Bearclaw Valley oh holy ghost, how have i wandered so far from my home?

set for tomorrow - indra's first heat! tagging @Reigi for attn. all tags in thread are for visibility/invitation but anyone is welcome. indra is v confused. 

the change was so subtle the girl hardly noticed it. like her adolescence, it came quietly -- it came day by day in such soft touches that it was not until one afternoon she saw her reflection in the stream and realized she no longer recognized her features. gone were the round curves of her puppyhood, replaced by shapely angles and defined features.

indra felt funny. it wasn't funny like a sickness funny, but a clouded, angry funny. at first she had sought out @Blondine but realized the woman was in no condition to nurture her -- it should be the other way around, what with the russet woman's unfortunate departure from bicameral vision. it was probably best not to disturb her so morosely indra nosed around for @Laurel, who also appeared to be missing. for a moment she thought about seeking @Xan - she owed him a great deal of gratitude, but somehow felt too cowed by her own insecurity to reach out to him for some semblance of comfort.

indra slumped under a familiar douglas fir tree, having limped in circles for hours around the small den she and laurel had made for themselves. she felt restless and exhausted at once. she was tired and irritable and didn't understand: her stump hurt, her belly hurt, and something else she had never experienced before made her feel wildly evasive and effulgent all in the same confusing go.

Border work had become second nature to him; he didn’t necessarily enjoy it, per se, but understood the importance. Especially now, with his friend in heat and the blizzard having just recently passed, he was on high alert. He stood guard just beyond the valley’s walls, watchful. There he remained until it came time to check in with Reigi again, at which point he turned and headed towards the innermost reaches of the territory. Yet, what had previously been an easy task—tracking her—wasn’t the same any longer. He’d caught wind of it here and there, the increase in hormones that suggested the casting of another spell, but he’d thought nothing of it. Even now, as he trailed after a fragrance not quite the same as the one he’d gotten used to, he didn’t fully grasp the subtle differences—not until he saw that the girl he was heading towards had bright, fiery fur, rather than the duller shades of his companion.

Though hesitant, his steps did not cease—and, before long, even the hesitance was gone. Alexander closed the distance between them with an air of confidence about him, but still stopped just a short ways off from colliding with her. And whilst his brain said no and turn around, his tail began to wag and he let a low whine slip passed his lips.

the crunch of snow announced another wolf's arrival - at first indra was tense, until the wind lifted and xan's scent filtered into the glade. she summoned a small smile as he got closer, her head low and ears held akimbo. something was different - something about the way he looked at her was not the same as before. suddenly thoughts of ithrik clawed their way to the forefront of her mind and she recoiled in fear, steadying herself with soft gasps as she realized that xan's eyes carried none of ithrik's brutal intensity.

he came closer, uttering a strange whine that indra could not decipher. something in her breast started fluttering wildly and she wanted to rise up to meet him and supplant licks all along his muzzle but she could not -- would not. compelled then by her basal instincts,  indra slowly rolled over onto her back, her wrists tucked to her thin chest as she exposed her belly to the alpha in subordinance.

The way she recoiled had hesitance creeping back up through the back of his mind, his advance slowing. His ears fell flat and another whine slithered its way up and out of his throat, but she rolled before he could come to a complete stop. The sight had his ears popping back up and body relaxing, as well as enticed him closer. His steps were quick-paced, closing the distance between them with ease. And, should she not move, he’d trail his nose through the fur of her underbelly, eyeing the source of the scent before turning his head back to face her.

Mouthing at her paws and nipping at her chest, Alexander tried to incite play to get her back on her feet and responding to his attempts at courtship. Because although he loved the sight of submission, that wasn’t what he wanted right now.

reigi was confused.

alexander had offered her a home within the confines of the valley and opened its secrets to her without hesitation.  he had not chased her with teeth and fury once she had started exploring the internal territories that had been so mysterious to her, and had yet to punish her for anything.

they had fought together side-by-side and tended each others wounds, and he had satisfied her emotionally with a depth she had previously thought out of her reach.

she loved him.

well no, not really.  not yet.  not in the sense that those with higher functioning could achieve. not real, true love.  instead it was something bordering between respect and obsession, but she didn't know that.

she woke in the morning with these thoughts on her mind and him absent from her side.  although she did not like being under his constant watchful eye, she did enjoy his company most of the time (especially as of late, since their play led to other things).  she wondered how long he had been gone, and she followed his scent with a casual gait.

there was something else in the air as well.  it was distinctly female and clouded everything, although it seemed that it wasn't just coming from her anymore. that she was content to ignore until it entwined with that of the man that had claimed her.  bristling, her lip raises as her pace quickens and as she rounds on them she halts entirely.

oh.

honestly, what else did she expect?  it was instinct, something she was intimately familiar with, and she could not fault him for acting upon it.  but still the thoughts crept up — was her company not good enough for him?  it had felt different with him, but maybe he was still like the others had been.

just because someone is gentle with you does not mean that you are special.

she is dangerous in mind as she approaches the pair, brazenly wagging her tail to throw around that intoxicating heat-scent as she lets out a low growl.  it is not threatening but it is certainly.. something else.

perhaps she can seduce him once more and lead him to the relative safety of their den.  but then what?  if she could have understood him earlier, she'd know he might appreciate being prevented from making another mistake.

but she didn't.  so for now, the announcement of her arrival and wafting of her scent (and receptivity) would have to do.

carefully she wriggled into the snow, worming onto her back with her hocks splayed to the side. xan's approach only faultered for a moment before he delivered gentle nips to her chest and paws. as isolated as indra was to the world, she was still able to recognize the incitement of play -- gingerly she flipped onto her elbows and propped herself up shakily from the snow.

she issued a whine to accompany his, her ears flat against her skull and her muzzle carefully and deliberately held lower than his own. should he allow it she would pull towards him with a flurry of licks to his cheek and neck; she did not understand this emotion that drove her, but it controlled her. she found herself canting her hips in his direction as she delivered affectionate nips at his lower limbs -- and who was this indra, that found herself brushing alongside a male, immensely taken aback by their proximity but desiring it all the same?

she tried to prop her hips and flank against him, excited whines issuing from her lips as she did so -- until another female made her presence known. indra froze though she felt herself trying to sink back against xan's flank -- it was the strange wolf that had massacred and dismembered that squirrel. indra's ears splayed sideways in conflict - she was not sure what this wolf wanted, but somehow felt whatever it was, it was something designed to take something from her.

He remained still as she rose and approached him, tail held high and waving back and forth. He welcomed her touch each time she licked him, a low, pleased rumbling coming from his chest. But then her angle shifted, hips creeping closer and her pull becoming more difficult to resist. The only thing keeping him from jumping her bones right then and there was the brief flash of her body, battered and broken, following her attack. It made his advancement slow, cautious and mindful for fear that one wrong move would hurt her all over again; as much as his body drove him to give in to instincts and instincts alone, he couldn’t shake that image from his head. And whilst it wasn’t a complete mood-killer, it did make him all the more gentle. Even as he nipped at her flank and nosed through her fur, his approach was slow and touches soft.

But he could only carry on like that for so long before it got old and his urges stronger, pushing him to jab at her hind end with his nose. Another whine escaped him, but it was muted immediately thereafter by his friend’s growl. Before he could see—or smell—who it was, he positioned himself between Indra and her, ears flat. He looked first to her and then to their guest—and when his gaze met hers he froze, a part of him wanting to reach out to her whilst another wanted to stay there with the fiery girl.

The albino liked Reigi, he trusted her, knowing that she would have his back in any battle. But he also cared for Indra—in an entirely different way, but the affections were still there, simply diluted. And though he knew he could trust the latter, too, he couldn’t help but give in to the small, ugly voice in his head that insisted she would go out and find herself another male if he didn’t provide—and he couldn’t have that, he couldn’t have another man’s offspring in his home and stealing from his land. Yet, staying with her also meant betraying the trust of his companion, something he was as equally mortified by—these women made his life difficult.

Being Xan—smart but completely lacking when it came to common sense—he thought he had a solution to all of life’s problems: have them both. It was with that thought in mind that he took a few steps towards Reigi, only to stop midway and toss his head towards Indra, inviting her to join their instinctual game.

before he could see her, he was angry with her and it was only once he realized that it was she who unleashed that threatening growl that it subsided.  

she didn't exactly know how to place the feeling that realization brought forth, but she decidedly did not like it, no sir.  but now was not a time to be distracted.

this woman irritated her.  she did not want to share, and she did not like the way the women's hips cantered towards him, enticing him forth.  and she especially did not like when he dare try to draw her forth towards them with such casual demeanor.

although she knew she wouldn't draw blood against a packmate, she wanted the fiery woman to be unaware.  her hackles raised, body stiff as it could get, she pushed forward with slow, deliberate steps towards the pair.  and for now she'd leave it at that.. but if she needed to, she'd draw closer, snapping at the air.

her actions elicited a pleased grumble from the male, which drove her to be more forceful (indra, forceful?) in her advancement -- she was so bewildered by her own inexplicable actions, but somehow she knew what she was doing was right - it came to her the same way prey drive did, or the urge to join a cacophony of howls - maybe, indra thought, this feeling had been inside of her all along -- just dormant up until now.

she thought she detected misgiving in the female - her ears lifted slightly from her skull and she glanced from xan to reigi with her expression apprehensive. xan had made towards the darker wolf and indra thought for a moment she was being abandoned (HEY!!). for two seconds she was crestfallen, the absence of his touch on her flank keenly felt -- until he motioned for reigi to join them.

she was not sure if she liked that idea either -- and apparently, neither did reigi. indra's ears cupped forward as she witnessed the darker female's hackles raise, and her expression was drained entirely of play as she watched reigi pull forward with slow, assertive steps.

indra did not back down then - perhaps stupidly, she thought it was her right to be here, and what even had she done to deserve such threatening displays? she was unaware of xan and reigi's coupling, and was simply bewildered (and a little huffy) as reigi drew closer. had she a tail it would have hiked assertively over her flat hips -- she felt her posture stiffen and she regarded reigi coolly, her head lifting to announce her station. pointedly she drew her muzzle to xan as if to say 'do you believe this binch?' -- for reasons she could not explain she felt personally attacked by reigi's advancement.

Though Xan had momentarily entered her mind when she'd come into season, Laurel's only thoughts were to use her heat against him, to achieve what she'd always wanted in the first place. Yet it wasn't looking for Xan that drove her to follow Indra's trail that morning -- it was Indra. Keeping her safe, making sure nothing happened.

A growl spurred her along and as she came into view she watched Indra half cower behind, half seduce Xan while another wolf stood there, looking very hostile. Her steps came closer and closer to Xan and Indra, and it looked to Laurel like the stranger night hurt her sister if she didn't intervene.

With a dangerous growl Laurel stormed towards the three; hackles raised, tail flagged dominantly in the air. Laurel ran towards them at full speed, fully intending to throw herself in between Indra and Xan, and the aggressive stranger.

The suggestion was not received well, as neither of them seemed to take his offer; he didn’t quite understand why and looked between them with a furrowed brow. And then Reigi advanced and he felt his own body grow stiff, gaze trained on her. He did not make any attempts to deter her, choosing instead to stare the girl down—he didn’t know what she would do or how she would react towards either of them, but he wasn’t about to let things escalate too far. At the end of the day, they were both in his pack—packmates to one another—and he couldn’t let them tear each other apart.

And as if two women were not enough, a third soon joined the mix, her demeanour threatening—

—and dominant. Immediately, Xan’s own tail rose up and sickled over his back, meeting her challenge head-on. And whilst his nature as a leader was currently reigning supreme, he did not miss the scent she carried, nor could he resist the stirring in his lower regions. It became apparent rather quickly that these women were the pawns of nature as a cruel trick was played on him, each in heat and each within his grasp. But Alexander did not reach out to take, he did not give in to his urges—yet—as he was instead facing up against Laurel and her apparent insubordination; though the threat was not directed solely at him, that was how he perceived it to be.

Atop stiff legs he took a single step in the tawny girl’s direction, incisors flashing in warning: stand down. The longer he remained there, however, the more uncomfortable he became—he could feel himself slowly losing against the scent in the air, his body eager to set everything aside and satisfy itself. Truthfully, it was overwhelming, but he could not yet determine if it was pleasantly so or bothersome—either way, he refrained from making advances on any of them, deciding it was more important that he deal with Laurel (for now, that is).

all at once the dull-coated woman's world is crashing down on her in waves; the red girl does not back down and soon there is another, running towards her with gnashing teeth.  and between all of it, there is him.  she is outnumbered three to one, and all of her opponents were packmates.

her breath hitches in her throat, steps halting entirely as her gaze darts axiously between the trio, and the only thing that can escape her lips is a quiet, subdued xan... before she turns heel and tears off from the valley that has begun to suffocate her, missing entirely the interaction between xan and laurel.

there was a whirl of tawny and a flurry of snow -- indra stepped back as laurel streaked through them like a snarling comet, her tail flagged in dominance and her posture stiff. immediately indra flew to laurel's side, bolstered by her bolder sister's presence. resentfully she eyed reigi, a dull smugness in her gaze as she watched the wolf quickly turn tail.

she felt triumphant but only for a second -- as she turned back to xan and laurel she saw the male posturing aggressively towards her sister. whether it was deserved or not, indra felt a flash of anger seize her heart. laurel's insubordination was overlooked as all indra saw was the flash of xan's teeth - no one threatened laurel!

with a thick snarl glutting her throat indra shoved forwards, attempting to shoulder xan in any way possible so that his attention was redirected to her. there was no question at all who indra would side with if an altercation erupted between the trio. she felt her hackles rising to new heights as she anxiously awaited his reaction.

Much like Indra, Laurel felt triumphant to see Reigi turn tail. How pathetic, sadly whimpering Xan's name before running off crying. Laurel felt on top of the world and ready to claim her prize, but when she turned to face Xan she saw his dominant posture and knew that he'd misinterpreted her dominance in his presence. Indra quickly shoved at Xan with a flash of teeth, and Laurel grinded her teeth as she wished that hadn't happened.

Should Xan respond aggressively to Indra's gesture she'd respond accordingly but for now Laurel's tail dropped and she said, "It wasn't for you, only for her. She doesn't own you -- does she?" Laurel hoped that her words world somehow manage to reverse what was going on here. Should Xan try to go after Reigi she would try to physically deter him, still in the direct path between where she'd run off to -- he was, right now, only hers and Laurel's, as far as she was concerned, and she would make him see that.

There was a brief moment between the shifting of his stance and the retreat of his friend that his muscles relaxed, the sound of his name snaking its way through his head and drawing him towards Reigi. He glanced over just in time to notice her retreat, which caused regret to flicker across his face—but it wasn’t long before his attention was pulled off of her and over to Indra, her growl and the contact made making his lips pull back in a snarl. Again, he stiffened and shifted forward as if he might advance towards her, only to stop before his limbs could begin to move.

The image returned, her broken and bloodied form laid out in the snow. As soon as it flashed through his mind his expression was adjusted and he gazed at her, an unspoken apology in his eyes. He couldn’t hurt her, not now or ever, not since seeing her in the days following her attack; the idea that he could cause the same damage without even meaning to often crossed his mind, forbidding him from lashing out. But the same could not be said for Laurel, whose insubordination was still fresh in his mind and not so easily ignored—but it was rectified, her posture adjusted although her words struck a nerve.

“No one owns me,” he declared, tail lashing. Yet, whilst he wasn’t owned, he was still drawn to her and Laurel’s comment reminded him that she’d fled the scene. He glanced between them before turning towards the direction Reigi had taken off in, the reminder being the only thing needed to have him making an attempt at getting away and following after her.

while indra regretted her impudence towards xan, she did not regret defending her sister. she was sufficiently cowed when xan retaliated -- her ears folded flat to her skull and she hunched her spine downwards and looked away, scurrying towards laurel's flank as she did so. indra cast a sour glance in the direction reigi had headed in, feeling somewhat conflicted about the entire exchange.

the tenderness that she and xan had exchanged moments before seemed a life-time ago, and indra found a forlorn feeling snake around her as she watched laurel and xan's interactions. xan was quick to contest laurel's accusation, but in silence indra agreed with her sister. she watched in disappointment as xan made to follow reigi. her gaze flickered to laurel's in search of vindication -- a shared look between them that was subtle to others but clear in context to each other: neither one of them were good enough.

she found resentment snaring her again; and a poisonous shade of insecurity took ahold of her. she did not like feeling second to anyone or anything and it caused her to feel shunned and isolated.

The situation luckily diffused somewhat, but she could tell that he was looking in the direction that the unknown wolf had gone off into, that he wanted to follow her. Laurel could tell that she had struck a nerve with her comments, for he announced boldly that nobody owned him. "Well, fuck her, then — she ran away." But not long after he had spoken Xan made to leave. Laurel shoved hard against @Xan's shoulder as he passed, though presumably she wouldn't manage to faze him much in his movements.

Yet whatever the outcome of her shove, Laurel's hackles pricked and she shouted with a voice laced with derision: "Fine, fuck off to her then! See if we care, you dumb-ass idiot!" She didn't care what he would think of her or if he would chase her out. Xan was just like everybody else she had met. He didn't care about her. He didn't love her. He didn't even like her at all. Laurel looked dominant and ready to fight if Xan would turn back, but Indra would know by the way that she pressed her flank against Indra's body as though seeking silent confirmation that her sister was still there. She didn't catch the look on Indra's face, fully focussed on Xan until he was out of sight, though she didn't need to make eye contact with her sister to know that she might feel the same (and knew exactly how Laurel was feeling).

pls let us know on disco or otherwise if Xan won't respond, Kuro, so we know to skip 'em! :)

Xan out!

The way Indra scurried off to her sister’s side made him feel guilty—despite her actions, he should not have reacted the way he did. But whilst guilt welled up within his chest, he also felt as if his actions were justified; he was the alpha, not them, so why shouldn’t he meet a challenge head-on? Still, he regretted having exposed the fiery girl to it when she was only defending her sister, something that he would have done himself if the roles were reversed. He could not take back what had happened, though, and so he proceeded with his attempt to leave—

—up until contact was made and words shouted.

Alexander slowed to a stop and turned to look back at Laurel, a glare set in his features. He wanted to go towards her, to correct her, but he had something else to take care of—something more important, something that could affect the pack and him directly. “You want me to just let her run off to wherever?” he asked, though it was purely rhetorical. “Do you want me to let her go out where she has no protection from anyone? To abandon her?” His lip twitched, threatening to reveal more than just his incisors. “I won’t do that.” He couldn’t—not only because she was a member of his pack, but because she was his friend and he couldn’t let another one of those down, not after last time. “This isn’t over. We’ll be talking later,” was the last thing he said before turning back around and taking off after Reigi.

indra could see the mix of guilt and self-aggrandizement spill across xan's features. in that heated moment, it did not lessen the strange melancholy that overtook her. for the tenth? fifteenth? countless? time in her life, laurel was proving that all they had in this bitter and ugly world was each other.

life had a strange way of hammering home mantras and reoccuring themes -- one of which seemed to be to trust no one, but your blood.

indra looked to the tracks left in the snow and her gaze was hooded. "she's not helpless. not any less than the rest of us." indra chimed dully, but said nothing further. in her eyes, that wolf was just as capable as biting as she - perhaps more so.

Xan stopped, like Laurel wanted, and spoke about the stupid girl as if she was totally unable to protect herself. Laurel huffed audibly and rolled her eyes as Indra said that she wasn't any more defenceless than the rest of them. Indra'd got hurt, where the fuck was Mr "I'm gonna protect y'all all the time" then? Laurel's blood was boiling and her mood had swiftly gone from wanting to get cosy with Xan to mess with him to wanting to give him a scar to remember by that he shouldn't mess with her.

"Yes, we want you to let her run off, because she fucking ran off for a reason! She doesn't want you, asshole!" But Xan didn't seem to be listening as he said something about talking later and ran off. Laurel gritted her teeth and called after him: "Fine, fuck off forever, see if I care!" which obviously she did but would never admit. Turning to Indra, Laurel narrowed her eyes and said: "See? I told you all men are scum." She still had no idea who the girl was that had seduced Xan away from them, but she thought it was super stupid the way he'd run after someone who obviously didn't want to be near him.

indra had similar sentiments: that other wolf clearly wanted no part in being with xan, yet he had gone trotting after her like a dutiful dog. she watched his receding form as laurel shouted taunts after him and was struck by how similar their situation was to what had transpired with reek and saena.

once more, they had been forsaken -- once more, someone had the chutzpah to look them in the eye and then leave. indra did not know what was so reprehensibly lacking from the two of them that made wolves compulsed to abandon them, but she was starting to take each interaction as a slight. she was starting to see the world as it really was -- not the world as her idyllic, childish imagination had envisioned it.

everyone sucked. everyone was self-serving, self-interested, self-promoting and self-involved. every single person out there was only looking out for themselves, and fuck the little guys, right? it made a sharp lump catch in her throat as she simmered in thought, stung by the realization.

"just like daddy." she observed, her voice riddled with stingy resentment and a wry sense of humor.

Indra's conclusion was the only conclusion that Laurel had pulled from life, too. Indra was the only wolf who was worth it; the rest of them were just assholes who would ditch them and egoistically stick to themselves and each other. But never them. She felt a bitter sting as Indra mentioned Reek — who'd never truly been a daddy to them — and nodded absently, a bitter, cold look on her face.

Then she abruptly moved over to Indra and brushed her nose past her sister's face with a soft hum. "But at least we have each other," she murmured softly into the fur along her sister's neck. Then she abruptly disconnected, deciding that she didn't want to be gloomy and dwell on her parents, and said, "C'mon, let's go do something fun!" She turned away rather abruptly and started to run away, then dashed back to Indra to nip her on the shoulder and stayed beside her, prancing in place beside her in hopes that the good mood would rub off on Indra, so that she would actually start to believe hers, too..

my last post? unless indra has more important stuff to talk about!

misgiving still colored her red face as she stared long after both parties had left -- it was not until laurel swept her muzzle over hers (a gesture indra returned affectionately) that she turned away.

at least they had each other. indra grunted in agreement. "always." she concurred, nudging her sister gently with a shoulder. at the suggestion of doing something fun indra rallied almost instantly -- anything to get the situation that had just happened out of mind.

"we could go check out the moose herd." indra suggested, rising with a bob of her head in excitement. whatever they did - be it hunt, or harass, or hellraise - indra knew laurel would always be there for her. for that reason, indra would follow laurel to the ends of the earth.