Noctisardor Bypass laksen

Again came that needling feeling whatever he’d said had not been right. At a loss for words, Anselm mentally examined everything that had been said so far. 

He knew the problem, in many ways, originated with him — but how could he move past that, when he was who he was?

Heda wiped away the last of the tears that wet her soft face. Anselm got the sense she was avoiding his gaze. A great weight seemed to settle between them. 

At last, the axe held over his head dropped and fell. What should have been a clean cut, so pristine in its pain, was instead a snarling and gristly rupture. 

He had no right to feel ownership over her, or to feel betrayed. He reminded himself that their relationship - a laughable term if it was that! - was a black seedling that should never be allowed to come to fruition; for it was equal parts bad for them both. And yet, the idea of thinking of a man — Amadeo of all men — moving inside Heda churned so cold a loathing in Anselm that for a moment he was besides himself. 

In true Anselm fashion — and further supporting the growing global opinion that he was a Giant Dick — Anselm laughed bitterly. The moment that hideous noise left him he felt ashamed for it, but there was no going back now. Even if he tried to articulate all the thousand ways that man made his skin crawl, his reservations would be perceived as jealousy. At the end of the day, he knew that it was true: he was jealous. And he was a dick. 

He only just managed to rein in the insolence of his tongue. Ve are adults, Heda. Her name felt like ash thrust upon his drying tongue. As he spoke, he could not help but marvel how his feelings did not align at all with what he said. Was this part of growing? Would his hard-heartedness eventually catch up to his brain? You are not mine to control. Though there were times he wished this was not  so. 

And while he knew that an apology was needed there — deserved, even — for Heda to move past, he could scarcely scrounge it up from the withering in his chest. Vill he replace me as their father?