Duskfire Glacier Ommatik

Her whole body flushed with warmth after she finished. Meerkat once again found herself wondering if she had expressed herself properly. But she couldn't afford to fret about it now, as it was his turn to speak. She literally leaned toward him, hanging on every word that came out of his mouth. Her heart pounded in her chest, making her whole body throb. Other than a sniffle here or there, she was deathly silent.

His words gave her hope. Maybe he wasn't in love with her now, though he was open to that sort of thing growing between them. Although it stung a little, Meerkat could accept that. She wondered how it would turn out if they decided to commit to one another this very day. Would it turn out the way he said: would their love grow, as long as they put in the effort to foster a good relationship? Could she handle that? Take a risk? Again?

But when Issorartuyok said, "I do not know if I am made to be that way," it was like someone dumped a bucket of ice water over her head. That was the clarification she needed, though certainly not the one she wanted. He went on to tell her she would make an ideal wife, yet he tellingly left out anything about the intimate bond between the two of them, an ideal she cherished and he failed to mention. None of what he said really involved his feelings at all.

Meerkat knew she deserved what she wanted. She shouldn't settle. She didn't want a repeat of her heartbreak over Atlas. Eliminating a possible future with Issorartuyok would hurt her deeply, though it was better to break things off before they even got started, wasn't it? Every cell in her body rebelled. She even began to shiver, her teeth chattering, but Meerkat mustered up her gumption.

She meant to say it clearly and with strength, though it came out as a shaky whisper. "I think we want and need different things, things we can't give each other. And that... sucks." Now she had to fight not to start crying. "But it is what it is. And we," Meerkat concluded, practically choking out the words now, "we're both good people, we deserve better than to settle for anything less than exactly what we want."