Sunbeam Lair one last breath 'til the tears start to wither

She needed space. Time to think. In that very moment, it meant leaving behind Epoch and the vale’s serendipitous walls—a pack built on love and ambition that she had perhaps just burnt to the ground with a loose tongue and an over-trusting heart.

Dusk settled over the mountains, and as prone to winter, the sun faded to darkness far more swiftly than in the warmer months. There was a certain stillness she could appreciate in the darkness—acquainted well with it in her travels and tired heart.

But when upset—particularly so after the strange accusation Reyson had thrown her way— the silver she-wolf knew she found solace at keeping busy. Her work. Not eager to meet with her pack mates and check on how they felt—surely they would see the apprehension and grief written all over her—she instead went to the caverns, desiring to see if even in the winter, something useful still grew within its protected and underground walls.

With the moon playing upon the silver of her fur, she poked around the entrance at first, ensuring no unwelcome scent lingered.

heuheu

Fennec had heard Germanicus' call, but not from Mereo. She'd been on her way already to the place Towhee had shown her once - a cave full of strange things. Her dad had been on her mind frequently in the past few weeks, despite her attempts to not worry about it, and she remembered there'd been coyotes in the cave last time. Maybe one of them knew something.

It was a long shot, sure. But those were kind of all she had.

It was an absolute bitch of a climb though, and she'd gotten a way later start than she should have. Fennec had forgotten how long it took her to take this path the last time. Shit. She slid the last few feet down the rise in a tumble of loose shale, winding up scuffed and annoyed (but uninjured) at the cave's entrance. Or, at least, she was pretty sure - she could taste the scent of soil, something that wasn't hugely prevalent in most of the mountains.

Unaware of Meadow as of yet, she made her way carefully, testing each step as she moved towards the earthy source. She might end up spending the night here, actually - and that wouldn't be the worst thing. It would give her time to actually take some samples back home.

The night was silent—inviting almost, for it allowed her to give pause and listen to the thrum of her heartbeat—perhaps, something she should have listened to a long time ago.

“Shit,” the word broke her from her reveries—her eyes sharp upon the tawny figure that now slid down a bit, seeking something. The other hadn’t seen her yet (unbeknownst to Meadow that she wouldn’t), and the distinct scent of canyon and Mereo curled at her nose, starkly reminding her of Reyson.

She shifted—the other was at the entrance, close to her now, and assuming it was simply the dark that hid her from view, Meadow uttered a crooning bark to announce her presence, already feeling very tired at the prospect of conversation, and yet not willing to look like she had been attempting to skulk in the shadows.

Oh, shit. This time she thought it as she was startled by a soft call from somewhere near the cavern. Fennec tensed, but the friendly call at least didn't set her fur on edge. It was just the unexpectedness.

I'm just here to gather some things. If you mind, I can wait, but I'm not making the trip back tonight. She replied, not raising her voice but letting the words carry into the cavern. Hopefully whoever it was didn't have a claim on this place. She hadn't noticed any markings but she had slid on her ass for a bit.

The woman startled—and as she traipsed closer, she caught view of her milky eyes—understanding dawning on her in the way the she-wolf shifted in her direction and yet had not looked at her.

“I guess the secret to this place is out, huh?” She tried to crack a joke—her voice wobbly with emotion and she sighed, instead. “Don’t worry about me… I’m just trying to blow off some steam, I guess.” Her eyes crept over the woman, lightly curious, if not hesitant. “You’re from Mereo?”

She was certainly interrupting something, judging by the tone of the other wolf's voice. Whatever steam she'd come to blow off seemed to have her more than a little upset, but Fennec didn't comment on it.

I don't plan on telling anyone, she replied, smirking a bit as she continued her slow way into the cavern proper. She didn't relax until her paws met the earth that signalled the edge of the subterranean garden. Mereo is right. Epoch? My mom is a packmate of yours, if so. I'm Fennec. This wasn't any kind of official meeting, so she wouldn't bother with ranks or titles.

She always forgot how great dirt felt beneath her paws until she walked a few hours on stone. Fennec flexed her paws, though she kept her ears attentively turned towards the other voice.

I don’t plan on telling anyone…

“Perfect,” she murmured with a small smile, hoping her tone conveyed that she was more or less joking. Though it was nice to have it less picked over…

The she-wolf made her way to the entrance, and Meadow found herself leaning against the wall of stone—thoughtful, quiet. At the name drop, she felt a rueful sort of irony in it all—this was Germanic’s new wife then.

She was beautiful. Of course he had chosen her.

“I… assume Towhee, then? There aren’t many of us girls, there, right now,” she offered. “I’m Meadow. It’s nice to meet you.”

You’d assume correctly. Fennec replied, clearly pleased. They’d had their ups and downs, thankfully all ups of late, but she would never not be proud of her mom and the family she had. Even if they were all idiots sometimes. Thinking of Phox, she felt a bit of worry creep into that line of thinking.

If this was Meadow, then she was from Epoch and wouldn’t be much help. Still, it might be worth mentioning it.

Last time I was here, there was a coyote. I thought they might have some clue of what happened to my dad. He disappeared going to visit mom. Fennec didn’t bother explaining their strange family situation. The thought that Meadow might be confused by a brother and a sister as co-parents didn’t even cross her mind.

I don’t think anyone is here though. She paused, listening a long moment, before sighing.

You’re that Meadow, then. She let any trace of her former worry disappear with a small smirk and turned her full attention to the woman who had introduced herself. The one stealing away the Imperator’s pick for second. It’s a bold move; I like it.

Technically she was his second, but not in the army, Germanicus’ main focus. Reyson would have fit that role much better and she would have been glad to hand it over. She was still glad to see him follow something he thought was worth following, especially if it meant he wasn’t leaving someone high and dry. In her opinion he had already taken too long, though, and she couldn’t help poking a little fun at Meadow to get a feel for who the woman was.

Fennec mentioned her dad—and surprised flickered across the silver woman’s expression. Maxim was with Towhee—surely she must know that? “I… Maxim?” The confusion was clear in her tone, and she all but chuffed softly at herself after—how naive of her to think Towhee had simply claimed one man in her life—the Redhawk had already disclosed to her that she too had dealt with abandonment time and again. “Sorry, I get it now. What’s your dads name? I’ll keep an eye out for him.”

Even worse—she was apparently known as that Meadow in Mereo. Inwardly, she groaned. And yet there was an inkling of relief—known only as the one stealing Reyson away from his home and duty… not as the girl who had crushed upon Fennec’s mate.

“Yeah,” she hummed, her mouth quirking down as she recalled Reyson and hers fight only hours before. “I’m not really sure how that’ll pan out, to be honest.”

Phox. Her look when Meadow mentioned Maxim was both amused and surprised. How old did Meadow think she was?! Then again, she knew fuck all about anyone’s age, so she couldn’t really judge. Maybe he and Towhee hadn’t mentioned it.

She huffed with amusement and continued to move through the patch of greenery, poking at anything that caught her as curious. You’re a patient woman. I’d have dumped him already if he’d kept me waiting. Reyson was nice enough but definitely not the sort Fennec would ever put up with in a relationship.

You weren’t considering coming to Mereo, were you? Maybe it could be forgiven if that was the case, but after visiting Epoch, she couldn’t imagine any but a specific sort of wolf choosing the canyon over it. Meadow didn’t seem the type.

She snorted in amusement at the woman—in truth, though, it just wasn’t Reyson’s fault. She held him at arm’s length—she knew it. And yet she couldn’t bring herself to do anything but that. “It’s… more complicated then that, I think,” she offered, though quieted for a moment. Was this the ‘poor pitiful me’ moment where she had to delve into her basic belief that everyone left, eventually?

“I guess to put it simply… anyone I’ve been close with before tends to bail, so…” So, yeah. Reyson made grand gestures and promises—and while she believed he had every intention to uphold them… she didn’t believe he actually would.

Now, she wondered if he even could.

At the direct statement regarding Mereo, there was a pregnant pause—did Fennec not want her in Mereo? Her heart sunk a moment—a shift in panic. Goodness, the Imperator had never mentioned her, had he? Did he even truly know of her… crush? Did Fennec? “Not looking for recruits, huh?”

Fennec snorted with a burst of wry laughter. Fuck, isn’t that the truth. She was currently caught with the notion that Germanicus, with his open honesty, might be different… but she couldn’t know that.

If I didn’t want more kids, I’m not sure I’d even bother with it. Fennec’s tail twitched with more amusement, and her face turned towards Meadow a bit more fully. I’d tell you to keep that a secret, but there’s no point. Germanicus already knows, and since our marriage started with him saying he’d never love me, I don’t think he has much room to mind.

It probably wasn’t fair to share that or to depict it the way she had, but she didn’t feel it was a betrayal the way sharing Ruenna would be. She said it casually, with a slight upturn to her expression, but deep down she was still wrestling with what those words meant.

Did she really think she could live like that indefinitely?

I’m always looking for recruits. I just don’t bother to try and persuade them. Mereo takes a certain type to be home.

Fennec couldn’t see it, but Meadow’s features drifted downward—the corners of her mouth displaying the sober thought of being with another by what seemed very much contractual—and yet surprised she did not feel relief at the notion that Germanicus’s wife was there only as title.

Typical Meadow, she talked to the woman for five minutes and found herself liking her enough to start shipping them both, even if it cluttered her own heart and mind with discontent.

Still, Fennec was a mystery to her—the discussion of pups brought about so openly, as was her marriage—even more, the fact that Mereo required a certain… personality to call a home. “I don’t think Mereo is a place I would be content,” she quietly offered, if only to solidify that in her mind. She had promised herself to Epoch—Tamar and her family. It had never been a consideration for her to move away, even for a man she loved.

“More kids,” she offered—trying to veer on what she hoped was a happier topic for her companion as she begun to drift through the cave opening, eyes looking to the ground for anything of use in the dead of winter. “That means you have kids now?” It was hard picturing Germanicus a stepfather—but her heart twinged at the moments he had shared with her—his happiest memory, of holding his newborn children while Ruenna slept in recovery.

One. Killdeer. Fennec softened visibly thinking of him, but the amused spark lit again with a hardened intensity as she scoffed a slight laugh. His dad turned out to be an ass. I don’t think there’s a place that exists where I could be content, but if Germanicus is willing to at least give me this, it’s worth the chance. It was the only thing she wanted.

Killer is the best. It’s great and awful, because it just goes to show how great other ones could turn out to be. Part of me wishes I never found out, but I wouldn’t trade him for any kind of contentment. Fennec thought about asking if Meadow had plans, but decided against it. If she’d had to talk Reyson into even going, she guessed he wouldn’t thank her for pressing on the timeline further. She was only a little curious anyway.