Sleepy Fox Hollow Where I thought I knew it all before I knew what love was

Sometimes when she was alone and mired in her darker thoughts, Wylla wondered if fighting for Grimnismal would have changed anything. If she hadn't given it over to the sea witch so easily, maybe it would still stand. From the sounds of it, that was unlikely; and anyway, at the time she'd only wanted to end the wretched conversation. Remove from herself the responsibility of trying to be the head of a pack where two vile old wolves thought they could do whatever they pleased. Take it back some other time, perhaps, when she managed to slay one of their babes and show them how serious she was.

It had been Lycaon and Nyx, in the end, who drove her to leave outright.

Well, you should blame me, she said, indignant as always, this time at having her apology brushed off. Mahler had every right to be sad and angry that she left without informing him, since he was the only one besides Ingram who'd really treated her like the leader she fancied she was. He had every right to hate her and she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop; no one could be this forgiving and be real. Some part of him surely held it against her and it was only a matter of time, she thought, before it would come out, regardless how he thought he felt about it. So she didn't want her apology brushed aside or the blame taken from her shoulders; being blamed was the only thing that might appease the roiling of her selfish guilty conscience. I deserve it. My leaving was a necessity but I shouldn't have turned my anger over it on you. I didn't know.

Now she did snort a solemn laugh into the air, mirthless and unsure. Revealing this and prying an apology from her lips hadn't made her any less ashamed or any less uncomfortable. What now? she asked, tilting back her head to breathe a brief plume into the cold mountain air.