Emberwood Remember when you said you loved me?

He could remember what it was like when things worked. Before they’d been a couple, when they’d spent time side by side, when he’d learned how much she hated being left behind. Fennec did have qualities that he found endearing to the point of being addictive. Those moments were impossible to forget; but he felt them drift further from his present mind when she spoke.

It wasn’t likely her intention, but the things she was saying made him feel even worse about what had happened. She didn’t know the whole story, and maybe if she did, she wouldn’t be saying what felt like criticism, now. He knew she hated it when he needed space, he he felt like shit for making her feel that way. But somehow, taking the space he needed was the only way to heal. And it was so much less painful to push her away than it had been for him to simply give in and let her get close. 

She was emotional now, but he wasn’t about to give in and let her guilt him into telling her that she was the victim. He’d needed a sacrifice from her, in order to recover from her trauma. Apparently, that sacrifice had been too much for her to make.

”Look. I’b sorry this has beed so hard on you. But I needed space. I needed you to give that to be so that I could get better. You have do idea how badly I was hurt, Fedd. It just seems like you have no, fucking idea how badly I was hurt. I just needed some fucking tibe so that y’know what, the next tibe you reach out to touch me, I don’t ibbediately just….Go back to that place, and picture all that again, and wanna die again. That’s why I needed space. It wasn’t that I didn’t want you. I just…I needed those flashbacks to go away. I couldn’t let that be what I felt when you touched me so I…Needed you to not touch me for a while.” He said. The breath he drew next was shaky. ”I just felt I had to put our relationship somewhere safe…Out of reach, so it couldn’t be…Corrupted by those memories. An’ you’re right, we both deserve better than this. But this…This isn’t how it’s always gonna be.”