Lion Head Mesa i might be just like you.
Loner

Priestess of Nwt

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#1
All Welcome 
tags for ref, open tho!

Time had passed since she had been found and treated by @Tavina, and watched over by @Nala.
The bloodletting had ended. She had been left with nothing.

Nazli's recovery, physically, went as well as it could have. Her weight had begun to fluctuate, but she managed to stay awake for longer periods and did not seem to be at risk for the eternal sleep. She did not speak to anyone for much of that time; whether @Makono needed her in attendance or not, there was no budging the fellahin from the bed.

On this morning, as she awoke, Nazli saw the meal that had been left at her bedside and made to reach for it; but instead of taking it for herself, she grasped the offering and felt a spike of rage, and dashed it against the wall. The soft thud of the game hen's body against the stone was anticlimactic.

After, Nazli sat on the bed staring down at it with empty, dark eyes.
Pharaoh *
immortal longings
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#2
Toula prayed after Nazli. She provided things to the Gods and Goddesses that would look after her. and today, as she came to observe Tavina and her work, she heard that her prayers had been answered!
the clattering shocked Toula, who rushed to the room and gasped to see the mess. one gentle look to an available fellahin saw to it the mess was quickly seen to, and Toula’s soft eyes turned back to the lavender girl. 
they were not to your liking? Toula asked with the tilt of her head. she drew nearer to the girl that had been with her, and helped in her own times of need. she was also not unaware of her sisters own adoration of the girl! it furthered her own preference, if nothing else. but like Iset, she hoped to heal and aid Nazli in this. for that, food was required! tell me, please, what you would prefer, came her urging voice.
Loner

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#3
No sooner had the hen hit the dirt, was there a face at the door.
Nazli ignored it until she heard the voice, as it was not the voice of a fellahin or of the healer; it was someone she had not expected, and even in her current state she could see the wrongness of that.
Toula came, and with her a servant tidied the mess. Nazli felt that rage she'd thrust upon the hen turn inward, and her stomach soured to any thought of food. It was the way the amiirad acted as servant that really turned her stomach!
I should be asking you that. Her voice broke as she murmured this, and she sucked in a breath that would've become a gale if she had not caught it; her eyes stung as if they carried tears, and the words themselves choked her.
Pharaoh *
immortal longings
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#4
Toula drew nearer and said with a smile, you have. and you will again, she encouraged. Toula knew it was what Nazli loved most! but you must eat to do so, she hummed with Her knowing. 
another meal came, not so intricate in its arrangement. Toula was glad for it; she would set Nazli to this. it was not so difficult a thing, and she thought the task, small thing that it was, would hopefully divert the girls mind for a time. 
will you arrange the meats and things to make them more appealing to the eye? perhaps the task would make her hunger grow! Toula remained hopeful, praying once more for the aid of Her Gods.
Loner

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#5
Nazli realized she wasn't hungry. There had been nothing wrong with the hen, or with the replacement meal, and she felt such guilt now for ruining a perfectly good meal! She saw what was now offered, and heard the delicate care that Toula carried as she spoke, and felt it more and more. Guilt, embarrassment, rage, sorrow; it was everywhere, all at once.

Rather than refuse the princess, Nazli would let her subservience win. It would make the girl happy if she ate - even if the taste did not agree with Nazli, who until her bleeding had been a true glutton.

She took some food and quietly chewed it, then forced it down with a hard swallow.
Pharaoh *
immortal longings
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#6
she ate! and Toula did not see that the servant girl forced herself. she paused in her approach, a small smile. her request could wait!
and when it seemed Nazli had finished, Toula pulled the things that remained and asked again, could you arrange this in a way that is appealing to the eye? …as though I were having guests! she prompted, smiling softly.
how could she bring happiness to Nazli? Toula searched her face to see if it was truly the work she did that brought her pleasure, satisfaction!
Loner

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#7
Oh! She had been so focused on the meal, she had failed to follow through with the request. Nazli felt the familiar warmth to her throat and face, as if she were a child again, learning things anew. As if she had not devoted so much of herself to Akashingo!
She hurried, tidying the remains so that it was more appealing. After trying it one way, she squinted at them, then fixed one corner, and tugged at another. It was frustrating more than anything - but Nazli knew not to let that show; she finished, and looked shyly to Toula for confirmation.
Was this good enough?
Pharaoh *
immortal longings
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#8
Toula delighted in watching the girl work. she had such a way about her that the princess had not the words for! but Toula found the lavender girl a pleasure to observe, though this could be due to not noting the frustrations present.
she attributed the lapse beforehand to weakness and fatigue brought on by hunger. but the work Toula looked upon afterward revealed none of that, and Toula gasped at the shapes made of scraps. how do you do it! she marveled, bright eyes turning to the young beauty, if ever there were a head to all fellahin, it ought to be you. you have such talent in all that you do! Toula could imagine Nazli teaching the younger servant girls such things, to improve upon their work too. 
Toula was a dreamer, but some dreams she would see come true. do you think you could shape the meats and things to… to look like a flower? an activity for her mind, again to distract and to place the girl in a better state of mind than she had begun. but Toula was concerned for her recovery, so thoughtfully added, unless you are too tired! then, she would prefer that she rested!
Loner

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#9
this is mostly rambling idk wtf this is tbh

As pleased as the princess Toula appeared, she asked for more.
Nazli was surprised by the complimentary way she spoke! It felt misplaced, this praise. What had Nazli ever done but what was asked of her, and caused such turmoil as a result? How could she be considered as the head of anything - she who had always been guided, always been the submissive. She thought immediately of the many faces in her life she adored and went beyond that, to consider who might respect her enough, who might follow her lead, and came up empty. That is to say, she felt empty overall; ill at the very idea of being in control of anything, given that she lacked control over anything!
It was a kindness. It was only an idea. Something fanciful to make her feel good, from the mouth of the princess who did not know better. That was how she reasoned it.
The girl's request brought a momentary concentration to Nazli, who nodded, and began to arrange the things again. She laid the widest edge of some pieces together to form petals, and moved things around to form a stem, some reeds, and the like, spiraling the design together without much time at all.
It was not hard because it was commonplace. The fellahin often decorated the palace for the holy royals, and making this effort with a plate of food seemed easy enough. It took her mind off of things for a moment.
That moment ended, and Nazli breathed a sigh; she knew the girl was only trying to help.
Thank you. For... spending your time with me. It really isn't necessary, she was hasty to add this part, and blushed, looking down at her work. —and I know things have been very... hard, lately. You are kind, and sweet, holy one.
If only the rest of her family had been -- no, do not think of what could have been. Those days are over, Nazli thought sharply to herself. Now is the time of Makono, and by virtue of that, they are already better than they were.
Pharaoh *
immortal longings
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#10
the arrangement made was most lovely. Toula was awed again by the girls talent! and when Nazli spoke Toula’s smile grew softer. 
I want to, she answered gently and in earnest. though the details of all Nazli endured had not been shared with her, Toula knew what mattered most to her was simply that Nazli was well again. she was a bright spot within this palace, Toula thought! 
Toula swallowed hard at the mention of things being difficult. she laughed softly when she felt she had been quiet for too long. I miss him everyday, she lamented. but this moment and these hours were not about her! 
and she was not ready to speak! what would you like to do today? she prompted instead.
Loner

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#11
She did not like to see anyone hurt. Least of all, the young amiirad, who had lost so much! Nazli could not fathom loss in any real, deep sense. She could empathize to a degree, and imagine what it might be like to lose someone of great importance - as she had lost a pharaoh also - but she had never lost a father, as she had never had one to begin with.
To think further on it, Nazli's recent struggles also meant that the last of Ramesses' was gone from her womb, too. She did not know the specifics, she did not have the knowlege of how any of this worked - only that she had been very ill, and very fat, and then there had been the blood.
That was Toula's loss, as well. More to her bloodline. It was a possibility that Nazli could only barely comprehend without wanting to curl up in bed and sleep forever.
What would you like to do today?
The weight of her thoughts paled before the kindess of Toula.
I... I do not know, she blinked and looked at the food arrangement. Perhaps only sleep? Tavina keeps close watch on me. She glanced to the shelves of Tavina's things, weary. She is adamant I rest as much as I can.