Arrow Lake velut

it would be very easy to disappear.

germanicus carried the bleak and treacherous thought with him upon an extended patrol.

he stood at the lake he had visited many times and gazed at its crystal surface. he walked its cold edge and watched a single falcon fly reflected in the unmoving shallows.

and for a moment he wished he was that high and fierce hunter, yellow eyes watching it until it soared across the sunspire and was gone from sight.

arsenio's words burnt in his chest. fennec's dedication to these unseen forces or so he still thought, it chafed him.

the loneliness that had set in with crowfeather's loss now moved to drown germanicus.

and ruenna.

and his children.

until he sagged, shoulder to the good stone of the mountain, facing out over the great expanse but no longer seeing as grief twisted his features.

---

he rarely extended himself beyond paleo, but today he did.

today he had thought he might find medalina and see if she wished to learn, if they might hunt together. he had thought that maybe he'd find a gift for mahler and wylla. something to show his continued thanks for practically making him their son.

now, as he stood with a mouthful of pheasant, he spotted a familiar figure.

in an unfamiliar way.

but how many days had siku spent looking like that? after his father had come and turned his little world upside down with too many things. after the chasm of disjointed family had swallowed him whole.

only the chasm had already spit out siku, only tendrils still held him. for now it seemed like it gripped onto germanicus.

his lips twisted around the bird. then softly he dropped it, allowing that to be the only way he might announce himself to the man.

germanicus wanted ramesses to die.

it felt that that the man was the the heart of every pain.

and now he had lost arsenio.

guardian. soldier. warrior. he turned and saw siku near. siku, with the breadth of his father but the open gaze of a boy so young. siku, who represented another failure.

the eagle let go his breath. he stared at the wraith and then to the bird caught by the boy.

he was learning. he was thriving outside of mereo. perhaps arsenio had been correct. perhaps the mountains where were men came to give up and to die.

germanicus said nothing, heart already racing for the rolling open land beneath the mountain.

and so he picked the bird up.

a symbol.

he strided in on legs too tall for such gauntness. still he did not speak, but he settled near.

then began silent work.

one feather at a time, one feather became many. a pile between him and germanicus. a mountain, if you would.

he broke a bare piece off and set it there upon the bed of feathers. intended for the stony man if he had stayed near.

he did not feel so at odds with the man anymore.

for a moment germanicus stared at the offering.

he pawed it closer with a small heaving sigh. "thank you, siku."

it was a generosity he did not deserve, not with how badly they had parted. presently his eyes came to roam the boy. "are you doing well in paleo?"

he hoped so.

well enough to set these things aside with the somber man.

the boy on the borders with me, emmerich, is like a brother. he kept his eyes upon the bird, plucked a few more feathers free so that he might work even more of the meat away from the bird.

mahler is much like a father.

he removed a leg from the bird.

i think i'll be a trader in the spring. his voice was soft, nearly distant. as if it was another boy who sat here among the imperator.

does mereo need anything?

he had never given them anything when he had been there.

fighters. warriors that would not desert mereo.

would not force him to change things so much so often.

but he supposed that was unfair. he did not need to lie this on siku.

"hunting is always worth much in weather like this," he said, choosing to present as affable. "what do your father and brother think of this choice to be a tradesman?"

his eyes were warm in this mismatched gaze.

he liked to think that germanicus addressed the spoken names as his brother and father. for siku did not think he had much of many family beyond them, and he had become too distant from nanuq for his chosen path to impact his blood brother.

it's a way of life in paleo. one of the ways.

his voice was softer. now as he laid the bird leg between his paws, he gave the rest of the bird to germanicus. still feathered so that it would not collect dirt on the imperator's way home.

will you let me trade with you?

but he knew he had already failed the man next to him before and he prepared some of himself for rejection.

the way of life.

siku was content. confident. his movements did not speak fear and fury any longer. he had grown up.

he had become whole.

and so arsenio had been right again.

"i will."

the eagle's voice was hoarser than before.

i'll come to mereo.

he wished to say, found it caught in the back of his throat.

not yet ready for that plunge. even if he could find it in himself to not look so hard upon the imperator. was he ready to chance facing his blood father? his mother even?

we can meet here.

he hoped that the only term he had laid out was agreeable.

it was agreeable.

and it was more than he deserved.

the eagle nodded.

"i will come."

he chanced a look at siku now but did not press.

and he looked to the imperator. a man he had once been meant to follow.

a softness upon his still boyish features.

any requests?

his tail dared a tap, just once. soon it would be time to head back home before mahler or wylla worried.

something like a smile chased the lines of his mouth.

"robin eggs."

their color pleased his eye and the innards would make a rich food for fennec.

he thought to the future. to rebirth.

last from me! <3

robin eggs.

at once he knew he must go to mahler and ask of this — as well as letting his father figure know of his intentions. the boundaries he had carefully laid!

but he trusted, most of all, mahler to give him enough information to guide himself through his foray into trading.

it will be done. a heartier tapping of his tail, yet now he stood. tall on gangly legs.

it was time to return home now.