Noctisardor Bypass faya

"stop, stop," heda cried in a muffled, weak voice, though she fell silent as etienne's impassioned words continued. 
"i would regret — etienne, i would regret raising them with —" with all this! 
she thought of glaukos now, how druid and the others were moving against him, and —
"etienne, it's not something i'd regret," she whispered. "i've spent my — i've spent so much time searching for my other kids, and now i've stopped. i can't abandon them."
her children had a chance to be raised by etienne, who could love them very deeply, and even anselm, who only needed the thorn of her presence removed to understand she was unnecessary.
her heart twisted and wrenched. "it's my choice. and i know you blame me. i'm not-i'm not his lover, etienne," she whispered. "i'm nothing more than a mistake to him."
and there was freedom to say that aloud.