Sleepy Fox Hollow [m] nomajoka

it was not enough! why wasn't complete acceptance of his rejection enough! rage sparked in heda, coupling with the new instinctual crush of protective maternality over what was not yet even a spark and perhaps would not be. 
in her, the longer anselm spoke, heda worthlessly begged god that nothing come to pass of this sheer mistake. why was he standing in front of her? the widow's teeth longed to feel his skin yield once more, and she was silent until his face blanched with comprehension over what they'd done. what he had.
"forget what i said. you're right. we don't love each other. you're also right that my god is cruel." her mouth threatened to tremble; heda glanced off in the direction of noctisardor. 
"this was wrong." she cleared her throat, looked anselm directly in the eyes. "get away from me, for his sake. go bathe. i'll — we'll — be gone in the next couple of days. maybe tomorrow."
heda began to move again. she could just envision what a marriage might look like after he'd coldly denied her only a few moments ago. anselm would resent her even more than he already did, and this was not even considering how he would react to a pregnancy.
she had dinah and ava to consider first, before them and definitely before him. 
the crush of sorrow and loss in her breast was so deep she almost couldn't breathe.