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"Damn, that sucks," Lane said and Meerkat's eyes finally lifted back to her face. She frowned at the astute observation, the expression deepening when the Alpha female tried to put a positive spin on it. Her mother had taken the same approach, trying to tell Meerkat he was a good catch and she'd definitely find a good life with him. But what the hell did Towhee know about love? What did Lane know about it either?

Her jaw clenched and she reminded herself to breathe and not lash out at the Alpha. It was bad enough she'd alienated the other. But when Lane said, "He obviously likes you..." Meerkat could not agree. Okay, sure, Issorartuyok liked her and her merits on paper. But there was nothing romantic about his interest in her. And that's what she wanted. No, that's what she needed, she'd told him so. And wasn't it?

"I don't fucking know anymore," the yearling whispered, Lane's words mixing with Towhee's in her head. "I feel like I'm losing my mind lately," she admitted in the next breath, "trying to make sense of it, trying to decide what to do, trying to decide whose advice to take. But it's my life and I don't want to settle. I—"

Meerkat thought of Atlas, how horribly it had ended and how much she wanted her happily ever after. But was she being an idyllic idiot? Could she be happy with Issorartuyok? Was there a middle ground they might find? Or should she give no quarter and hold out for someone who swept her off her feet and didn't make her feel so doubtful about all of this? Meerkat let out an explosive sigh as her brain cells whirled and crashed into each other.

"And there's a distinct possibility I really am losing my mind, or that I'm not in my right mind, anyway..." Meerkat muttered mysteriously, so quietly Lane might not even hear it.