Ankyra Sound I was born right here in Zion

Lafayette stirred, spoke- and was surrounded by doting family. Suzy was relieved, but could not yet shake the dread of such a thing happening again. History had repeated itself already within a year- would it become a tradition for the sea to attempt to force a bargain? 

Not with her, she decided. And not with her children. 

”Should we continue along de shoreline for a while?” She asked @Etienne. Over her shoulder, she could still see the cliffs. Her heart was still heavy from the goodbyes she had shared with her family.

She could not keep her promise- awaiting for Lafayette to wake up had been agonizing, and she could wait no longer when death hung about the Roja den just as it had after her grandmothers had died. 

The mountain range ahead of them gave her some reason to balk. She was not keen on travelling through the mountains, but she did not know which packs lived further into the valley beyond where Redtail Rise was. 

”Mebbe we head inland,” she suggested.

Etienne had said his goodbyes. He would return to tell @Lafayette stories someday.

He nodded his head. Dere be a few packs in de area if we be needin'. And I know furder inland dere be quite a few. Includin' w'ere reiki be.

You bein' okay Suzu?

He didn't mean her physical health. He knew how much his sister loved the sea herself. And to make this choice. He knew too she had agonizing over it. And was probably still.

She felt uncomfortable joining another pack, and it showed in the creases near her eyes. She would arrive there as a nobody, and at whatever stage of pregnancy it was that she’d be when she got there. A suckling of resources, coming from someone who could not prove their worth. If they were accepted anywhere, it would only be because of either Etienne’s potential or out of pity. 

Strangers were just as dangerous as the ocean, she reminded herself. She had not forgotten Mireille’s warning. 

”We go inland, den.” She said, before abruptly changing the topic. ”Where an’ when did you last see Reki?” She asked, curious about their missing brother. True- she was side-stepping his other question, but it was easily forgotten at the mention of Requiem’s name.

He saw her face and apoke softly. You planning doin' our own ting, Suzu. I know a few places. I be traveling a lot, dere for a bit. W'en my 'eart was 'eavy.

He could understand why she wouldn't want too, but the unknown was frightening. But he'd do his very best for her.

Etienne shook his head. It been a very long time. Very long time. I ain't been seein' 'im since before we was yearlin's.

She hated remembering how he had wandered, lonely and sad. She gave him a brave smile though. ”Now you be ‘avin’ your favourite Suzu wid you, an’ I ‘ave my favourite Eti wid me. It be better dis time.” She said. She gazed off into the distant woodlands- wondering where Theo was, and musing for a moment on how nice it would have been to have him join them. 

Reki, it seemed, might be a ghost to them again. She thought of trips to Redtail Rise from long ago, and a sudden memory popped a question into her head. ”You remember when we used to go visitin’ ‘im? A dat man, takin’ care of ‘im- what was is name again? Ash…Somet’ing?” She searched for the memory.

Etienne had been sad and alone and it had been rough. But he felt that it was something he had to do. He learned a lot and he realized the kind of wolf he wanted to be. And he stayed true to that since. Or tried too.

A soft chuckle. I am okay wit' dis. All I need.

He frowned in thought. And then a small sense of shame burned as he remembered how he had acted when the man had came and his mother's reprimand.

I be rememberin' 'im. Ashlar or Ashler?

It be somet’ing like dat, yes, She responded, squinting at the familiarity of the name. He had a kind face, a gentle, melodic voice. But there was something else she recalled, more strongly than the man’s appearance and name.

Did you ever wonder why it be dat Maman let ‘im keep Reki? She asked. It seems odd, for ‘er. Nowadays when I look back, I can’t ’elp but be wonderin’ if per’aps ‘e was our fat’er or somet’ing. She looked to her brother for his input.

Eti wasn't sure if he got the name right. But his sister seemed to understand and agree that the name was at least similar to the poor man's real name. Eti felt a pang of shame that he hadn't tried to learn more about the man. Intensified with his sister's next words.

Etienne sucked in a breath. It be possible. Dat be one ting I Do not understand. I 'ave traveled and it seems dey children do good wit' bot' parents just as good as one. I don't know w'y it be such a ting in Sapp'ique. Sometime it even make me sad. I am man. Do Manman and Auntil 'ate me sometimes because i be no woman?

Dey could never ‘ate you! Soft but urgent, she spoke those words hoping with every fibre of her being that he would believe her. She clicked her tongue a few times, wishing he’d never even needed to have such a thought- but it was natural for him to have some doubts, given the hierarchy of the pack. 

Sobo had led before, and Valravn now; men weren’t hated, but there was no climbing the ladder until you were a part of the family who had built it. 

I would t’ink you be right, dat children would be ‘appy to ‘ave a fat’er. Cannot say, because we did not get de chance to ‘ave one. I wonder if Maman introduced us to Ash- Ashlan, or Ashlar or whatever- because per’aps she realized we might ‘ave done well to ‘ave one but…Maybe she couldn’t make it work, an’ den just stopped taking us. She shrugged, and sighed. 

She drew her chin to her chest as they walked. Part of me wants de children to know Swordfish, if…If we can find ‘I’m, an’ if… She didn’t want to voice her doubts aloud- but she knew they were there. Swordfish might turn his back, as his father had once- and run, if he was scared. 

But part of me wants to keep dem safe an’ not…Not ‘ave a fat’er for dem dat will run away. If ‘e ever did, I…I don’t know. Dat would prove Maman right.

She wasn’t sure she could risk it.

His sister always reaching to reassure. There would never be another like Suzu. Who was his best friend and closest confidant. It had always been them. And it was something that he held tightly and dearly to his chest. And it was often how he managed to get some of the darkest times.

HE understood his family loved him. Treated him well especially given how they treated other men. However, he also knew that he would never be as important as his women relatives. As his mama or his auntie or the girls. Men could lead oh yes, but it was still the women that were looked too. And that was fine. Sapphique worked well like that, but other places didn't so much. He had seen that. And he would be lying if some of his bias didn't show at times about women and how they were more important.  

Etienne frowned in thought. His sister's worry's there at his mind. I be tinkin dat per'aps our manman, not be knowin' 'ow 'er felt. I see it myself. I be tellin' you all de time dat Anselm not be likin' me non? And I Do be believin' dat, but I am not so small sited dat I can't be sayin' dat I 'ave also never asked. Per'aps manman is dey same way, yea? And mebbe 'er be tinkin, can 'er even ask or expect more given our family's bias.

Etienne shrugged a lean shoulder. Let us get settled first Suzu. We fin' place w'ere you can be dey best mama to dese babies. And den we be lookin' for Sworfis'

Etienne made a soft click noise. We do not 'ave to take dey babies to see 'im first, non. We can tell 'im wit'out dem be knowin' den dey don't need know otterwise if he choose to be an idiot and leave dem. Because if 'e rejects you and dey babies. Well 'e just a fool.

It be foolish, dat is what it be, Suzu said and sighed. She couldn’t know her mother’s heart- not even when she wanted to believe that her mother had only the best intentions. She but heard the words Mireille had spoken, and had seen how her mother had never truly given Etienne the promotions he had deserved. 

She nodded faintly, however, in response to his suggestion. They could find a place to live, and the. Perhaps look for Swordfish. At dis point, I almost want to leave it up to fate. If ‘e is meant to be dier fat’er…’E will find ‘is way to us. But at de end of de day- it be me an’ you, Eti. 

She was willing to allow Swordfish’s participation be up to chance- but she knew for sure that she wanted to be with her brother.

Etienne offered a small half laugh. Per'aps it be. But our family bias be strong and sometimes some otters dey cannot break from dat.

Etienne could not bad mouth a life he had always known. Granted was his sister right. Yes, but sometimes certain personalities couldn't break from all they knew. It didn't happen well. Perhaps their mother and auntie would change.

Eti smiled softly. It always be me and you Suzu. Don't you be worryin about dat. We take good care of eac' otter and now dese babies. I can't wait to meet dem Suzu. I bet dey be just as cute as can be.

She did not want to waste her hours wondering if her mother would ever truly accept her grandchildren- but it would haunt her every night as she went to sleep, simply not knowing and having no real answer. Her only comfort was in knowing that Etienne would be with her, through it all. Whenever she reminded herself of that, her worries melted away.

”I ‘ope dey be soft an’ chubby, like me,” She said with a smile. We will get to name dem, an’ fuss over dem, an’ teach dem to be kind an’ smart, It all seemed like a dream- but a tangible one. She thought of some her earliest, happy memories- and gasped lightly as she was struck by a light loss. Ah- I left my pearl behin’, She said, thinking of the soft peach orb. She sighed, and shrugged one shoulder, trying to make the best of it. I bet Sobeille will fin’ it an’ claim it for herself.

Etienne had no doubt that once their mother saw the babies. She would love them. Regardless of their parentage. And he also held the belief that someday their mother would see them.

Etienne smiled. Dat be perfect I be tinkin. He loved how his sister was soft and a little chubby. But she held an inner fire that no one could take. He did hope his neices and nephews were just like her. They would be amazing.

He frowned. Once we get settled Suzu. And suc' I will go be getting it for you.

It would have to wait for awhile, but he'd get it for her someday.

Her brother’s agreement and reassurance was a salve for her soul. Relieved, she sighed softly, a faint smile dressing her lips as she imagined the delighted look on Sobeille’s face, when she realized that there was a pearl to be stolen. 

Let ‘er ‘ave it. Dey be a t’ing of de past, now. She said, and drew in a breath. 

The breeze guided her as she faced inland, and ruffled the fur of her cheek as she turned her face to her brother. Let us fin’ our new ‘ome.

Etienne studied his sister. He was glad he could be there for her. It was only right. Him and Suzu against the world.

She likes dose tings. She be asking me bout mine amd granmes.

He nodded. You be tinkin' of forest or nesr a meadow.

He knew she didn't want near water right now.