Redhawk Caldera Then you wait to find it's a winding road

only if you want <3 and have time

Even after all of these years, and so many experiences of her own to bear, Maia felt useless in the face of loss. She never knew what the right approach to take was and drove herself mad, it felt, trying to decide what words were useful and how much concern was welcome.

She would never be happy with it, but regardless, @Teya at least needed to know she was there.

She and Eljay had tried to make sure she had enough to eat, at least, and someone to distract the children when she needed time. Now Maia approached with nothing but the intention to listen. She just wasn’t sure her friend was ready to talk.

She would approach quietly when she found her and offer a quiet invitation. She didn’t mind if Teya turned it down; it wasn’t as if Maia was equipped to fix a hole as large as this. Not even time could do that - something she knew well by now.

always <333

was she healing? teya didn't know. days became nights became days. she tended her children and comforted them as she could. she patrolled. she hunted. she went through the empty processes of normalcy and lay awake at night in a den hardly smelled of her mate.
she was alone.
the loneliness ate at her as water upon stone. any progress she had made diminished and fell back into long silences and refusal to consume meals.
she walked.
she hunted.
she cried.
maia found her during one of those times. teya wanted to stop, to retreat into herself where it was far safer, but the sight of her friend sent the raven into fresh paroxysms of grief and ripping sobs that wouldn't stop no matter what she wished. "i think i kill men," teya laughed, incredulous, shocked, horrified by her loss.

At the end of the day, Maia was a mother through and through. There was only one response she could have when Teya broke down in sobs in front of her. She immediately swept in to comfort her, moving in to embrace the other woman as she shook her head.

None of this was her fault, but saying that felt so unnecessary. Of course Teya knew that. But for a second time, in half as many years, she was forced to bury a man she’d loved. The father of her children. Maia couldn’t even comprehend it and shied away at trying. Just thinking of herself in those paw steps, just thinking of Eljay gone, paralyzed her.

I’m sorry. That was stupid too, wasn’t it? Maybe the problem was that there were no good things to say. This was never meant to happen in the first place. Of course nothing good could come from it.

it was everything. it could change nothing and yet teya saw herself seen. 
there was nothing maia could say. she hadn't lost a husband. eljay was still alive. ageing, as they all were, but alive. vital. her kids could see him. he was tangible. incarnate.
teya had two graves and more in her heart.
she settled next to her friend and let their shoulders touch. "i not think i want to lead anymore, maia. i — been trying to step down since bronco died," she admitted, voice tight and then slackening. "can't do it. tired."

Maia settled in alongside her and lent whatever support Teya would take. She was quiet as she listened, and immediately she understood. There was no reason for her to argue with Teya when she understood, deeply, what led to such a decision. She’d stepped down after Wraen for all of the same reasons.

I didn’t want to assume, but I should have asked sooner. Maia replied softly, after a moment’s silence. I can take it. If you want to stay a Raven, it’s yours, but I understand if you need a break from all of it. She hadn’t been able to handle any of it. She guessed Teya’s situation to be similar.

relief was like a choking deluge; teya nodded quickly. "just — need help. yeah? for a little bit. if you come, i not step down."
she swallowed hard. "dwin suggested we relocate. i not know why, but — maybe it needed. or maybe i just need time to look, even if we not move."
time outside. time to herself. she glanced at maia now, fearing she would overburden the other woman by asking for too much.

Maia nodded, mirroring Teya's response. She was silently grateful that Teya wouldn't be stepping down completely, but she would have done her best to guide things alone if it was what the other woman needed. Leading alone was not something she looked forward to experiencing if she wasn't forced to.

The next revelation surprised her considerably, though. Why would Ceridwen think they needed to leave? And Teya seemed to feel similarly? Maia paused a moment before answering, feeling the familiar sensation of anxiety deep in her stomach. She didn't want to betray that when she answered.

I don't know if Eljay would be willing to leave. Not unless it was necessary. She answered, looking down uncertainly. She hated even to think of what would happen if it became necessary. How would she even begin that conversation with him? It would break his heart. And who knows... but she refused to even finish the thought. She couldn't.

It never hurts to look. If you need to get away. I'm always happy to keep an eye on things here. Even if they didn't move, she understood needing distance and space. Their kids were all old enough that, for the most part, they needed little oversight.

"and i not want eljay to leave either," teya murmured, wanting to reassure maia that she did not intend to uproot the entire pack because of her own sorrow.
maia suggested something next that perhaps teya had needed to hear, that it was all right for her to leave for a bit and take some time.
guilt tinged the relief, but only the latter was in her eyes when teya looked toward maia again. "i think i will go, for a few days. up toward the sea."

It might be selfish of her, but Maia was relieved that Teya seemed to understand. This place didn’t mean as much to her as it did her husband, but knowing how much he loved it, it was hard to imagine ever leaving. Teya wasn’t tied in the same ways she was, but it was also hard to imagine Brecheliant without her.

Maia nodded and smiled. Of course. I’ll tell Eljay, and we’ll make sure the kids have everything they need. Just… travel safely. The shore’s a beautiful place, even this time of year. She hadn’t been in years, but the thought of it brought back memories. Last time she’d been that way had been with Wraen and Arcturus, hadn’t it? Just before coming back and being injured near the Caldera. Just before everything in her life changed entirely. I’ll be happy to hear about it, when you come back.

Maia wouldn’t keep her here, if there wasn’t anything else to say. She truly hoped the space brought Teya the peace she needed. Maia would give her a last nuzzle of support before leaving, if the conversation had reached its close, silently wishing her luck and good fortune on her travels. There were so many examples of stories where the hero found themselves out on the journey ahead. Maybe Teya could be one of them.

can be the last!