Redhawk Caldera it's a slow fade

It was hard to find time for anything with the toll that the pups had taken on Maia and the fact that there were four more mouths to feed and pups to raise now, but Eljay managed to steal away some time to go and see @Teya. it was very helpful that @Sylvie, @Roswell and @Hymnal were there to help them as well this year; it took a lot of the pressure off his shoulders. Hymnal was the perfect older sister, and though Eljay wished that @Weejay was here for it too (because he knew she would be amazing at it, too) he was so happy to have his older children still here this year, happy to help out.

This gave him the time to go and find Teya and Sorana to see how they were doing; check in on Sorana's health, but more particularly, check in on how Teya was holding up.

"hello, eljay." she held sorana close. it seemed these days despite how she had felt, the girl was always nearby, sleeping or cooing in the curve of one arm. the raven's tail thumped.
the auspex was looking a little tired. she knew he'd been hunting extra for both her and maia, and she was not sure how she could ever repay him. but eljay wouldn't want that.
her eyes were clearer now, the dark smudges beneath fading. "she like to watch butterflies."

As he approached Teya, Eljay smiled as he saw Sorana held close as usual. Hi Teya, he said softly as he approached, watching them both. Teya looked a little better than the last time he had seen her. Perhaps Sorana had really showed her that her worries for all for nothing. Even though she had not wanted to have Sorana, now that she was here, Eljay was glad to see that she was wanted and loved after all.

He smiled as Teya said she liked to watch butterflies. She was born in the right season, then, he said softly. There were plenty of butterflies going around. How are you doing? He'd almost asked how she was holding up, but decided just in time to give a more positive twist to his words.

teya knew what eljay was asking. "it has been hard to adjust." not only to sorana, but to reyes, back in her space, back in her life. of course he was. they were mates and he had only taken the trip because she had ordered him to go. yet she felt protective over the den, and at times she wished he would go to the other side of the caldera.
"reyes loves her," she blurted, only because there was so much crowding her mind. "and bridget help me a lot. every day." she looked down at the girl. "she has lot of wolves to adore her."

It was hard to adjust to having children; Eljay understood that. He perhaps had not needed to adjust as much as some others, considering he was already the puppysitter before he had children himself. Even if they wouldn't have been his own Eljay would've been involved in raising the children of the pack. I get that, he said, even though it was so different for himself. Teya was different than him, and he saw that, if nothing else.

Teya went on to say that Reyes loved her, which prompted Eljay to smile. Bridget was helping out too, which was good. He smiled softly as Teya said there were many wolves that adored her. Eljay could not help but wonder about Teya's own thoughts on Sorana, but he did not ask. Instead, he said, I can't wait until our children are old enough to play together. He was happy, at least, that his children would have someone to play with as they grew up, and so did Sorana.

teya smiled. "it will be nice when they meet. there are lots of teachers in brecheliant. they can learn together."
some emotion choked her throat and hurt a lot. she looked down at her sleeping baby. "i am glad there was only one, eljay. is that wrong?" she did not think it was but she trusted the auspex implicitly. "i just — i not think i could be good mother to lots of children."
"i look at maia and i admire. i wish —" and then she sighed softly and was quiet.

post 2000 for you <3

Eljay nodded at Teya's words. It'd be good to see the children grow up together. Eljay thought of Bridget and considered if he should say something about her to Teya, but then Teya spoke again. She said she was happy that it only one pup; that she was not sure she could've handled more. Eljay did not doubt that Teya would've been totally fine if she had more pups. Just like she was fine having Sorana when she didn't necessarily want her in the first place.

I think you'll continue to be a wonderful mother, Teya, Eljay said softly. Just like how you've been wonderful to last year's children as they grew up. Not everyone is the same and wishes for the same things. It's fine if you're happy with having just Sorana. Eljay tried to be reassuring, though there was a lingering thought of as long as you're happy with her; but he had seen the pair of them together and he did not doubt that much was true.

woo! congrats! <3

eljay's reassurance tightened her throat and stung her eyes. it had been a blessing to be auntie to hymnal and her siblings. it would be the same this year, even if she too was a mother now. but being told it was all right she hadn't wanted a bunch of kids was intrinsic to her healing, and something felt lighter inside her chest.
"thank you. sorana has good uncle and auntie in you and maia," she decided with a quick curve of her lips. "brecheliant is just like family now, isn't it?"

It seemed like Teya felt better now, which made Eljay feel a bit better too. He smiled as Teya said that he and Maia would be good aunt and uncle to Sorana, too. It was true that Brecheliant was more like real family now than ever before. Teya might not have wanted it, but Sorana's arrival had definitely helped with that.

Eljay changed the subject quite suddenly as he said, How do you think Lilitu is doing in her new pack? Perhaps it was the subject of family that reminded him of her so suddenly.

teya laughed a little. "akashingo is very big. there are even servants. i think lilitu is happy there. maybe a little misplaced. but she will grow into it."
she had gone there as a princess, after all.
she studied the auspex. "do you miss her?"

It was hard for Eljay to imagine what it must be like to live in a place like Akashingo. He nodded at Teya's words and looked thoughtful until eventually she asked him the next question. Did he miss her? Yes, of course, he said without thinking. She is family, even if we didn't know each other that well - it was like something clicked from the beginning. It feels like she belongs here, I guess. But maybe she can belong in two places at once. She would grow into Akashingo, like Teya said. He asked, What about you? Do you miss her?

teya began to shrug, then stopped. "yes. i do. it feel — odd, without her. sometimes i think if lilitu have children she would have them here."
thoughts of ibis stung her heart.
teya felt herself sinking. sorana began to start and stir, her jaws opening in a little squeal. her chest felt tight with milk to feed the little one, and she glanced in apology to eljay.

Eljay wondered about Teya's word for a moment. He was about to ask if Teya thought that Lilitu would return here to rear her children -- if such a thing was even possible -- but at that moment Sorana stirred. Eljay recognised both the child and mother's signals and need for privacy and he nodded at Teya. I'm glad you two are doing well. He smiled, unaware that he was forgetting about Reyes in the equation for a moment there. I'll see you two later.

<3

she looked warmly at him. "thank you, eljay. goodbye."
her eyes followed him until he was out of sight; she waited until she was more assured he could also no longer hear her. and then the deluge came again, silent shaking sobs as she put sorana to her breast and lay with a paw folded over her muzzle, crying until she had no more to give and they both slept in the gently buzzing heat of the warm day.