Wheeling Gull Isle out of the corner of my eye

backdated to November 24 -- located at night in Rizhao's Cave

She had killed a girl here.

Maegi sat upon the edge of the stone walkway, looking out to the waves. They calmed with the shallows, pooling quietly into the cavern—but out there, they were wild. Formidable. Undulating black masses against the star-dotted sky.

How long had it taken for the sea to swallow her up? She had been so limp. Still warm, but surely not for long.

It had been an accident. A mixup of herbs. One flower mistaken for another; that was all it took to drag life down into death. Cicero might have been proud. Coelacanth would have banished her from the island, had she known.

She wondered if any of the seawolves living here now were killers, or if Maegi and Mou were total outliers. 

Spilling blood wasn't enough to damn them, she thought. Both wolves she'd killed, she hadn't laid tooth or claw upon them. She hadn't broken the skin. And Mou—

Maegi lay slowly down, forelegs outstretched, her paws dangling over the edge. She could feel the sea-spray on her toes.

One leg shorter than the other. The freak had returned to utopia.

Ah, Maegi, you frighten me! Huā sucked in a small gasp as if she had been crept up on, releasing it in a sigh. She often came down to this place to bask in its beauty- but today she had been greeted by a ghostly figure with her back to the empress, resting at the edge of the water. After a moment she'd realized it was the new recruit- but in that instant, she wondered if Mei's spirit had come back to greet them.

I do not find other in here often, Huā murmured in explanation for her surprise as she padded closer, coming to settle on her haunches just behind Maegi. Have you ever seen a place so beautiful?

It was a little unfair that Yuelong's leader could claim fright, given that she had been the one to come upon Maegi so suddenly—but the Blackfeather turned, giving Huā a watery smile once her heart settled down a bit. Sorry, she said automatically, and soon returned her eyes to the sea.

She felt a little uneasy with the woman sitting behind her. . .as if this was to be the day she paid for her sins. Huā was stronger, more agile—could push her into the water—and Maegi was no strong swimmer. Still, she nodded in agreement, gaze flickering upward, looking at the bioluminescence of the cavern.

She had, in fact, seen a place like this. Given that it was steeped in nightmares more dire than the ones she faced now, however. . .

It's gorgeous, Maegi replied, and finally rose to a sitting position. Her pulse hammered in her ears—or was it Lainie's, slowing, fading? She glanced down to the water and then back to her leader. Why do you think others don't come here often?

Maegi apologized, but agreed with her thought that the place was beautiful. That was, of course, the answer the empress wished to hear, too; thus she was satisfied, and smiled. 

Why do you think others don't come here often?

Maybe they do, but I never see them down here, Huā explained, and laughed lightly. I discover this place with my sisters. I am sure some of my members find it, but rarely do I ever introduce it to them. And so they must choose to enter this darkness alone, without knowing what is down here. She realized her own words sounded rather ominous in a way, and smirked at herself. Huā was quiet for a moment, and then mused, 

I think it will be good for a ceremony, someday, perhaps. My sister was religious, and thought it was a holy place...

She was used to entering darkness alone—and that proclivity wasn't limited to the physical. Stalking through the bleakest corners of her mind had become a pastime. She was drawn to these types of places, anyway. . .and with its place in her life, its terrible history, she knew she had needed to return.

Maegi's ears perked up at the mention of religion. It does feel a little sacred, doesn't it? she murmured, tracing the bioluminescence with her bicolored eyes. What did your sister believe in? And what kind of ceremonies do you think this place would be suited for?

Maybe this was her moment. A place, free of the daedra; a new home for Jaes. Whatever these wolves believed in, she could roll with it, so long as it did not involve the gods of her parents. And if they found themselves agnostic. . .

Jaes, guide my tongue, she thought, and felt a sudden warmth about her.

Yes, sacred, if you believe in these things... look how the water seems to glow, like a God has touched it. She stared down at the reflections that wavered on the surface. It was almost enough to make her believe there was more than just the simple nature that met her eye. More around them than could be seen alone. My sister believe in two gods- Cang, who made life, who controls the clouds, who gives her visions of the future in riddles. He is the god of vast things, of the sea and sky, of blue. The other is Rizhao- this place, in Mei's eye, was his. Who lives on the moon, and rules the waves, the sun and light, and glowing things. That is he. She fell quiet for a moment, allowing Maegi to soak up that information. She blinked, remembering there was a second question, and continuing. Well, important things... children becoming adults, or marriage... big days like that. I think it would be nice to be married here, She sighed quietly, and gazed down into the blue.

The gods Huā spoke of were beautiful—or rulers of beautiful things, at least. None of the death or damnation of the daedra, nor yet her own grim fascination with mortality that lie within Jaes. Clouds and sky, waves and light, life. It felt so. . .wrong.

She felt unworthy to be here.

Cang and Rizhao, she repeated, trying hard to pronounce each one just perfectly. Musn't upset the deities in their own domain; even if she did not believe in them, she was still superstitious. There was something like that in my birthplace. A holy site, for rituals. If only the quakes had shaken it all down, split the altar in two.

Maegi lifted her eyes, looked at Huā. She shouldn't ask, but— You're not married? she inquired gently. She knew the women had children, and so the absence of a father. . . 

Well, it wasn't incomprehensible. Rowan and his siblings had lacked a father; Cicero had died before seeing Averna and Astara born. Meanwhile, Maegi was happily married and yet all her children gone—

Maegi pronounced them well, and Huā nodded with a slight upturn at the corners of her lips. Dark ears twitched as she listened to the woman explain her own past circumstance. A holy site... did you have gods, too? Huā wondered with real interest, seaglass eyes flashing with a glimmer of childlike curiosity. The next question caused her to stiffen awkwardly for just a moment, before she shook off her discomfort in the form of a sorry little nod. Yes... I... to be honest with you, I would like to be married sometime... sometime soon, I would hope. The father of my children, he is someone very dear to me- but we are far apart, and he has other girls. It makes it hard. The empress sighed candidly, and then wondered if she had overshared too much. Sorry, Huā winced with an apologetic smile, flattening her ears against her head.

She nodded, and quickly said, My family's gods. She left it at that. Not hers. The Melonii gods were no longer hers. But that was a long and convoluted story, and she didn't want to burden Huā with it, especially given the change in subject and the hesitant way the leading woman replied to her question.

No, I'm sorry, Maegi replied, shaking her head. I didn't know it was so complicated. She couldn't imagine Mou having other women, other children. In fact, she struggled to think of a couple who weren't pledged solely to one another—

My parents. She gave an involuntary shudder and shoved Potema and Cicero to the furthest reaches of her mind, where they belonged.

She blinked softly at Huā. I hope you can find happiness, she murmured. With him, or someone else. But at least you have your children.

And Maegi envied her very much for it.