Rattleskin Redoubt mandatum

germanicus julius caesar did not look back as he and his children left the hamstrung woman behind.

he was implacable, cold, hewn from iron. he was back upon the battlefield and those who moved with him were his fellows, a sea of bristling fur and honed flesh. all, and every man, ready to be sacrificed for an emperor who did not even know their names.

the spires reminded him too vividly of akashingo, but it was a place to regroup. 

cornelius had departed.

aquillius struggled with the demon that sat upon his spine unseen.

a heavy breath extended from their father as he now looked to @Valiria. "did cornelius exhibit such malady when you were with him?" he asked as the sun grew toward another noon.

Valiria followed. She wanted to walk alongside her father as they departed, hold her head just as high as he held his. His trusted soldier. Beloved, esteemed daughter. She felt more like a reprimanded pup as she held herself low, overruled and unappreciated for the risk she had taken trying to save him from the crazed beast that had demanded his life. As though by saving him, she had done wrong.

Her brothers had come along, following as she did until they each went their own ways to deal with their thoughts. Liri had considered it, but that would've meant leaving Germanicus on his own. What if the woman came back? Would her presence even matter? Her father apparently would do as he wished, heedless of the thoughts and opinions of his children.

But wasn't that right? He was Imperator.

But he was her father.

An ear flicked in Germanicus's direction as he spoke. She furrowed her brow thoughtfully as she turned to look at him. "Malady?" she repeated, not understanding, "We've been together for only a few days. I know of no malady he suffers."

"aquillius is not well." and he had encouraged it! the witch-killing, the blood-letting. consumed by guilt and grief, once more germanicus found himself turned so far inside that valiria's plight went unaddressed.

and yet he felt soon, as the silence grew again, he must say something.

imperator. father.

father.

"you were very brave and controlled the situation well," germanicus said, turning his yellowpaint eyes upon her. 

and in that moment he searched for some part of ruenna.

"i am sorry." for it all. for what had happened. for his absence. for nothing definable. 

he trudged on.

Her father spoke again, confirming something if Aquillius that had been fairly obvious. She would not soon forget her brother’s ravings.

Valiria had expected to be pleased by her father’s compliment, but she merely nodded. His apology struck something in her. She warred with herself to hold her tongue. A good soldier would. But… perhaps, not a daughter.

”I came home to Mereo,” Liri said quietly, her voice calm but for a small tremor of emotion, ”It was gone. No trace of the pack, only strangers who escorted me out as though I did not belong. I went to Epoch and not even they could tell me where you’d gone. I searched. For months. You were gone.”

She did not look at him as she spoke, merely stared off at some point in the horizon. Remembering.

valiria, a woman who had not seen a girlish day in her life.

germanicus felt keenly the sting of that particular disappointment, though he could not experience its loss on her behalf.

"i remarried after your mother left with all of you," he said quietly. "you were too young to recall perhaps, but she did not intend to return, and ended our marriage that day."

and so he had not waited in vain hope.

he had not waited at all.

"it was too hasty and i was not honest with who i have become. when that relationship ended, so did mereo. i did not return to the sunspire for a long time."

no excuses. only an explanation.

His answer made anger boil in her belly, though she did not outwardly show it but for the stiffening of her shoulders. Did he think that sufficient? Had he even heard her? She had been abandoned, spent weeks and weeks on her own searching with little hope to guide her. He could have sent word to her. He could’ve left word with their allies. But no, all he could say was his marriage had fallen apart and he’d decided the casualty would be the only real home she’d ever known, and to leave her searching, fearing the worst.

Did he even care?

Did it even matter to him at all?

Valiria looked at him finally. She softened almost instantly.

This was not a man who didn’t care. This was a man with far too many cares. He was just trying not to drown in them.

What did their past wrongs matter anyway?

”What now?” she asked finally, letting all the rest go.

she had searched! she had looked! he had not been there!

in hoarseness he almost turned, only in time to see her profile and hear the quiet question.

germanicus did not know. on his list of failings, not knowing had ranked far lower until this moment. he did not know. he understood only the sand beneath his paws, the neverending keen of a desert wind.

"i need to formally end my time in the pack, kvarsheim. i am a hunter there. but the story you heard from her is known in the valley. my time there must be done."

first.

second.

"your brothers and you and i should find a place for winter. do you wish to go back to the canyon, valiria?"

Valiria nodded in understanding. It was right to tell his current pack he would be leaving. She took it as a sign of growth, and perhaps of remorse that he hadn’t done so with Mereo and saved her so much hardship. She held her tongue on the subject, focusing on the next instead.

”The strange man with the idiot’s tongue and his harem may still be in the canyon,” Liri said, not exactly a ‘no’ but not a ‘yes’ either.

"i passed by in the late spring and they were gone at that time."

germanicus did not want to evince more weakness before valiria than she had already witnessed from him.

her even tone was a sign of her intense poise, but the eagle found himself lamenting that she had never been a girl.

was this the lot of every son and every daughter born to a barracks?

"do not go to epoch again. they too are enemies." and there he could not at all elaborate unless he spoke the name of arsenio.

They hadn't lasted long, then. Valiria was bitterly gratified to hear it. They had been good enough not to attack her, but she still resented them for being there at all.

Her eyes narrowed slightly as she looked back at her father when he spoke of Epoch. They were enemies? "What happened?" she asked, "They were kind to me. I was weak and sick and they took me in." She, of course, had bailed on them without a word—poor repayment for their charity. But that was besides the point.

"epoch has many kindnesses. the mercenary that was mentioned once lived there."

valiria knew everything else, why not this? look at what he had lost. look at how arsenio had never once suffered for a sin shared between them.

resentment burned inside germanicus but he did not give it voice or vent.

"it is best for the name of redsand to stay from the sunspire. for now."

he tasted the air. "but i do not care to stay in the desert."

Valiria said nothing, but it seemed her father had a talent for making enemies. She watched him silently, thoughtful.

She shook her head in agreement. She thought of the coyotes that pretended to be wolves, the snake woman and her dogs. Perhaps her father wasn't the only one good at making enemies.

"Where then?" she asked. It made no real difference to her. She simply wanted to start again, find a life that gave her purpose.

a silence.

a breath.

"i will ask each of you. we will reconvene when i have an answer."

his eyes were upon her now. "learn the desert. we may return one day."

for now, his thoughts were as her own.

a home.

a future he must now hold together for his children.

Valiria nodded her acceptance of both the plan and the command. There wasn't too much more for her to learn of the desert, having loitered there for some time now. She wasn't in the mood to debate. She wasn't in the mood for much of anything after the ordeal they'd just experienced.

Without a word, Liri stood and set off into the Wilds, intent on hunting to work off some of those pesky feelings that were lingering from the day's drama. She would find her father again later. Now that he was within her reach, she was determined to keep him there.