Noctisardor Bypass laksen

as much as heda lied to herself about the absence of anselm's investment in her, it hurt. it hurt so much in fact that as his somber voice sounded for druid, the scared girl inside heda cried what about me? and continued to cry, no matter how much she mentally scourged herself.
the tears slowly ended their eke; heda dabbed the last of them away and swallowed. "thank you. druid would appreciate that," she said in a soft voice gone sallow with formality. "she told me she was going to a big forest east of the bypass. i can't even remember its name."
she didn't want to look at him. every time she did, she remembered all the times and ways in which he'd rejected her, using no uncertain words. even the night where they had almost — she ached to remember how angry she had been with druid over this man! of all men!
heda's pale shoulders straightened. "the last thing i wanted to talk about is that amadeo has — amadeo has asked to court me. i said — well." her breath extended in an exhale too harsh. "i'm not against it. we are ... well-matched."
golden eyes filled with pain settled to the taciturn man. "i've been — waiting on you, anselm. and i-i'm tired of waiting for something you told me you never wanted." that was her own fault, not his, heda told herself, trying with every part of her to let him go, let him go, let him go.