Shadow Mountain i walked in dark streets to punish myself

the anguish in his shoulder was mounting, the strain of tendon suggesting to merrick that he had torn something, at very least pulled severely some tiny muscle. he could sense that she saw the ripple of pain playing across his countenance, and loathed himself for his weakness.
but more than that, merrick realized she’d paused because she saw what nunataq had seen, an expression that was at once both burning and empty. careful. a prey animal aware of the carnage even a wounded predator could do.
running his tongue across the roundness of his teeth, the boy shifted, grunting in pain as he leveled his eyes upon the woman who still had not fled him. ”i don’t know,” merrick answered calmly, the truth. ”something in me is wrong. that’s why i’m here. i had to leave home before ... before i got sicker.” his tone was light, conversational, none of the pulsating  agony edging his words. ”i’m not fit company for anyone. a healer would be wasted. but thank you,” merrick added, ever polite, teeth glinting in the hazy light with a smile that did not chase the tightness from his face.