Redsand Canyon I got a hankering for four wide tires

She didn't enjoy hurting him. But she finally understood, a little, what he meant. It was a completely different concept of marriage from what she'd been raised to believe mateship was. She'd never experienced something permanent like the thing he spoke about.

Believe it or not, I don't want to destroy what you had. Fennec replied after a moment. She had her sightless gaze trained distantly at the ground, shoulders slightly tensed. Fennec hadn't ever gotten to know her 'aunt' all that well, and they'd clashed more often than not. Ruenna had never seemed interested in understanding the why behind her behavior. Germanicus at least seemed willing to provide the space for it. Still, she'd never hated her, and sshe knew her mom's feelings too. All of it just complicated things more.

And I didn't mean to imply that you failed. Just that she failed you in what I think this is supposed to be. Fennec knew she needed to explain. I've been left more than once, and every time they told me it was for my own good, when really they just didn't want to try. They assumed I couldn't help with whatever it was that was wrong, and they knew that leaving was easier. She'd left too... but that was before. After she never had. Nothing feels worse than having someone assume you're worthless without giving the chance to prove you aren't. I want to make sure you don't give up so easily.

This was the most she'd ever spoken to anyone about this, and the deepest she'd ever delved into these insecurities she carried. It wasn't a comfortable place for her to be but it also felt necessary. She wished she could have found the words to say these things - perhaps everything would have been different. But with Bronco, arguments had always intensified, and especially towards the end, she had never felt heard. Nothing would have changed. Germanicus was a different kind of man.

To me, this is a partnership. That means sharing our problems, and the things we feel, and working through them. Especially if it's something that affects the way we are towards each other. No matter how upsetting, or insulting, we think those problems might be. I don't give a shit about your pride when it's just the two of us... or mine. I care about knowing what's going on so I'm not left wondering what I did wrong.

Ruenna had never seen her as a healer any more than Germanicus, but Fennec could have tried if they'd asked. She'd have exhausted the wilds altogether before ever telling someone she loved that they weren't enough to help. Germanicus was closed off, but Fennec wondered if that extended to things between them. This conversation was already revealing for them both.

Another thought stilled her, making her fall silent. How many times had she regretted forcing Bronco to stay, despite the love they confessed for each other? But in that moment she knew, clearly, that if she was presented the same choice she'd have chosen the exact same even now. Fennec just couldn't bring herself not to fight for the things she cared about. Even if that meant she eventually destroyed them.