Moonspear I don't wanna be sober

She had to actively fight against the urge to shut the whole thing down and walk away anyway. The perceived rejection from earlier hung over and initiated the self-destructive urge. Even just a few months ago, she might have done it.

She knew she was her own worst enemy, and the fact that she had few/no friends to call her own had pressed itself into her mind in a way that was hard to shake. She couldn't keep pushing everyone away. It didn't need to be all or nothing; something was better.

Fennec had to take a moment before turning back around, silently slightly choked on what to say. Now she was distinctly uncomfortable. She hadn't asked for this, had no reason to believe this was pity, but she'd revealed enough that she could feel the prospect of Meerkat's judgement on her. What was wrong with her? She used to be normal about this shit. Having no or few friends never used to be an issue - she'd fuck with people constantly for fun. Now she didn't even know what to say in a conversation about fucking hobbies.

Fuck. She said softly, then turned to at least better face Meerkat. Sorry. I don't have any right now. I need to find some new ones. She wouldn't pick up gardening again. She refused.