Sun Mote Copse Palm Trees in the Snow

@Elwood 

There was a particular gentleman in the ranks that Wraen was very keen to meet, but never got the occasion to do so. Elwood - it seemed to her - was a man that was right in the middle of the family web he and Finley had woven together and with so many strings to watch and that were pulled in different direction, there never was a right moment for her to approach and talk.

She remembered fondly the kind gentleman, who had met her at Redhawk caldera and shared family history with her. And, though she would not admit it to anyone, she had a bit of crush on him. A truly innocent, sweet and entirely platonic one (for those, who might worry). The Blackthorn patriarch reminded her a bit of her own father and in the light of the news about his demise, her need to talk with Elwood just once was greater than ever. 

So, you can easily imagine, when on a sunny afternoon she stumbled upon the main man of this story on his own for the time being and seemingly not too busy. "Hey!" Wraen greeted him with a wagging tail and friendly smile, closing the distance between them. "Never got to say a proper "hello" after you joined. Do you remember me, sir?" she asked, tilting her head to the side, regarding him with stars in her eyes.

Assumed some things, PM me, please, if they have to be editted.

When Wildfire had first told him about her fledgling pack and its new pledges, Elwood had recognized Wraen's name. He had only met her once previously, when she visited Redhawk Caldera, and somehow in their time with the Firebirds they had not yet officially crossed paths. He suspected it was because she was a busy, contributing member of the pack -- while he, as a retiree, had much less on his plate.

He was traipsing through the copse with no real destination in mind when he heard a voice behind him -- and turned to find that it was the aforementioned Wraen. He smiled as she approached, nodding his head in recognition. "Of course I remember you -- it's good to see you," he said with a wave of his tail. "How do you like living with the Firebirds?" he asked; this question would likely preface more queries about how she had come to find herself with Wildfire and company when she had once been a part of Rannoch and Liffey's pack.

Wraen was met with cordiality and she beamed at Elwood as a kid, who has just got ice-cream from her favourite uncle. You don't need much to make one happy. The old man had not changed much, since she had seen him last, though on the second glance she might notice the lines and colours advancing age had added to the Blackthorn patriarch's picture. 

"I am fine - thank you," she replied, having nothing really to complain about. Life was good, safe and stable and she had her best friend by her side at all times. There was little else she would have wished for. "People are nice, though I need more time to get to know each of them personally," she explained. "How about you? You did not move far from Redhawks, but it was a move still?" she asked, wondering, what had prompted Elwood and Finley uproot, after they had been the very heart and soul of the Redhawks for most of their lives.

Elwood nodded his head as he considered Wraen's response. Although he had many family members living alongside him, there were still others here that he was only acquainted with and would get to know over time. From his own experience with Wraen, he thought she would not have any trouble familiarizing herself with all of her packmates; she was friendly, kind, and inquisitive, which made her quite easy to talk to.

"Yes, it was still a change to come here from the plateau," he agreed in reply to her query about his own transition. He had kin in both packs, and he and Finley could have stayed with Raven and Quixote and the Redhawks, but they had considered their options long and hard before following Wildfire and Eljay. "Part of the reason we came here was to set an example for our kids -- to show them that they could make their own choices about where they want to live and who they want to be. Even though Eljay and Clover are here, some of our other children stayed with the Redhawks," he explained.

"I find that wonderful," Wraen agreed with Elwood's view of having a free choice in life. She could relate to her own parents, who had been sad to see their kids go out in the world, but had never discouraged it. Both of them had had a significant traveling history before they had met each other and started a family, they had related to and understood the thirst of knowledge and adventure in their children.

"Not all packs are the same. I was once part of Moonspear and they are very... how to put it correctly..." she paused, trying to come up with a proper description so that it would in no way insult her former leaders. "They did not look kindly upon those, who chose to leave. Whatever the reason. That's why I like Wildfire's laid-back approach to this. You do not feel pressured to stay, you have always a choice."

Elwood and Finley had learned a lot about parenting since Eljay's childhood. Their helicopter tactics were likely what had caused him to grow up to be such a nervous, second-guessing wolf. The differences between him and the later litters of Blackthorns were glaring, though, and this was why moving themselves to the Firebirds had seemed to be the best choice for the parents.

As Wraen mused aloud about the differences between packs, Elwood nodded. Here in the Teekons, he had only been with the Redhawk family; and while he hadn't physically been a part of any other local group, it was often easy to see that each unit had its own rules, rites, and routines. His lips pursed and twitched in a small smile at the mention of Moonspear. He knew of them from Wildfire -- and had even briefly encountered Charon, who was kind of a jerk -- but he agreed with Wraen in that he preferred the more "laid-back approach" himself.

"It's nice to have a choice. Things happen that are out of our control sometimes, and when I was an Alpha, my mindset was similar to Wildfire's -- it seemed silly to hold a grudge against someone for leaving," he said.

"Alphing is hard work," Wraen picked up the small detail Elwood had provided in his speech. "I was a leader alongside my brother and a good friend for half a year and - looking back - I regret so many things I could have done differently," she told with a resigned sigh. "At times it's hard to believe that me before that, me then and me now are the same people. Especially if that person in the middle was such a... flawed person," and that's where her resolution never to be a leader again stemmed from. She had tried and she had failed. 

"How did you two fare, when you led the Redhawks?" she asked then, being done with reminiscing about time in her life she was not particularly proud of.

Wraen's reflections were quite introspective, and Elwood found himself considering the parallels between her leadership journey and his own. He had never intended to be a leader, but it had been a natural progression once he joined the Redhawks and he had learned much along the way. There were things he would go back and tell his younger self, if he had the chance, and perhaps decisions that he would have made differently. While there wasn't anything that either of them could do to truly change the past, they could take what they had gleaned and apply it to their lives going forward; Wraen seemed to be well on her way.

"Leadership is hard, and sometimes it just comes down to making the best decision that you can with what you have -- even if, looking back, you would change things," he said with a thoughtful nod of his head. She had asked more specifically about his own time as Alpha, and he smiled as he considered his response. "I think I could say the same as you -- sometimes it's hard to believe that I'm the same wolf as I was all those years ago. Of course, there were plenty of issues that Fin and I had to deal with when we were in charge, some bigger than others," he said, thinking of the small skirmishes as well as the most difficult obstacle they had encountered, which was likely the war with Blackfeather. "But I think we did what we could with what we had, and tried to keep the best interests of the pack at heart," he surmised.

Finding out that even this experienced leader had made mistakes in his time was comforting to Wraen. Because with only her parents and sister as role models she had idolized the role of alpha, had seen them more as extraordinary and flawless (not so much in Sarah's case) and subconsciously assumed that this was, how leadership should work. Without mistakes. And maybe this false assumption was all that made the difference between considering an experience as a complete failure or taking it as valuable life lesson. Elwood was at peace with his past rule and she should stop blaming herself for all the wrongs done and be at peace. 

"Thank you for sharing this. It made me feel better," she smiled at the old gentleman sincerely. "Best interests for all, I think, are not that easy to cover? Each thinks that they know best."

He was glad to hear that his words had been reassuring to her. Leadership wasn't easy, but it was rewarding, and he hoped that she would be able to look back on her past experience without being too hard on herself. It is hard, and even when you try to take everything into account, you might still upset some people, he added with a shrug of his shoulders.

I wouldn't want to be a leader anymore at this point in my life, he said, but I kind of think now would be the time -- just because things don't bother me as much at this age. He chuckled. He was joking, but there was truth to his words. Tell me more about your time in leadership, he invited with an inquisitive glance at Wraen.

"It's a long story, but I will try to be brief, where it's possible," Wraen explained, fell silent for a while, going over all of the details in her head and picking out the ones that mattered the most. "I was offered a place among then leaders of Sunspire - my brother Terance, Rannoch, Liffey - not too long after we had left Moonspear. The latter two had not really felt safe among the Ostregas and there were some differences in opinion and some clashing personalities and we left, hoping to start something entirely new and be better than, what we left behind," she paused, having summed up all of the tumultous leaving process that had lasted a week or so.

"I was thrilled in the beginning, I thought I could prove a point to my former leaders that I am better than them and that I could make a difference. That I could do no wrong, because... well, you do realize, where this is going?" she asked with a rueful smile.  "Anyway I was on the wave for a while and then first crashes came along. Rannoch and Liffey wanted to have puppies, Terance had been charmed by a mysterious stranger and she too was expecting. And then there was a she-wolf, who had joined our group already pregnant. I was concerned about the number of kids that were going to be in our care and how there weren't enough adults or resources to provide them. I could have voiced my opinion in a polite and mature way, but I lashed out at Terance, when he came to share the good news about his family. And we were on the rocks ever since," she said, now with a very guilty look in her eyes. 

"There were some other issues with Moonspear wolves that did not improve our relationship. Then by the mid-summer we had outlived the resources of the mountain and all I recall from that time is being constantly on the move, hunting, bringing back food, sleeping, hunting again. To top that Terance's family collapsed, his girlfriend left him with his kids in tow, and so did the she-wolf, who had been pregnant at the time of joining. And it felt so, so unfair at that point, because I and the rest had worked so hard to feed all of them and now they simply got up and left,"  she had fixed her issues with Seabreeze months later, but it did not change the fact that it had hurt her very deeply. 

"And then, when the pack decided to leave, I realized that I could not go on like this. I was tired, I was burnt out and I had a feeling that me and Terance will be on better terms, if we did not live together anymore," she still stood by her belief. She was happier and she probably never burdened her brother's mind either. "Wasn't so short after all," she finished, looking up hopefully at Elwood and waiting to hear the wise man's verdict.

He listened patiently as Wraen described the details he had asked for. It was especially interesting to him because her story included members of his own family, and he smiled faintly at the mention of Liffey and Rannoch. His pleasant expression sobered, however, as Wraen continued and spoke at length about Moonspear, her concerns with the pack providing resources for too many puppies, and troubles with her brother.

Thinking back to Wraen’s previous comment about regretting the way she had handled things, Elwood could see why she felt that way. However, it sounded like she and the other leaders had been under a tremendous amount of stress from different sources. Even the best wolves sometimes snapped under pressure, he reflected.

That is a lot to deal with as a leader, he said. You know what, though? It sounds like you made the most mature decision of them all; it can be especially difficult to recognize when it’s time to step down from leadership, but you were able to see that it wasn’t making you happy. I think that’s commendable, he added.

"You really think so?" Wraen asked hopefully and for a moment there she looked younger than her years and very vulnerable. Though leaving had turned out the best decision she had made for herself, she would be lying, if she declared that there was no guilt mixed in there as well. Terance had been hurt on many occasions that year and she had felt bad for - let's put it like this - beating someone, who had already been lying on the ground. 

But telling everything to Elwood had made her feel just the same as she would have opened her heart to her own father. His opinion mattered and his simple conclusion and agreement that she had done, what had been best for her, was relieving. Here and then she was finally able to put the matter to rest and move on. "Thanks, that helped," she told him with a sincere smile.

I really think so, he confirmed. He could tell that his input was helpful, and not just because she expressed her gratitude. There was relief in her smile, and he was glad to have eased her worries even a little.

All of the talk of the past stirred up a bit of curiosity about Wraen’s future. Elwood knew that he and Fin planned to stay with the Firebirds for the foreseeable future — maybe even for the rest of their days. But what were Wraen’s plans? Do you see yourself staying here long term? he asked.

Wraen had not given much thought about her long-term plans at Firebirds. She had joined them out of dire need to survive and had stayed, because she felt whole and at ease among these people. There were no domineering personalities like Ostregas, Treason or her own sister Sarah around that she would feel the need to please and strive for their appreciation.

She had become fond of Eljay and Wildfire, knew that she and Niamh were going to be great friends, was endeared by Finley's and Colt's stories from their youth. The place simply felt right to her and after three packs, which she had opted to leave due to a feeling that she did not fit there, she was in no haste to go now. "I am in a comfortable place at this point- I don't think that I will be going anywhere in the near future," she answered truthfully. "But I have learned that both "never" and "forever" are fickle terms. I don't know, what will future bring and therefore I can't say for sure that you will find me here this time next year or on my deathbead."

Similar to everything else Wraen had said, Elwood found himself contemplating and agreeing with her words. She was quite wise for her age -- granted, it wasn't like she was a yearling, but she seemed to have learned a lot in her short few years and spoke thoughtfully and articulately about her experiences and opinions.

"That's true," he said, "and I think a good mindset to have about life in general. And if for some reason you end up heading elsewhere, you know that Wildfire -- and the rest of the pack -- will support you in your decision." He referenced her previous reflection on Wildfire's approach to leadership and the comings and goings of packmates.

"That is good to know. Leaving does not always mean a betrayal or that I do not appreciate the people, who have been my friends," Wraen added, happy to know that the sourness about people going away was not a norm everywhere. Oddly enough this was the reason, why she had stayed so long with the Firebirds. There was no obligation to stay, no duty to repay a debt.

"It has been nice talking to you - I have a lot to take away from this conversation and think about," Wraen thanked the wise elder and prepared to leave. She was beginning to feel a little hungry and wondering, whether Maia would be up for a hunt. "I will see, if I can fetch myself a lunch and I will enjoy having such an in-depth talk in the future," she told him, heard his words of farewell and left.

Thank you for the thread! I am wrapping this up, in order to clear my threadlogs and have room for new events.