Noctisardor Bypass ich muss dir sagen

She couldn't say why, of all the truths Mahler had spoken and all the times she had rebuffed him, this was the truth she chose to believe. She feared death so greatly that she could not imagine anyone ever lying that they were bound for it. That, or the better part of her, buried under all those nettles and burrs, knew he would never hurt her with a lie.

Whatever the cost, Wylla would pay it. She resolved to as she held him and began to spiral into desperate bargaining in her own head. Never another argument, if only he lived. Never would she doubt his words again, if only he lived. Never would she raise her voice in anger, if only he lived.

A ragged breath tore at her throat. Let him never tell another soul. Let Wylla find some way to save him so no one else would ever have to know that he was dying. She knew everyone had to die eventually, but ... Not before her. She had to be the first to go, out of all of them, out of Mahler and Tiercel and Phaedra and Thade and even Lycaon, out there, wherever he was. Let her perish before Lusca, no matter how improbable. She knew she could not bear to lose any of them, and was too cowardly to face the pain of it.

That was how her resolve clicked into place and bid her to draw back, to look into the misty lilac of his gaze. So beautiful, so peaceful a colour, and melded flawlessly into hers in the eyes of their daughter. She had never really noticed before, but if red was the colour of Wylla's life, then lilac was the colour of her love.

Be mine, Mahler, she whispered. It was not the romantic and sweet proposal she had wished for every time he posed it in anger and desperation. This was desperate in its own way, because tomorrow the chance might pass her by, and she could not live to regret it. She meant it completely.