Redsand Canyon And I can't help it it's the way I'm wired

whenever you have time!

Fennec had visited her gardens that morning and ensured the plants had the water they needed. Generally the rain had taken care of it in other places, but here rain was scarcer and everything was dry. If she wanted to grow herbs that tended to only thrive back home, she'd need to give a little extra care to it.

She tested the earth by feeling gently for the base of the plants, then pressing one dirt-covered paw into the surrounding earth. Damp but not soggy - perfect. It could be a slow process to water the whole thing, especially if she lost track of her place.

That left the rest of the day for other things. Fennec brushed some of the dirt from her paws, then set off for the borders to see if she could find @Killdeer. First, they needed to chat about some things. Then she wondered if he might want to spar. She'd kept up with him fairly well since coming to live here, but her involvement in the soldier side of things had been pretty negligent while she'd... sulked. There wasn't really a better word for it.

She hoped the news she came with was good news for him too. Fennec had wondered if the day might come when she'd have to choose between staying and happiness. While this didn't exactly guarantee everything was completely settled, it bought her another stretch of time. Who could say what would happen over the next year?

thank you!! sorry this is late

His mother's call was heartening. He returned it joyfully, then galloped toward her, giving a chuff before more or less careening into her embrace.

Obviously, she knew he was coming well in advance, but he liked to give her a verbal warning, just in case.

Hey, Ma, Killer said, brushing alongside her like a cat and then pulling away, grinning. What's up?

He hoped they could make up for lost time. Obviously the relationship between his parents had fractured, but Killdeer held hope that he could maintain bonds with each of them separately.

And Fennec was here. And he was here.

They should make the most of it.

A lot, actually. She met him with a lean and a nuzzle. Where did she even start? Probably just outright.

First, how are you doing? Made it over to see mom yet? She knew how close they were. There was still jealousy there, that he'd chosen to grow up with her instead, but she'd buried that hatchet as best she could. Now she just wondered how he was doing now that she'd relocated elsewhere.

Was he thinking of following?

No, he replied quickly, shaking his head. His voice was bitter. And upon thinking of Towhee, he remembered his last conversation with Tierra, and he rounded upon his mother with a frown.

Are you—doing—Germanicus? Killdeer asked. It's gossip. I heard it from others. And I mean whatever, but like, why?

Towhee always seemed less inclined to drama.

But, then, Towhee was gone, following her own new husband across the rise.

What the fuck was stable, these days?

Killdeer stared down Fennec, jaw clenched. He wasn't mad, he was just. . .confused.

XD

Oh, well. Shit.

Gossip, huh. Fennec replied flatly, though she felt the first touch of nerves at the way he brought it up. Towhee and Phox had both been supportive of things. She supposed it was too much to ask, expecting the entire situation to go by smoothly.

It isn't like that. Well, it kind of was, but no way was she leaving it at doing Germanicus in front of her son. Towhee might have few issues talking about her love life but Fennec wasn't exactly cut from the same mold. She let out a breath. Germanicus asked if I was interested in marrying him. At first I thought he was crazy. Obviously. She huffed a small laugh, but it didn't quite settle into a smile. But he made a few really good points. So I agreed.

Shame had her feeling defensive, but she was careful. Maybe it was a stupid decision. Maybe she'd even end up regretting it sooner than later, if he got tired of her and tossed her aside, or she fell into the same bullshit and managed to drive him off too. But she was standing by it. I've only told mom and dad. I wanted you to know too. I'm not sure if Germanicus is going to tell the pack, and I don't really care. But I do care what you think about it. Even if it wouldn't change what she did, it did matter.

Cue a blank, poleaxed face. 

So. . .you're married to Germanicus now? Killdeer asked, cocking his head.

It wasn't as if he was disappointed. God, he ought to be pleased. Let alone the fact that they were shacked up, Fennec had secured herself a prime position in Mereo. And it could help him, too.

No, I. . . Killdeer paused and swallowed, then smiled, faintly. I think that's good. But Mom. . .are you happy?

Because no matter what, he wanted her to be happy.

He wanted his family to be happy.

And he was naive enough that the political aspect of this union flew in the face of happiness—like could it be both? He didn't think so.

But maybe. . .

I am. It had been as easy as that.

She couldn't see his expression but he sounded more dubious than upset. Her own features were expectant and somewhat hesitant. He thought it was... good. She relaxed, but only partially.

I actually am. She smiled, ruffling his fur with a brush of her paw. It's... strange. But I think he really cares. She was aware how that might sound, and that she barely knew him. It wasn't the best example to set, perhaps, but had Towhee been different? Maybe it was good to show that there were multiple routes to happiness.

I haven't been this happy in a while. He'd done a lot to bring her happiness, but he couldn't do it all.

The weight upon his shoulders eased, though the nerves fizzling in the air did not. They remained, crackling around them, but he still embraced his mom lovingly, smiling.

I just want you to be happy, Ma, he murmured, and pulled back to look at her.

And Germanicus is. . .obviously. . .a top match? he added, and shrugged, chuckling slightly. He couldn't help but put in: Apparently he promoted Tierra, and she was bragging about it. She told me about you and him. But I just want you to be happy, like I said.

He sighed, shuffling his still-big paws. She wondered if I'd look for a promotion, too.

Fennec pulled him a little closer. I know. But you know your happiness is part of that too, right? Match set. She'd always care.

She couldn't help laughing a little when he said (unsure, thank god) that Germanicus was a top match. They made a better pair than she'd expected, but he was single for a reason. He was lucky as hell she didn't give a damn about romance. He'd opened the entire thing by essentially telling her she'd likely never stack up to the wife who had left him. Top match was a bit of an oversell.

Still... he'd done a lot since then.

What, you're hoping to outrank your own dear mother? She asked, poking gently. Of course Tierra would. Fennec considered having a talk with her younger sister about boundaries, then immediately dismissed it. It would be like telling a stump to move.

If you are, I'm all for it. She made sure to clarify for his benefit, just in case. If that was something he wanted then he could easily deserve it. He'd worked far harder than she had to be a part of this pack - he should be a cut above her to show it.

I'm happy, he responded. He could be more convincing about it, but he did smile, and wag his tail. He was happy enough. Just. . .disconcerted, what with everything going on—and everyone leaving—lately.

He sucked in a breath at her question, even if it was teasing. Of course not, he replied gravely. I really haven't even thought about being promoted, Ma.

He wasn't a slacker, but nor was he the hardest worker among them all. He was the epitome of a middle-tier man, coasting through life, doing what he needed to do to skirt by.

He would never be a leader. And he was okay with it.

I just wanna make sure everyone's okay and safe, Killdeer reiterated, shrugging, then gave his mother a lick on the cheek.

Fennec hadn't pegged him for ambitious but that didn't mean she couldn't be wrong. She'd absolutely been there before.

Instead he said something that sounded so much like Bronco it fully threw her for a solid few minutes. It was like being tossed back in time for an instant. The whiplash was visceral, but somehow, it didn't hurt as bad as it might have just a few months ago. She didn't hate all of him.

That's what your dad used to say, she said, smiling despite the complicated emotions that came with the statement. She debated not mentioning it, but then that silence might be catching, and if Killer ever wanted to talk about his dad... she wanted him to know it was okay. She just had no interest in being around him again.

And there's nothing wrong with that. Towhee was always kind of like that too. I was the one getting in trouble for making runs at strangers. Fennec huffed with amusement, but was silently glad her son seemed to take more after Bronco in that aspect. She'd been a little asshole most of her life. Imagine dealing with that as a parent?

He smiled, but it was a half-smile, and the lifted half tucked painfully into his cheek. Not an altogether happy expression. He loved both his parents and the rift between them was like a rift through his heart; he never knew which direction he should jump, and sometimes he found himself in the chasm altogether.

Now Towhee— that was a direction he was confident following. What kind of trouble? he asked, trying to cast off the subject. 

He started to walk and gestured for her to follow, keeping the thoughts of her and—Germanicus—at bay. God, so fucking weird. And he was hearing about it from everyone but her, it seemed.

She felt him move next to her, and give a flick to her flank that was the usual invitation. Fennec smirked and fell in alongside, letting her pelt brush his as she put her trust in him to keep them on a clear path.

The kind that teaches neighbors not to stick their noses in. And the kind that everyone else, apparently, tries to clean up. Rue was pissed, but that other bitch was clearly trespassing. Fennec gave a huffed laugh. How was I supposed to know she was from Brecheliant?! God, that had been a shit show. She still couldn’t believe they’d expected her to apologize.

Bitch is high praise, for the record. It takes one to know one, and I’m pretty sure Rue wanted to demote me on the spot. Luckily that was before mom promoted her. Before she’d stepped down too, but they really didn’t need to get into that. Or the way all of it had been a special kind of self-destructing. Killer was probably too young to remember the specifics and she aimed to let them stay forgotten.

I mean, they shouldn't be sticking their nose in if it's not their place, Killer replied, but then the rest of it came out. Rue? Auntie Rue? Where was she lately, anyway?

I think it's all about keeping others safe, Mom, he said fervently. No matter what.

He stopped and surrounded her with his bulky musculature, drawing her into his embrace. I love you so much. I hope you're happy here.

It wasn't perfect—far from it—but at least she was here. And he would hang onto that as long as he could.

It always surprised her, how big he was, no matter how often he hugged her. His words might have reminded her of his father, but his hugs never would - they were entirely Killdeer’s own. Warm and all-encompassing and something she would never take for granted.

I’m really proud of you, kid. She replied, smiling into his coat. You picked a good one. I think this is home now. Nothing was set in stone, but she finally had all four paws settled firmly in Mereo.

I’m okay if you never let me live it down. You get as many ‘I told you so’s as you want. She joked, both to lighten the moment and because it was true. If she hadn’t been so dead set on running, maybe she’d have realized it sooner.

Her pride, Bronco's pride, Germanicus's pride—he really was a praise-driven young man, and to hear these words from his mother warmed him from nose to tail-tip. He gave her a boop on the head with his snout and laughed at her last sentiment, shaking his head.

Nah, I won't do that, Killer teased. He gestured down to her paws, finally noticing their earth-toned stains. Looks like you've been in the garden. Wanna show me some of your plants?

He knew nothing about plants, but he did know he loved his Mom—and for that, he could deal with all the botany lessons in the world.

Just. . .no more talk about Germanicus. Please dear God no.

lol and fade this one w your next reply too? sorry I am so belated!

Sure. Maybe you can tell me if any are dying. Fennec would have known by scent if that was the case, but she also wouldn’t mind hearing from Killdeer how they looked and were standing overall. It was an easy way for him to help without needed the knowledge of which plant did what - though she usually told him a few when he’d stop by. He hadn’t shown much interest in them outside of spending time with her, something that made his offer mean more actually, but that might change someday.

If not, maybe someday she wouldn’t be around, and knowing which plants could help in a tight place was never a bad thing.

With a final playful flick of her tail against his flank, Fennec led the way off towards her garden, asking about his training as they went.