Wapun Meadow learning that i’m deserving of love and the peaceful heart

"well, no shit, mom," merrick retorted, jaws splitting into an unhinged grin. "this is me. this is what i am. this is what you did," the boy continued more grimly, thrusting his face into indra's tearstained visage. "i'm sick. i'm fucked. i don't want to be this. i don't want to do this!" he shouted, words dying into a strangled hiss.
"you know i killed a kid once," merrick raved, turning back to his mother. "broke his bones, almost drowned him.  threw him off a mountain." the fact that he was now unsure if his young quarry had actually succumbed was irrelevant.
"i felt alive. that is the only time i feel, mother," the yearling whispered, crouching low and slinking close to indra — back and forth, back and forth
"that is who i am. and it began when i needed to feel something after you left," he explained, tone growing iced-over and accusatory once more. "don't you get it now?"  and here his voice broke, here merrick stumbled, and truly began to weep, gulping great draughts of air as he stared heavenward. "i'm so tired, mommy," the boy wailed in a child's voice. "i want to live!"
when merrick returned to himself a handful of seconds later, it was to spot indra's ruddy form disappearing around the edge of the knoll, having grasped her sense of self-preservation. merrick bellowed wordlessly after her, enraged, and in the next instant he had given chase as the snow began to fall with more force.