Moonspear I don't wanna be sober

It was hard not to dip out and go hunt him down. Fennec wanted nothing more than to go find her brother and beg for his forgiveness, beg him not to hate her for being stupid about things again, and try to figure out some way to make all of this right somehow. She thought about it constantly, but every time she did, she knew she couldn’t. Her tracking him down wouldn’t solve anything if he didn’t want to talk to her. Trying to do it was selfish, and useless, and in the end might just make things worse. She wouldn’t know where to start anyway.

She hated how much it was killing her, knowing the way he felt. Apparently some part of her had counted on him always forgiving her and accepting her bullshit, knowing it wasn’t personal, knowing it was just how she was. She hadn’t thought anything could make a bigger hole than the dreams Germanicus had shattered. She was wrong. Fig’s continued absence was a slow bleed from a gaping tear, one she could physically feel anytime she thought about it. She deserved every bit of this - she’d done it to him first. No wonder he hated her.

She couldn’t fix that and she couldn’t talk about it with anyone who would really understand, but she couldn’t do nothing either. That was why, despite her reservations, she showed up at @Meerkat’s den that morning.

Hey. Can we talk? She didn’t care if they stayed where the kids were. She could hear some amount of activity and knew that Njord had come back recently, though she didn’t know where he’d disappeared to. She hadn’t considered him enough yet to actually bother meeting him - another thing to fix, soon.

But first this.