Swiftcurrent Creek cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you [m]
dreamer trapped by your desire
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BIRTH TIME
Date: 03/12/2019 @ 4:25pm
Setting: Kavik's den (set into the mountainside at Swiftcurrent Creek's western border)
paging @Rosalie & @Kavik but all welcome! kids, you'll be tagged as you're born and are welcome to pop in a birth post if you want <3
There's something off about the morning, and though she's felt more lively since her reunion with Rosalie, something tells her to stay within the den today. She's been restless in the strangest way lately, overcome by the need to prepare herself, her den, everything — and, big as she's gotten, she doesn't need a midwife to tell her what that means. It's only a matter of waiting now. Not that she has to wait very long; the first tell-tale ripples of discomfort start rather early in the day, faint but notably different from the cramps she has experienced throughout her pregnancy, and her pulse begins to race as she realizes it will be today.
By afternoon, the contractions are overwhelming. Her small frame shudders with each surge, and bile rises in her throat each time she glances to her flank and notes the way the flesh ripples when the sensations are strongest. She's tucked up against the far wall of the den, breath coming fast and heavy, half-reclined in a rather awkward position — the only one that provides any relief, really. Kavik's sudden arrival startles her back to her feet, and she's snarling before she can even think about it, snapping at him to get out
And then he's gone, and she's sinking back down, whining softly as her abdomen tightens again. This time she allows herself to fall limp against the ground, focusing on her breathing as she takes in the brief moment of respite between contractions. It is painfully fleeting. Not half a beat later, the sensation returns tenfold, and she grits her teeth to keep from crying out as her body tenses and trembles with the force of it. The pauses are brief now, hardly time for a breath, and an eternity seems to pass like this; all she can do is breathe, and try not to scream. She doesn't even notice the murky mix of birth fluids and blood pooling at her hind end — not until she feels the arrival of the first puppy. Her first child. Her tiny body strains to expel the child, and this time she cries out, voice dying into an agonized whine as her firstborn finally slips from her, dark and limp in a way that seems wrong.
Her muzzle finds the pup automatically, but there is no resistance as she tears the sac from it and noses it a little desperately. Nothing. She swallows, eyes heating with tears before she can even register the thought, and chokes back a sudden sob as she noses the corpse and its afterbirth as far from her as she can. There is no time to mourn, however. Her body quickly begins the process again, but she is already exhausted. She leans back again, eyes closing and jaw tightening as she prepares herself for the next... however long it takes. Each minute feels like an eternity as she suffocates under the intense feeling; she can't say how much time passes before she feels the stirring of another pup, this time accompanied by a particularly sharp pain in her belly.
Her cry is choked, and this time her heart drops into her stomach as the pup slides from her, too-small in a way that sends a cold chill through her veins. Bile races up her throat again, and she fights the urge to vomit as her horrified gaze settles on what should have been her child. But it isn't a child. Even through the sac she can see clearly the half-formed features; the bulging eyes and misshapen skull, dark entrails spilling from an imperfectly-formed abdomen, hind end shriveled and twisted as if it hadn't quite developed. It feels like a cruel joke. Rosalie — Kavik, Their names slip from her before she can stop them, voice halting as she fights the emotions threatening to overwhelm her. She closes her eyes, struggling to stifle her sobs even as the contractions begin to intensify again. She can't even look at them; she can't do this — not if all of her children will arrive this way, dead or horribly deformed.
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The starling snarl and snap from Alessia could be heard outside the den, the only indication that anything was amiss. The day had progressed like any other, and just like that she knew that it was time. Time for reality to test the strained relationship between the three adults.

Rosalie was grateful she hadn’t wandered far from Alessia’s side, the only person she truly knew and trusted. She couldn’t bring herself to truly settle, not here, not in the home of Kavik. She didn’t trust him, there was no reason to. This man could hurt her Alessia and that couldn’t be allowed. But her opinions on the matter had been muffled and squished to try and give Alessia everything she wanted. Everything she deserved.

But deep down she could still feel the ill feeling that had settled in her stomach. The feeling of being the odd man out, the outsider. Lie struggled with the idea that this was not her happy ending, no matter how much she wanted it to be. She was waiting for someone to point it out, the ugliness of her soul that would corrupt those around her. She felt dirty, trying to poke her nose in on a family she had no right disturbing.

Even with such thoughts Rosalie couldn’t bring herself to move. To vacate the post she had set, waiting for her best friend to birth her children.

Silently closing her eyes, she sent a prayer to the sky. An act that as a child had been habitual, had been long forgotten as an adult. Lie begged the universe for Alessia’s safety, and that of her children. The instinct automatic.

It wasn’t until the strangled cry reach her ears that Lie realized how thoroughly worried she was. How her heart thudded in her chest, and blood rushed through her system. “Alessia?” She couldn’t help the call, nor the swift movement of her paws as she approached the entrance of the den.

The smell of blood and amniotic fluid brought reality back as Lie entered the den. Startled by the sight of her love struggling with nature, the heaving of her stomach and the whimpers the only evidence of the attack. Seafoam green caught sight of the stillborn pups pushed away and discard with the care of a hurting mother. Turning sad eyes on the struggling mother, Lie cautiously made her way closer. Seeking to comfort the woman, she pushed her nose against Alessia’s cheek lingering for a moment to share the pain.

“It’s ok. I’m here.” She whispered softly, her lips alongside Alessia’s ear, We are here.” Admitting that Kavik was just as necessary a presence as her own, once again pushing away her nature just to please the woman she loved with all her heart.
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~ i haven't played that song since my wife died ~
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Over the last few days, he hadn't missed the change in his mate's behavior; she had been restless, constantly finding different ways to prepare the den for the arrival of the pups. He wasn't even sure there had been anything else to get ready, but he didn't dare tell her that; he was much too anxious anyway. He knew she could go into labor at any moment, and so it was all he could do not to just follow her everywhere she went. He had settled on just frequently checking up on her and so today when he walked into the den to find her on the ground near the far wall writhing in pain, he was pretty sure he felt his entire stomach lurch into his chest. He started to move towards her, but she jumped up and snarled at him to leave, making him pause for a few seconds while he battled his overwhelming need to stay make sure she was okay. But the look on her face finally forced him from the den; he knew she just needed him to leave. 

When he departed the den once more, his gaze settled briefly on Rosalie before he padded a few steps away to pace a line in the snow. He felt like he was going to explode with worry, and there was just no way he could sit down. After what seemed like forever, an agonizing cry rang out from inside the den, freezing him in place, and he had to battle his urge to run back in and check on her again. But after a few moments, he resumed his pacing, anxious thoughts flying in and out of his mind so quickly that his heart began to race and his chest tightened. The thought of remaining out here throughout the entire birth was almost too much.

But then another sound came from the inside the den, and he realized she was calling for them, the pain clear in her voice. Kavik ran back into the den only a few seconds behind Rosalie. Once inside, he faltered, eyes falling on the two deceased puppies. Despair, dark and suffocating, rushed through his body, and he had to close his eyes against the feeling, the sight of their two dead children seared into his eyelids. A hard swallow moved down his throat as he opened his eyes to find Alessia. She looked so tired and was in so much pain, and it was all his fault. Guilt soon mixed with the despair as he slowly padded over to the two women, a low whine escaping him as he took a seat nearby. It's okay, he said gently, unknowingly repeating Rosalie's words. Despite the tension currently between them, he was glad she was here to help Alessia; his mate deserved that much. He wanted to wrap himself around her and comfort her as much as he could, but he was afraid she wouldn't want him to touch her with the repercussions of his mistake staring them in the face. So he settled for just remaining near, waiting to do anything she needed and hoping more than he had ever hoped for anything in his life that whatever puppies were left would be born alive and healthy.
I'm no good without you
dreamer trapped by your desire
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She doesn't have to wait long for them to arrive, and while she's grateful for their presence, she can't help but grimace slightly at the proximity. Normally she would take comfort in her lover's touch, but she's overwhelmed by pain and now acutely aware of how disgusting she feels, straining and leaking blood and fluids everywhere. Honestly, it just makes her feel worse. But she tries to take comfort in the support, leaning into Rosalie's gentle touch for a moment before pulling away with a soft whine.
Please get rid of them, She manages between breaths, aiming the statement at whoever is willing to do it; she can't bring herself to specify what she means, but she's certain they'll understand anyway. And — sit a little farther away, please? Her next request is for both of them, guilt heavy in her tone, but she doesn't get a chance to explain or apologize.
Another wave of intense contractions overwhelms her, and whether her requests are obliged or not, she finds herself able to do little but breathe and push for the next half hour. The effort finally produces another pup, dark like the first two — but this time, the newborn squirms almost imperceptibly with life. @Helios, she decides, knowing Kavik won't protest it; the rest of the names can be chosen together, but she wants to decide for this first child, her true firstborn — and besides, her mate supplied the name. She wastes no time cleaning him and tucking him to her belly, though it isn't long before she's forced to lay back again with a soft whine.
@Celia arrives far more quickly than her brother, smaller but slightly more lively — but for a moment, Alessia can't find the energy to respond. She takes in a deep breath, forcing herself to move to clean and inspect the pup, but she feels as if she's trying to move through deep water. Her body responds sluggishly to each command, threatening to falter any moment. The realization sparks panic somewhere deep in her chest, but even that feels muted by her exhaustion, and she can't even find the energy to tell either of the wolves at her side.
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It took everything in her power to take a step back, pushing herself away from Alessia. This woman made her defy every instinct within herself, every demand that she simply curl around the dark woman and shield her from the world of pain she was enduring. But she couldn’t. Lie had to be strong.

Both her requests as like assaults against her being, and a silent tear cascade’s her cheek as she turned her green eyes on the poor children. Taken to early from their parents. Sparing Kavik a glance, she knew she couldn’t make him do it. Although she had a passionate dislike for the man at the moment, she wasn’t cruel. No father should have to bury their own children. There wasn’t much that Rosalie could do for Alessia and to a lesser extent Kavik, but this, this was something should could do.

Silently she padded over to the youngsters, another tear blurring her vision. Gently she picked up the first puppy, with only enough pressure to assure their grip between her teeth. Biting back a gag Rosalie quickly exited the den and deposited the pup just outside. Her goal to remove the unlucky creatures from their mothers’ sight. As she returned to collect the second babe, Alessia’s form shakes with exertion. Another pup making their way into the world.

A small relief ran through Lie as she saw the wiggling form being massaged by their mother. A beautiful sight, the epitome of nature. Rosalie was glad that finally Alessia’s effort had born fruit. A small smile made it way across her lips, as another whine came from her lover. Yet another new arrival came, squirming and searching for milk.

With renewed hope Lie returned to the task at hand, and gently picked up the deformed body of an elder sibling. She wasn’t sure if there were special ceremonial circumstances held in the pack for the death of a member. But Rosalie knew she couldn’t leave the bodies out in the cold, all alone. No. Alessia would be distraught at the thought of her dead children lying outside the den for prying eyes to see. Gathering some leaves and branches, Lie covered the pitiful children until her and Kavik could give them a proper send off.

“Au revoir mes chers enfants.” Leaving them with few words, Lie returned to the den. Sitting near the entrance, an outside watching in on the family.

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~ i haven't played that song since my wife died ~
lie can be pp'd by anyone listed as family on her profile

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x
A light follows the darkness, bringing forth the first of hopes to the parents who mourned his older siblings’ stolen life. He breathes, stuttering with raspy and weak lungs, but nonetheless, he breathes. Liquid clouds his nose and agape jaws, yet soon the fear and confusion is comforted. An unknown source urges him to continue, as if pleading for the fire to not be snuffed out too soon once more.

Helios wiggles, muscles already tire from the subtle movement, yet he starts to feel. Senses awakening to the strange and wonderful world around him. The pup lets out a quiet squeak at his mother’s insistent cleaning, until the stability from underneath him disappears—another distressed cry escapes the child’s lips. His feeble flailing ceases the second his body touches the ground, and he nuzzles into the soft warmth of Alessia’s stomach.
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He glanced to their two deceased children, swallowing hard and closing his eyes as Alessia's request settled over him. He steeled himself to do what needed to be done, wanting to help his mate in anyway he could. But when he opened his eyes, his gaze met Rosalie's as she moved to where the two lifeless pups lied motionless on the floor of the den. It seemed she was going to save him the pain of moving his departed children. Kavik watched her leave, thinking he would need to thank her after all of this was done. He stood and moved back a few steps to sit farther away as Alessia had asked, not liking the space now between them but wanting to respect her wishes, no matter how worried he was. 

He had little time to think anymore about the debt he now owed Rosalie or his current worries, though, because his attention was then pulled towards his mate once more. He watched as she struggled for what felt like hours to deliver their next child, almost getting up to move closer at one point but quickly dismissing the idea at the thought of possibly causing her anymore discomfort. Then the next pup was born and this time it was very much alive, squirming inside its sack before Alessia cleaned it away to reveal a dark, crying puppy. He was amazed by how small and helpless it seemed, and he wanted to move closer and see whether it was a son or daughter but remained where he was, taking comfort in the sight of his child clean and pressed against Alessia's dark fur. 

Rosalie's return pulled his eyes away from the puppy, but only briefly. His gaze returned to his mate when a soft whine escaped her. He wondered if another pup was on its way, and his question was soon answered. The next one was alive as well, writhing in it's sack as Alessia tiredly released it. He grew worried about how many more times she would have to do this; she already seemed sapped of all her energy, and he wondered how much longer she could press on. Still he remained where he was, every inch of his being shying away from upsetting her in any way when she was already suffering so much, but he remained ready to jump into action and fulfill anymore needs she might have.
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Time starts to blur after the birth of her second child, and she isn't sure how much time passes between then and her next. She can hardly distinguish between minutes and hours, focused only on the heavy sound of her own breathing and the pain rippling through her body. At first, @Polaris's arrival is met with apathy. It takes her longer to respond this time, and she finds herself lingering sluggishly over the pale child even when the girl is safely tucked against her, willing herself to lean back and start the process again.

[Image: maxresdefault.jpg]

By the time her last child arrives, her body has given up on obeying her orders. She stirs only faintly, glancing to Rosalie and Kavik with tired eyes for a moment as she realizes she doesn't have the energy to tend to her last born. Kavik — She swallows hard, trying to find the words to ask for his help — but it seems she doesn't need to. Perhaps he recognizes her exhaustion, or maybe there is some sort of deeper connection in the bond they share; either way, he seems to realize what she needs, and she relaxes as her mate moves toward the pup she hasn't even seen yet. She closes her eyes after a moment, fighting the instinctive urge to warn him away from the newborns, and waits to feel the last pup against her. As much as she trusts Kavik, she knows she won't be able to rest until she does.
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It was difficult to stay still as her lover struggled, energy dangerously low with effort still required to bring yet more pups into the world. She had already birthed four pups, that was a lot, and Rosalie worried about how many could be left. Time ticked at a crawl, making the woman antsy. Crushing the growing need to pace, Lie’s tail twitched instead. Swishing in the dirt every other second.

The arrival of yet another pale child was met with less excitement and more worry as Alessia belatedly cleaned and cared for the child. Her less animated appearance digging at Rosalie, she couldn’t stop a small whimper as it bubbled at her lips.

Near the entrance of the den she lowered herself to a lying position, holding her body ridged as she waited with bated breath. Ready to help at any moment. With what seemed like hours later, Alessia squirmed once more and yet another child makes their appearance. The dark woman’s desperate plea break’s Lie’s heart, she tells herself it’s because of Alessia’s weak form and not for the — wrong — name called. The brute moves swiftly to help his mate, and Lie can feel the niggle at the back of her brain once more. The inclination that — she shouldn’t be here. Clenching her jaw and tightening her muscles for all their worth, it takes all of Lie’s strength to remain in her current spot.
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~ i haven't played that song since my wife died ~
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He watched Alessia struggle to clean the next puppy, afraid she would pass out at any minute. A few times, he had to fight against his need to get back up and help her with the task but slowly, she cleaned the child and moved it to her side, and he felt the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding move from his chest. He hoped she was done now and could finally rest, but it seemed they were not so lucky. She soon started the process again, and he could tell something was wrong. She only barely registered the labor as it progressed, cementing his worry. Panic squeezed his chest as he watched the small puppy emerge, the feeling intensifying as he realized she was clearly too exhausted take care of it. He was already rising to his feet when she called out to him, intent on taking over even though she had made it clear before that she didn't want anyone too close. Her plea only made him move faster as he shot across the cave to the child that still remained inside its sac. An almost paralyzing fear enveloped his heart then as he imagined the puppy struggling and alone. 

He wasted no time freeing their daughter, quickly cleaning her tiny form as he waited to hear the sound of her crying. But nothing came, and the panic intensified more than he even thought it could. He had to fight through the fear of losing yet another child and continue licking her tiny body, the whole time silently begging for her life to be spared, bargaining even his own life to just hear any sounds from the weak puppy. Then she stirred, a small pitiful sound escaping her tiny mouth as he continued to draw his tongue along her back. Relief so strong he thought he might cry replaced the panic at her cry even as weak as it sounded. When she seemed animated enough that he thought she might be able to nurse, he gently lifted her in his giant mouth and carried her over to his mate, setting her down slowly and carefully, like any harsh movement would break her. He lingered over the other three nursing children only long enough to ensure they were all doing okay and when he was satisfied that everyone was alive, he reached over and gently touched his nose to Alessia's face if allowed, whispering words of praise and comfort before finally returning to his place near Rosalie and the den opening to keep watch while his exhausted family rested.
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There is little to accompany the dove's arrival, little to receive her; only the cold, and a weak, desperate flail when the fluid that had once been her haven quickly begins to drown her.

She tries to cry, and can't, and panic grips her frail body with a shudder. Her heartbeat quickens - she is helpless - but she is not alone, and though delayed, her helper comes, and she feels the first touch of comfort sweep over the length of her. Languid, slow - yet her mouth is freed, and she feels a familiar warmth - and she breathes.

The dove does not cry when the great comfort draws her up, nor does she put up a fight. She trusts her helper, and soon she finds herself placed in a crook not quite as warm as the womb, yet familiar, and the dove shuffles closer until she finds herself pressed against the tiny frame of her brother @Helios, who breathes in steady rhythm, like her. This is a comfort, another familiarity, and softly, she presses her nose against him.
#12
❝There are only three events in a man's life; birth, life, and death; he is not conscious of being born, he dies in pain, and he forgets to live.❞
— Jean de la Bruyère

The frail sprite is blissfully oblivious to the tragedy of the scene he enters. True to his blood, Zephyr is swept up in the current of his own crisis: change. For so long the pallid youth has been his own world, his own god, the only whim he must abide; he is everything — and all at once, he is nothing. Gravity grips the newborn like a vice, fragile body struggling to adjust to its newfound independence, and for many moments the world is deathly still. He is deathly still, tethered tenuously to the world and fading with each suffocating moment until —
Until the world changes again; a flash of movement and the frigid embrace of ice. The cold only grips him a moment — and then there is touch, warmth, movement. The sprite stirs faintly, pale forelimbs trembling imperceptibly. Inwardly the pale boy scorns the disturbance with what dim consciousness he possesses, affronted as the world demonstrates immediately its dominance over him, reminding him that he is no longer his own. He is small, he is weak, he is powerless; finally, he wails, limbs wheeling feebly for a beat. The vast, fathomless force seems to accept this, and again the world changes: flight, and then — something warm, something familiar. He shifts only slightly, a little uncomfortable lodged between his siblings who had been so closely pressed together. There is perhaps some prodding to be felt by both Polaris and Helios as he nestles between them, yet his movements are feeble, even compared to his delicate siblings. His first battle against the world has exhausted the energy from him, and the newborn drifts into uneasy slumber with the bitter taste of his first defeat thick on his tongue; it will not be the last.
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#13
Laine had liked the womb. It had been warm and comforting, never changing. Then she was shoved, squeezed and pushed out a hole and into a cold startling world. When Alessia said lively she had likely referred to her angry and horrified bawling. She was born small and fierce yet...she was soft because as soon as her mother licked her she was silent. So weakened by the traumatic process of birth was she that the touch instantly put her to sleep. Only the scent of milk would rouse her to suckle then sleep again.
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Kavik complies, and when she feels the warmth of her last child against her belly she finally finds it in herself to lay her head on the ground, letting the tension leave her body. Everything aches, and the scent of blood hangs heavy in the air, almost choking, but she is content in a way. Her children are alive, if weak — and she has Rosalie. Kavik. A pack surrounding her. It is a messy beginning, but a beginning nonetheless — and she intends to make the most of it.
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