Noctisardor Bypass Let Me Introduce You To The New Me

@Suzu

Etienne knew his sister was near. She always was. She had promised to stay and so stay she had. He had told himself mere hours that it was time to strike the mountain boy from his heart and it was with determined air he sought out his sister.

He felt guilty he had promised Druid he would be here, but he needed a break. And they had no threat hanging over them at the moment. With others going after Glaukos.

Suzu. I be wantin' to go 'ome. At least for a bit.

He shook under her gaze and there was a huge pain in his chest and he wanted to cry.

I need to forget. Rid myself of dis. he motioned at his chest unsure what else to say.

He shuddered and closed his golden eyes. He needed to find a middle ground where he could exist as both Heda's friend and Anselms and not want more.

Will you please take me 'ome, Suzu?

Rivenwood felt alien to her- and while she enjoyed getting to see Heda again, she felt the disconnect without understanding what had caused it. The pack was not family as Sapphique was- and she longed for that bond. 

Here, though, there was Etienne- who looked physically and emotionally spent. While he was the more empathetic wolf of the two of them, Suzu felt his pain- and wanted to strip it from him.

She leaned against him and breathed into his fur. ”Den we will go home.” She said, flooded with relief.

There was disconnect because no one was honest. Feelings were hidden. Words were left unspoken. And darkness had tread among the people. Etienne understood this. And there was a deep seated rage at Heda, rage she didn't deserve from the sea born.

Etienne had never felt so tired. Even when his granmes had passed on and he had run. Even when he had fought so hard to keep the hollow healthy. Nothing prepared him for the exhaustion that unrequited love would bring. Nothing.


Shaky limbs wound around his sister. He spoke soflty into her fur. I will only stay until I can be around 'eda and Anselm witout 'urting. 'E 'as c'osen 'er and 'er wants 'im and i will not break dat. No matter how terrible it 'urts and it 'urts so bad Suzu. Even if de say it is not true. I 'ave eyes and nose.

He took another breath and dipped his head. I will tell Druid, but I cannot face 'eda or Anselm or de babies. De will not understan.

She listened carefully, eyes widening at truths which shocked her to learn. She clutched her brother close so he might not see the emotions that she could not hide. That Etienne had feelings for Anselm was no surprise- and she felt both grateful and warmed to know he could confide in her this way- but Anselm and Heda?!

It was a shock. Of course, she knew Heda well enough to know that she was a desirable woman; motherly, warm, welcoming…But she realized that she had perhaps leapt to assumptions about Etienne and Anselm, which now proved to be false. 

She could not imagine Anselm and Heda together- it was tough enough to imagine someone as bristly and grumpy as Anselm with anyone, but he’d stuck around with Etienne long enough for her to see something of a connection there. 

Of course, there was one more thing to consider. Heda’s children. If they were Anselm’s, she dared not ask- for fear that admitting the fact might hurt her brother even more.

”Oh Eti, I am so sorry,” She breathed. ”My Eti…I t’ought for sure ‘e ‘ad feelings for you, an’ I did not like ‘im at first, but I saw ‘ow you cared for ‘im…” She’d been willing to overlook his flaws, so long as he made Etienne happy. It was clear now that he did not. ”I love you,” She promised him. ”We will go ‘ome…An’ dey will manage, an’ I promise you…It will get better wid time.”

Etienne was tired of trying to hide his emotions. His thoughts and feelings. He was tired of being frightened of sharing his secret, especially when he was rather proud of himself. He liked himself. He didn't think he was wrong.

He just knew other people thought so. And in an effort to keep the peace he had hid himself away. And he was tired.

Perhas that was the true wound. Not unrequited love, but fear of inacceptance of his truer nature.

Etienne took a shuddering breath. I don't know 'ow 'e feels about anyone, not really. 'E doesn't care to make us see 'is truer feelings. But dey babies are 'edas an 'is. And dey cannot leave eac' otter alone. And I can't 'andle it. I be a fool Suzu tinkin' dat I could just be 'is friend and 'ers. But I 'ate 'er auzu.

His voice broke on a low whine. An' i 'ate dat i 'ate 'er it isn't fair to 'er. And dey babies dos precious babies. It kills me everytime i look at dem.