Sun Mote Copse Little desert fox

Assuming this takes place after her reunion with Fig, but lemme know if I need to change it!

Once he and Towhee had a chance to catch up, he knew exactly what his next stop would be: @Fennec. There was a time when he thought he had lost her, and it had driven him into a deep depression. He could scarcely remember anything that had happened during that time at the grove, but knowing she was safe and sound here with the Firebirds made him unbelievably happy. She was strong, as he had always known she was. Smart, too, to end up with the sister pack.

Only when he was sure that she and Figment weren't still having their own reunion did he approach her with caution. The stuttered crunch crunch of his footfalls on the snow would be more than enough to announce his presence, and he idly wondered if he would be even more recognizable to her now that he walked with a limp in his right foreleg.

Instead of rushing to her like he had before, he approached cautiously, worried he might overwhelm her again if he went in too quickly. Fennec? he said, just above a whisper. It's me.

vague to get on her log

Fennec should have known that after Figment and she spoke, her dad would be close after.  Her ears twisted back from where she was lying down, but she didn't move to get up.  She couldn't explain the hesitance.

I'm here, she said.  She forgot sometimes that for everyone else, such specifiers were unnecessary.  Often she assumed everyone else went through life as blind as she did, and because of that they needed to be told where she was.

Sorry.  About, y'know, earlier.  She didn't turn to face him quite yet, and suddenly, she felt her pulse quicken again.  She'd convinced herself pretty thoroughly that part of the reason they'd disappeared was the desire to distance themselves from her, and while she knew she was better now and improving by the day at doing things herself, she was afraid.

At the same time, she wanted nothing more than to do as she had when she was small and bury herself in her dad's embrace.  There was a heavy, weird tension to her while she waited.  She didn't even really know what for.

[i]"I'm here."[i] Phox had to turn his head slightly to see her, as she was on his blind side. He hadn't thought of it until now, but he now shared part of her experience. It wouldn't be the same, of course, but in some weird way, he felt closer to her for it. Fennec apologized, and he shook his head silently.

And I'm sorry for rushing at you like that. Phox took another step closer, stopping if she showed any hesitation at all. You look like you've gotten along really well here. I'm proud of you. The Redhawk blood ran strong in her, just as it did in Figment. They were his children, there was no doubt about that. They had plenty of Towhee in them, too, despite their lack of immediate blood bond with her.

I'm proud of you.  She felt her breath catch again, weirdly.  It was odd.  Before this whole ordeal she'd never even thought to doubt herself.  Now she was beginning to get past it, to trust herself, but their re-appearance seemed to bring all that old bad right back.  Why? she asked, quietly.  What exactly was he proud of?

It wasn't that she didn't feel she'd done things to be proud of.  He just hadn't been around to see it.  She didn't resent him for it, she just genuinely needed to know.  She needed to find out if it was real.

Because you showed everybody just how strong you were. Everybody tried to tell me that you wouldn't—couldn't—survive without me and Fig because you can't see, but you've thrived here, Fennec. You are a Redhawk. She was his Redhawk, no less. Figment was, too. Both of his children had turned out to be no less than spectacular in every way that he could see. Maybe that was parental rose glasses that were talking, but Phox truly couldn't imagine more perfect children.

I wish you hadn't had to gain your independence so suddenly, but you've done such a great job of it. Phox took another step closer to her, restraining himself from mushing her into the ground right then and there. He just wanted to squeeze her stupid.

She knew it.  Just like Towhee.  This time, instead of shame, though, she felt a sudden anger rush through her. She knew it was with herself, but she turned it on him because she wasn't sure what else to do with it.

But I can't. She burst out with it.  I left you and I almost died.  I would have if someone hadn't helped me.  I can't do anything.  I keep trying and every time I just end up showing more and more how much I can't do by myself.  What if you leave again!?  What if mom does too?!  Her tone took on a slightly frantic pitch, which she caught herself.

This wasn't how this was supposed to go.  She was supposed to be learning, but every time she did, it backfired.  Even with the coyote, Wraen had stepped in just when she felt she might have had it handled.  What if she didn't, and it would have killed her if the other adult hadn't come?

Do you have any idea how scary this is? she asked, quietly, refusing to raise her head towards him.  He had promised to be there, and even though it was her fault, he'd broken that promise.  She'd proven that that wasn't always going to be the case, no matter how hard they tried.  Shit happened.

Well, this was going terribly. Phox's stomach immediately dropped, feeling all over again like he had back when he'd first arrived. He let her talk, listening and staying silent to let her speak her mind. She had every right to. Even when she asked her final question, he let the silence linger in case there was anything more, then he took a deep breath.

I don't, he replied, and I never will. Even if he lost sight in his other eye, he still would still know what the world looked like. Fennec would never even have that small advantage. None of us can promise to be here until the end of time, but we can promise to be here as much as we can.

He knew that wasn't a great answer, but it was the truth. As much as he could, he would be there for Figment and Fennec.

We all need help in this world. I wouldn't have survived if it hadn't been for Figment, Raven, and the other wolves of the Frosthawks. You might have to lean on others a little more often, Fennec, but that doesn't make you any less strong.

He couldn't fix this for her.  She knew it, she'd known it all along, but she'd needed to tell someone anyway, and dad had always been easier to talk to about this sort of thing.  She'd never had to even consider this fear before she'd ended up alone - as a kid it hadn't crossed her mind the possibility existed.  Now the fear was there, would always be there, and no one would ever be able to solve it.  She'd need to learn to live with it.

Fennec stiffened for a couple of seconds.  It does make me less strong, she thought.  It meant her life depended on others, that she'd never have the freedom other wolves had.  She'd never be able to leave the pack, find her own way.  The restlessness she felt would always go unanswered.  She didn't want to leave the Firebirds, but her world was so small.  Maybe she just wanted the option to choose some things herself.

I missed you, she finally choked out, and like that her wall shattered.  It wasn't his fault and it wasn't his problem to solve.  He was there now for what she needed him for; to be her dad.  She surged forward towards the sound of his voice and pushed herself into an embrace, just as she'd done when she was a whole lot smaller.  I'm sorry.  Sorry for leaving, for being like this when they came back... for everything.

I missed you, too. Phox had already said as much, but that didn't stop him from saying it again. Fennec, like Figment and Towhee, meant the world to him. Being separated from any of them was so goddamn hard. Now that they were all back together, he felt whole again, even if there were a few bumps along the road as they got into the routine of things once again. God, he'd kill for some routine right now.

Fennec rushed forward, and he caught her as she did so, peppering the top of her head with licks and nibbling on a chunk of dirt that was stuck there. He shushed her when she said she was sorry. There really wasn't anything to be sorry for (except maybe running off, but Phox was well beyond that by now). For now, he just let her stay there as long as she wanted to, and the father enjoyed the embrace.

At length Fennec did pull back some, though not far.  It was warmer huddled close and she didn't really need to go anywhere.  She was too big to truly be nestled in and encompassed now, and how much she'd grown only ever became apparent to her when she compared herself at times like these.  She was rail thin and scrawny, but much taller.

Did you do anything cool while you were gone? she asked.  She relied on stories to hear about places she'd never see, and when Phox and Figment had gone out before, a mild jealousy didn't stop her from harassing them for details.  This time was no different.  I don't really remember Raven.  It had been a long time since she'd seen her aunt.

It seemed most of the discontent between them had passed, as Phox had expected it would. He was happy for that, even though he knew it was unlikely to be the last time they disagreed on something. That was just part of being human wolf, though. You couldn't get along one hundred percent of the time. He'd even had a few disagreements with Towhee over the years, including the time he'd run away from the Redhawks as a young lad.

I wish, he answered with a wry grin. Raven's a good healer, so she wouldn't let me do anything fun while I was recovering. Her kids—your cousins—are as big as you now. Though not half as smart, if Phox had to guess. His own kids would always be the smartest, strongest, most wonderful kids in the whole goddamn world. Not even Fennec could change his mind about that.

She blew out a breath, skeptical with his lack of details.  That's boring.  What's their place like?  Are there a lot of trees, like here?  Is it dangerous traveling between?  Did you meet any cool monsters on the way?  She rattled off the questions with a smile starting to lift her expression.  C'mon, dad, you knew better than that.

Truth be told, she just was enjoying hearing his voice again.  There were some sounds that calmed you down and made you feel safe, and she could explain it, but the soft way he talked was one of them for her.  She could sit here all day like this, and while she knew he probably couldn't stay occupied with her forever, she wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily.

Fennec began rattling off questions, insisting on knowing every little detail about the journey between here and there. Phox sucked in a breath, trying to answer as much as he could. It's nice. It does have a lot of trees, but they're the kind with needles, not leaves. Phox couldn't remember the technical term just then. Hello, brain fart. The traveling was pretty easy, but since I banged up my leg pretty bad when I fell down the landslide, it was slow going. I think Figment was getting pretty irritated by how slow I had to go. Did you notice that? How my footsteps aren't the same anymore? He'd been curious about that.

Phox waited for her answer before continuing.

We did meet a bear or two along the way, but we steered clear of them. The last thing I needed was to get smacked around by one of those things. Bears are... huge. They have big, sharp claws that can slice through skin like it's as thin as a leaf. He tried to think of something Fennec might be able to compare it to, size-wise. I'd say a bear is probably about the same size as four wolves glued together.

The kind with needles smelled nice, but walking through pines meant cones and sap and prickly terrain.  She preferred the leaves they had here.  

She hadn't noticed, but she hadn't been listening for it.  He seemed like he was fine now, so she hadn't worried either.  No. It was too long since she'd heard the pattern of his walk... voices stayed better.  What's different?  She pricked her ears.

His tale of bears was a good one, but it made her think of her recent interaction with Wraen.  What if the coyote had been one of those?  She'd be dead for sure.  The thought made her quiet a second.  Wow.  Are there a lot of bears around here?  She put no inflection on the question, as though she were simply curious.  As far as she could tell, Wraen had yet to let anyone know she'd been taking her little trips.  She didn't want them to know yet either; she didn't want them to stop her, though his answer might affect her views of outside.

Curse me for starting two conversations in tandem, lol. I shoulda known better. *attempts to weave them together cohesively*

It got broken when I fell. It's okay now, but I walk with a limp. It's my right front leg. To demonstrate, Phox put some distance between himself and Fennec, then walked a circle around her. Hear it now?

As he walked, he answered her second question. There aren't usually any bears on wolf-claimed land. As a pack, we're stronger against even the biggest single bear. They travel solo, so they don't have the numbers advantage. If you want to come with me sometime, I can help you identify their scent so you know what to avoid. Phox stopped his circling, turning his good side toward her and realizing he hadn't said anything about that, either.

I also hit my head when I fell down the landslide, he explained. I get these terrible headaches, sometimes so bad I throw up. It ain't pretty. Raven thinks that's also why I can't see out of my left eye. Phox wasn't sure how Fennec would react to that. Being blind in one eye had to be a lot easier than being blind in both.

That was why it didn't sound off.  He sounded like himself because it had been so long, but also You sound like Towhee.  Not exactly, but more than others did.  Towhee had had an off gait as long as she could remember as well.

She didn't really know what to make of his admission to headaches, or a blind eye.  The first part made her a bit uncomfortable.  That was bad, yeah? And the second she had no frame of reference for.  What was the different really between having two and one?  Are you okay? she finally asked, a little hesitantly.  She wasn't the most sympathetic of wolves and could be fairly self absorbed, but she did worry.  The offer for bear hunting was lost and went unanswered in the progression.

I suppose I do, he replied. Towhee also had a limp, which would explain that. It was kind of cute/funny/sad that both Fennec's parents were lame. In the "can't walk good" sense, anyway; they were totally rad otherwise! (Right?) I'm okay now. The headaches are only sometimes. Kinda feels like somebody driving a rock through my ears, but Raven taught me how to make them feel less bad and how to wait them out.

“As for the eye thing, it's just startling when something or somebody comes up on that side without making any noise. He felt like he had some relative who was deaf in one ear, but he couldn't recall who it was, nor did he think that was particularly relevant. (For the readers out there, I'm pretty sure it was Wildfire.)

That didn't sound okay, but Fennec wasn't going to argue with him.  She did still feel a little unsettled by it, however.  There was a part of her that had always imagined he and Towhee to be unshakable, and hearing that he was having fairly severe health concerns was tough for her to swallow.  

Being surprised on one side by movement but not the other.  Everyone makes some noise though, right?  She didn't understand it.  She was so fully immersed in a world of sound that it didn't occur to her not everyone paid the attention to steps or breath that she did.  So you can hear them coming.  What's the difference?

You'd think that, he replied with a shrug, but sometimes things can sneak up on me because I'm focusing too much on another thing. I've been spooked more times than I care to admit while eyeballing prey. That had happened to Phox on more than one occasion. Whenever he was tracking down prey or on the actual hunt, he'd get so caught up in it that the rest of the world tended to disappear. In those instances, he tended to rely on his sense of sight and smell more heavily.

That did make sense.  She didn't remember too much of it, but the time transitioning from sight to blindness had been one of the hardest of her childhood.  She'd had to relearn almost everything and an argument could have been made that she would have been better off blind from the start.  She got to see the world, but she had to lose it too.

If you ever need help, maybe I can.  She didn't mind sneaking up on him if she found him, though how she could tell which side was the bad one she didn't know.  Mainly she just wanted to offer.  It would be cool to help someone and not have it the other way around, maybe.

Maybe fade here? I need a new one with my beebs. <3

He had been hoping she would say that, and Phox made no effort to hide the wide grin from his face. He wouldn't have even if she could see it plain as day. Think you could teach this old dog some new tricks, eh? he teased, licking the top of her head. What do you say I go round us up some grub, then we chat over dinner?

Even with one eye and a bum leg, Phox was still a decent hunter. There were definitely some workarounds he needed to learn, but he'd been training his whole life to be the best hunter he could be. As far as he was concerned, this was only a minor setback.

Fennec nodded, and while part of her wanted to ask to go with, she refrained. Instead she'd wait until he returned, and they could talk about what advice she might be able to get.

She didn't bring up her excursions or the worries that weighed on her lately; dad was probably the top confiding candidate of her family, but she wasn't quite ready for that.  Soon.