Noctisardor Bypass What would I ever do with a rose?

Anselm sat in the den, feeling like a fish out of water. This was @Heda and @Druid’s territory — there was something distinctly maternal about the closing walls that seemed to forbid his presence. 

Anselm wondered after Heda, and could not help but ask himself if her sudden departure had anything to do with what she witnessed in the ruinwood. He didn’t want to care what she thought of it all - his heart still singed from Etienne’s outburst. 

He watched @Ezra and @Gideon play, present in person her mind a thousand miles away. They were at the the age now that they would soon learn independence. He remembered his own brother and smiled to himself; a smile that extinguished to nothingness as he remembered Emmerich was no longer part of his life. 

Anselm wanted to be a good father — he just didn’t know how. His interactions with the kids were stilted and uncomfortable. He hated himself for it. He hated feeling out of place, inadequate, and worst of all, he hated how he could not systematically deconstruct the walls he’d so carefully built stone by stone — and everyone else paid for it. 

His mind wandered as the puppies milled about him. He refused to think about Etienne — or tried not to, anyway — unwilling to revisit the fresh scar from their most recent encounter. He worked the uncomfortable ball in the back of his throat, wondering if Druid was nearby and if she’d caught wind of the sudden upset in Rivenwood.