Swiftcurrent Creek Narrow streets of Cobblestone

The wounds upon his shoulders were healing very well now. They still scabbed and smarted when pulled, but at least they were not festering and awful. Downy black head tilted to the side and large body moved with grace through the territory.  Constant Vigilance.

The girl hadn't left yet, she still lay upon on their land, broken and sad. At least she ate now, and she would drink if they walked her to the river, so that was a good thing. But Arric knew, the longer she stayed. The more chance her people would come looking and when they did. Oh man.

Someone would probably die. He shifted.

felt like tossing him at this!

He was seeking late season supplies, but instead Ashlar had discovered a newly set border. He stood at it politely, but curiously, and wondered if he should call. He was Hælend but there were other ways he could help the Rise. Every pack could use all of the friends it could make. Would he represent them well?

Ashlar hesitated. Perhaps he could work up the courage soon but right now he considered what he would even say.

Oy! I love me some Starr threading :D

Long lean legs tempered with grace, athletisiscm at it's finest, he came upon the diamond in the ruff wolf. Sky blue eyes traced over small athletic form and a kind smile lit them up. Neutrality in his stance, he met the golden eyes with his own skys and spoke, his voice a deep rumble around them.

Hello. You've approached Swiftcurrent Creek. How can I assist you? I'm Arric Du'andris.

Then he waited inky black plume easy behind him, ears erect. It would be nice to have someone to speak with that was not Akavir, or wanted his hide for garters.

Oh.. uh, h.... hello. Ashlar stammered his greeting, but smiled disarmingly and swept his tail in a gentle arc. He wanted to make it clear he was there as a friend and not to make trouble.

I just... are... have you been here? I'm from the Rise. My name's Ashlar. He tried to settle his nerves, and after a breath, realized he hadn't really said why he was here. I thought... I'd introduce us. Well, in a way. If they were going to be near neighbors then he wanted them to be on friendly terms. He hoped he could help that along!

A small smiled hovered around Arric's maw. This wolf was cute. He wanted to tell him to calm himself, take his time, but he felt that would be intrusive and rude. So he simply waited patiently as the other spoke.

Hello. was returned with deep rumble, ear flicked back and then forward again at the questions. He sorted through them, and thought of how to answer. He had no irritation with answering questions, but one must be careful with what knowledge they gave.

For a moon or two now. Yes. Another and I set up a claim here. Well met. Ashlar from the rise.

Arric moved a bit closer and bent to sniff at the other if he'd allow. Gather his scent into him. He smelled of forest and loam, of herbs. A sing song quality to his voice of hushed whispers.

Ashlar was always a little starstruck when faced with wolves of this caliber. Arric was large and imposing, but he spoke as warmly as Prophet might. The fur along his cheeks warmed, and he dipped his muzzle briefly. Words. He had to say something in return!

Ashlar ventured a few sniffs of his own, but timidly. We aren't... I mean, I'm not here for anything important. It's Redtail Rise, that... the one over there. He gestured towards the faint silhouette peeking through the horizon's mist. It's a place of warriors. But I'm... I heal. His ears burned a bit as he looked at the man but couldn't meet his eyes. He'd thought this would go more smoothly, and that he would be sure to make friends with whoever he met! But he had not expected to be faced with a guardian like this, and he wondered if this was a pack of warriors too. His nerves worsened for it, as it meant this conversation might be even more important. Perhaps he'd been silly to think this was a job for him!! Surely Prophet would face this man and become fast friends.

Arric could be as cold as a winter night if he needed, but he had fought for most of his life to stay calm and zen like. It was how he was able to control the blood lust that had reared it's ugly head in generations of his father's, father's, fathers. Arric fought a smile again. This wolf.

Arric followed the gesture with warming gaze. Looking past the horizon, and into the mist. He would need to venture there of course now, meet those that lived among the rise.

Healing? I have deep respect for healers. My father was a warrior and a healer. Whose to say you can't be both, or one or the other. Everyone is needed and everyone should be respected given that what they chose to do. The way I see it. You are just putting the world back together a little from the pain the warriors inflict.

Arric made a soft chur in his throat. I never had much time for those that were simply warriors. There is more to life than that to me. Not that I condemn them their choices, and I fight when I must to protect what I must. I fight well. But well...tch...

Arric shrugged a well muscled shoulder. There are other things that I like as well.

He said it so simply! Ashlar finally looked at him with eyes that glowed gratefully. He knew there was value in healing, of course! But he had so much doubt in his own capabilities. The stranger's kindness meant a good deal and it settled his nerves some to hear it.

Still... he hesitated. I can't fight. It's just, I... I tried, before. I can't hurt them. He'd never been faced with a situation that was worth it. He did not think he ever would be. Perhaps he would fail even if he was.

What other things? He tried to push past the damper the last admittance had left on his confidence. Maybe there were things besides war they could speak about.

Those eyes of his, golden and warm. Arric shook his head a small gentle smile on his face. What a gentle soul. He liked him immediately. Wished he wasn't already claimed.

So?

Arric quirked the equivalent of a wolfish eyebrow. I think it takes more strength not to hurt someone. Think about it. I could attack you easily, but you wouldn't attack me back. What does that make me? A bully, but what does it make you almost a damn saint. It shouldn't matter if you can't hurt someone. It just means you feel a little differently and nothing wrong with that.

Arric met his gaze with soft blue eyes. Oh, many things. I like to fish and swim. I meditate daily. I like to observe the surrounding areas. I like to learn. I like colors. I like to watch shooting stars and stormy weather.

He'd always felt it made him a coward. It didn't matter if he knew it was right, or that he was determined to stand by it in spite of that. The way he froze when faced with the decision, and the terrible fear that came with it, felt like anything but strength.

This man insisted differently. Ashlar almost couldn't believe it, but he warmed a little, and broke into an uncertain smile. One that grew larger as Arric listed the things he was interested in.

I don't know much about the stars. But I love storms. They sound like music. Mama had tried to teach him of the stars at times, but just like his plant lessons with Baba, he'd never paid much attention as a child. He'd been so much more interested in play.

What does it mean, to meditate? Ashlar had never heard of such a thing, but if it was similar to the others, he suspected he would enjoy it as well.

Arric could understand why something made you feel a certain way. he felt similar in certain situations. He had felt the shame that came when he had been young, before he could control himself, with how he reacted and the like. So he didn't blame Ashlar, whatever he may think. That was a thing he needed to grapple with on his own.

Arric nodded his head. Music and colors. There are many colors within the storms, and they can do so many things, both good and bad. They are a perfect example of balance.

Storms had always been comforting to the white ringed youth. They were loud and heavy, but they didn't feel negative. They were dangerous sure, but they also brought with them many great things.

Arric smiled and closed his eyes. It is when I just quiet everything. My mind, my soul. I simply sit and exist. It keeps me from losing my temper, and it keeps me balanced.

He'd never noticed colors but now that Arric mentioned them, Ashlar could remember exactly what he meant. The sounds had always been such an overwhelming experience he'd barely noticed.

You... know a lot. About balance. He said, meaning for it to be a compliment despite it coming out rather shyly. Meditation sounded like something peaceful. It's like when I listen for songs, maybe. It's just me and the sounds around. Sometimes it helped him too, but for other things. Things that unbalanced him.

I like to sing. He added, feeling he might as well despite the way it warmed him with slight embarrassment.

Arric had a father who was an observer and being that his father raised him mostly on his own after mother had been gone. He had become an observer too. Though with that came it's own set of burdens, because sometimes you saw things you didn't like or want to necessarily see.

Arric frowned for a moment, making a soft mm in his throat. I do.

Blue eyes looked around, white ring glowing up bright. He nodded again. It is similar yes. The point is to find something that just makes you calm and quiets the overwhelming feelings. For me it's to sit in the silence, for you sounds like music and sound.

Arric gave a kind smile, were they human they would have dimpled. That's good that you have something you love.

The man reminded Ashlar a good deal of Ratio, in a way that made him ache. He wondered if his friend was alright somewhere and hoped, fiercely, that he was.

I've never heard silence. There's always sounds. He wondered how Arric cleared them away and if he would be able to if he tried. Maybe... I could try it. Sometime. Music made him happy, but it also reminded him of Chacal. Of the family he was forever failing because he couldn't be enough.

Ashlar looked down shyly when he spoke of the thing Ashlar loved. It was true but also wasn't. I think... it's... sometimes, maybe too many things. He wasn't sure it made sense. Loving too many things and being pulled countless directions as a result. Do you have things you love?

Arric unfortunately hadn't made many relationships benign or otherwise in his life. His had always been on the go. Something that his father hated, but also there was a restlessness to Jace, that hadn't ever gone away. Arric could never understand it.

What about right before something happens? or right before a really bad storm. That one minute before the storm hits, there's that absolute silence and stillness.

Arric grinned. Sure if you want to meet me on neutral territory sometime. I'll be glad to show you what I do to meditate.

Arric tilted an ear forward listening. He heard the little bit of a question and he  made a soft hmm sound.

Sometimes if we love things it feels like it's over full. But normally that's just our minds and hearts trying to align with how much we love and what we want to do to help. Just gotta learn how to balance it all.

Arric nodded and smiled. Yea. My dad, spring flowers, rivers and waterways, big willow trees. I love sunrises and sunsets and the way ice forms over cave mouths and glitters in moonlight. I love stars.

It was hard for Ashlar to explain.  He considered it for a moment.  The pause.  It’s part of the sound.  The stillness just made the sound of the storm that much more impressive. It was the waiting of it combined with the energy of the air. That much suspense couldn’t be entirely silent.

He was smitten. Ashlar nodded quickly at the other wolf, invitation, then ducked some as he realized shyly how the enthusiasm might look. I’d like that.

Those were so many things to love and he said it so easily. Suddenly Ashlar’s list seemed small by comparison. He felt shame again, knowing that many of the things he truly loved he pretended not to, saying it was for their own sake. He wasn’t sure he believed this anymore.

I love deer. The way herds run. And the sound of fall leaves. D... my dad too. And mama. I miss them. But I love Avicus too. This last part he said softer, though it applied to the Rise as well. It was a different sort of love, devotion that ran deeper than most others. Not even he knew fully what it meant other than that her home was his. He’d promised that a long time ago and nothing had changed.

Arric offered a wolfish grin. It's true of course, but it's more to me an absence of sound. It's like anticipation, but it fills you to the brim. I'm not sure how to explain it without showing you. Let me see.

Arric closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then another, and began to slowly empty his mind. Growing still, the silence inside crescending, he was able to ignore the sound of Ashlar's light breathing. The night time animals, and slowly he opened his eyes again. and smiled.

I know that's not really gonna answer ya unless you try it, but something like that. But for longer. It brings me peace in the silence.

And I'd like that too.

Arric smiled. I'm more of a hunter, but I can certainly give credit where credit is due for the deer that run so gracefully. Oh you mean that crisp crunch noise!

The next words drew Arric pause and a grave expression took precedence over his face. Yea I know what you mean. I miss my folks too, more so my dad. I didn't know my mom much or long. But dad. He was my very best friend. It doesn't get better, but it does get easier to put the thoughts aside, or color them with happiness over the melancholy. I don't think we every stop grieving, not really.

A name was thrown out, but quietly and Arric wondered at it. Is Avicus your mate?

He demonstrated and Ashlar didn’t entirely understand, but he took in the breath and the way Arric stood and tried to study it so that he would remember. So meditation was like capturing the feel before a storm, a pause in the chaos of the day. He wondered if something like that could help him and resolved to try it when he returned home.

Thank you. I’ll try it. Ashlar guessed that it would help and smiled appreciatively.

He nodded at the question about the leaves, but it was the last part that grabbed his attention most. He missed his parents dearly but at least he knew they were happy and together somewhere. He wondered if that was true of Arric’s, but did not get the sense that it was from the way he spoke. Grieving. He was lucky, then, to at least have them out there and to know he could go back. Even if he knew he would not. He had too many promises here.

No. he answered, looking down. It was hard to explain, but he suddenly wished to try. Even if it might make this man think less of him. She’s my friend. She… there’s Prophet. He stands next to her, and I couldn’t. I’m Hælend. They’re warriors, but I’d rather help and heal. Ashlar glanced at him to see his reaction, then tucked his tail a bit more in shame. I… there was Chacal. She wanted pups, and I helped, but Avicus was upset. She was right that I shouldn’t have - they aren’t really mine. So this year I won’t. He wasn’t sure why he shared that last bit. Perhaps because he’d shared with Prophet before and something in Arric reminded him of the easy nature of his packmate. He hoped desperately that Arric didn’t mind.

Had Ashlar mentioned what his thoughts were, Arric would have agreed that this was exactly what he meant. That one moment you take just for yourself. To just exist. Put everything aside, and breath it in. It helped calm you, kept you grounded.

You're welcome. Hope it works for you. IF not i'm sure I can figure something else out for you. At the very least give me an excuse to visit.

Arric raised a wolfish brow. What do you mean you shouldn't have? Were you claimed? Did you have a mate at the time? Did this Chacal ask for anything other than this? It sounds like your friend was jealous. And if that's the case, then she should have plainly told you. Hey can you make babies with me.

Arric sighed. It irks me when someone doesn't say what they want and then gets angry at the wolf in question because they weren't informed. Far as I'm concerned you did nothing wrong. And your friend sounds like she needs to reevaluate some things. Especially if she has a mate and a leader beside her that can give her exactly what she wants. It's unfair and unjust to have someone on a leash while the other is in the wings. Granted polyamory is a whole other ball game, but also clear rules need put in place.

He was defensive. Ashlar was equal parts embarrassed and warmed by the words the other man spoke on his behalf and the sureness behind them. He didn’t know, and didn’t understand, all of it. If he did he wouldn’t take Ashlar’s side so easily.

I promised. I told her the Rise was my home, but Chacal’s…. she lives on the cliffs. He explained, almost apologetic in the way he did so. He didn’t mean to leave so much aside. I thought I was helping her, but they don’t know me. I can’t be their father and it’s better that way. Avicus was first, and I gave my word. It’s… they’re my family. The Rise. He’d chosen and he hadn’t chosen the cliffs, so he deserved the role he’d been placed in. He did not blame Chacal for never revealing it, but he’d been near them enough to assume she’d hidden it by choice now. If she’d wanted it said she’d have said it.

I can’t be enough for anyone anywhere else. So I should stay where I am. He couldn’t be enough for the Rise either, but it was different there. Ashlar continued to look down, expression acceptance with a hint of doubt.

If he was honest, he’d felt lost in all ways but one. Without the Rise he wasn’t sure he would know who he was anymore. He did not want to find out.

Arric listened, but it still made no sense why Avicus was angry. He frowned, trying to work through it. But it was growing increasingly agitated. Not at the male, but rather the situation two women who were supposed to care about him put him in. 

There's those words again, Avicus was first. So then she is your mate. Listen dude, if she's pissed off that you had relations with another woman, but didn't make her own designs on you known, then she's a fool and you are not in the wrong. Is she the one that told you, you couldn't have any type of relationship with your kids, because if so. That's fucking selfish as hell.

His next words made Arric go cold all over. Who told you that? Cause they would be wrong. Just cause you can't fight or be a warrior. Because you like stars and music and healing. That doesn't make you less than. It makes you just perfect to be you. And if someone told you otherwise they're lying.

Arric made a soft noise and ghosted forward and pushed on the small wolf's head in a kind gesture. Listen Ashlar. You're perfect the way you are. Imperfectly perfect. You don't need to be like everyone else to make a way in this world, you really don't. As a matter of fact, the ones that go to the beat of their own system, well those are the brave few. So keep your head up, okay.

Mature Content Warning

This thread has been marked as mature. By reading and/or participating in this thread, you acknowledge that you are of age or have permission from your parents to do so.

The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: Slapping a disclaimer on her, because Arric has his dad's potty mouth D:

Arric listened, but it still made no sense why Avicus was angry. He frowned, trying to work through it. But it was growing increasingly agitated. Not at the male, but rather the situation two women who were supposed to care about him put him in. 

There's those words again, Avicus was first. So then she is your mate or she thinks she is. Listen dude, if she's pissed off that you had relations with another woman, but didn't make her own designs on you known, then she's a fool and you are not in the wrong. Is she the one that told you, you couldn't have any type of relationship with your kids, because if so. That's fucking selfish as hell.

His next words made Arric go cold all over. Who told you that? Cause they would be wrong. Just cause you can't fight or be a warrior. Because you like stars and music and healing. That doesn't make you less than. It makes you just perfect to be you. And if someone told you otherwise they're lying.

Arric made a soft noise and ghosted forward and pushed on the small wolf's head in a kind gesture. Listen Ashlar. You're perfect the way you are. Imperfectly perfect. You don't need to be like everyone else to make a way in this world, you really don't. As a matter of fact, the ones that go to the beat of their own system, well those are the brave few. So keep your head up, okay.

You're perfect the way you are.

Horribly, Ashlar felt himself growing choked up as Arric insisted this in a number of ways. He’d felt so far from it the last few months. The other wolf moving to press his head to the bard’s comfortingly was the final crack, and Ashlar stepped forward too, keeping his head down (despite Arric’s request) as the tears came.

For a little bit he couldn’t speak. He just cried, and the shame of that warred with how good it felt to let the feelings out finally.

I’m s-sorry. He managed finally, haltingly, trying to swallow some of the tears and stop. Just… I’m…. He didn’t have words. So he pressed his head into the man’s shoulder instead, mortified and grateful. He didn’t need to be this nice. Ashlar didn’t think himself brave at all. But he didn’t have the heart to argue either.

Arric was surprised, but the only thing to show it was a gentle flick of his ear. Instead he shifted so he was holding the other wolf's weight and just let him cry. Clearly he needed it. He pressed a larger paw to the other's leg. He said nothing at first.

Though when the brown wolf spoke, he gave a soft grunt. No need to apologize ever, for feeling your feelings. No one gets to dictate how you feel. It's unfair of them to try too.

No more words were said. Arric simply would let him cry until he couldn't anymore and let him lead the conversation. It was clear heavy things weight on the sweet natured wolf in front of him, and he briefly thought of finding this Avicus and telling her off, but figured that'd be counter productive to how he had always tried to be.

Arric didn’t judge or push him away. At first Ashlar tried to hold back, but when he realized this, the sensitive wolf finally let loose on months of built up emotional stress. The children he didn’t know how to be there for. Avicus and his complex feelings of inadequacy. The future he couldn’t see ever becoming something he could be proud of. The wolves he’d met and couldn’t help, and the horror of one dying right before his eyes.

He cried himself out against Arric, then stayed there a bit longer, exhausted by it. He didn’t deserve this patience from a stranger but for some reason it was a gift he’d been given.

Thanks. he finally said, quietly, his voice still a little hoarse from crying. He swallowed, then finally drew back, brushing his face against his foreleg to try and take care of some of the resulting mess his fur was. You’re… you just… you didn’t have to.

Ashlar took a breath, trying to calm his racing heart. His ears were still tilted back, somewhat ashamed, but his eyes displayed a golden warmth as he finally looked at Arric again. I’ll try. I think… I just need to go forward. He’d dwelt in his mistakes too long. Chacal was happy - his children were happy. Avicus and Prophet were happy. He should look to be happy too, and the only one keeping him from it was his own self.

He needed to keep learning.

Do… d’you know anyone who knows how to heal? He asked quietly, hoping the answer was yes. He’d like a reason to see the man again.