Arrow Lake abbatia

failure.

the failings of a man. the failings of a father. the failings of a leader.

wolves hemmoraged from mereo and fled his rule. arsenio's words sundered in his mind like glass. glaukos had not come home. icarus flung free into his own world.

guilt stabbed his throat.

and beneath it, a bleak red mist of rage.

had he not given reyson all things? respected him? made a place for him to rise? some lessening part of germanicus understood the unfairness of things.

but the eagle was tired of understanding.

so long as he stood there, he could feel the anger stropping to razor's edge against a desire he did not and yet did wish to feel.

"i am going to leave the sunspire." germanicus did not know why he had said it only that now it existed as a first manifestation of his want.

arsenio's voice grated at him. fennec's words humiliated him further.

and valiria.

valiria was gone away, the last touch of ruenna left to him. 

there was no part of him left that was honorable as a man.

the anger rose again, anger at those who had abandoned mereo and the watch to which they had committed themselves, to live in an oasis where a man who had lied as much as germanicus lived an easier life.

he did not know why he did not turn away, why his yellowpaint eyes were raw with self-hatred.