Noctisardor Bypass faya

"no," she said softly, catching her lip between her teeth for a moment as tears fell slowly down her face. "i h-heard you. it's all right. i needed to know." she drew a large breath. "as long as i'm here, i don't think anselm will ever bond with them."
and that hurt to say, less freedom and more a barb to her gut. "my mom did this, you know," she said with an ironic little laugh. "she left me and my brother. someone else raised us. it's not an easy choice, it's not one i'm just — flinging at you."
mahler's abandonment had compounded that of praimfaya. the remains of the cat and the tufts of fur had been what was left of her mother. it hurt, but not nearly as much as mahler turning his back. skaigona as a girl had been able to accept, at least in part, the disappearance of her mother.
nothing else.
if heda did nothing, the wolves outside rivenwood would hunt glaukos down. she didn't know why she cared, only that she did, truly did; she did not believe the father of druid's children needed to die. he needed to be warned and dragged out of the valley. it was traitorous! it was what she wanted. there had been enough bloodiness.
"the longer i wait, the more they'll remember. i don't need you to look for anyone else. i n-need you to help me this way. if you could love them, so could he. but i don't want to live between you, not anymore. you've done so much for me. i can't ask for more. i w-won't accept you going off to search, etienne; if you really want to help me, then h-help anselm accept them. it doesn't matter what he thinks about — it doesn't matter. he'll be here to raise them."
he'd be here as long as etienne was. he'd be here as long as mahler's father-wound of abandonment reminded him of the man he could be.
the clock the clock the clock — heda did not know it but she was in the middle of a perfectly logical, modulated breakdown, her repressions bursting forth and creating a reality in which some equitable middle ground could be found with the least trauma to a mind already strained.