The Sunspire Who could ever ever ask for more?

"At least you know that they are doing fine," Wraen remarked, feeling amazed, how little she had been thinking about Seabreeze and the two children, once the first turmoil of their decision to leave had died down. She recalled, how angry and hurt she had felt towards the woman, who had broken her brother's heart, and how very indifferent she was now. 

"Did some leading stuff," she began, "and did some thinking. More of the latter than the first, I am ashamed to admit." There was a sad smile and pause, during which she was looking for the right words to say, but she realized that there was no way to wrap up nicely, what she was about to tell. She had always been the one to feel the unfairness fate towards her brother keenly and ironically she would be the one person to deliver another blow. 

"I looked back at, what life has been for me ever since I left home, and I had a glimpse in the future... and I did not like, what I saw there," she said, avoiding to look Terance in the eyes, therefore letting her gaze wander from her paws, along the ground and finally settling at some point at the horizon. "These past months have been very difficult for me, I have worked so hard to provide for the kids and the rest... that in the end there is nothing left for me. If I am not working, I am resting and even then it feels wrong, because I should be on the move, should be doing something."

Her countenance became guilty now: "And nothing will really change, when we move, will it? Once these kids will be grown, there will be another batch, and then another spring and more mouths to feed. I see no end for it... and as much as I love you, Liffey and Rannoch... I just can't do it anymore. I do not want to spend my life in service of others, having nothing of it to myself. I have this small and miserable hope that there is more to life than this."

"I also thought about our relationship and realized that maybe we... I will be a better person, if we do not live in the same pack and have to share the same rank," now she dared to look Terance in the eyes with all the sadness of the world in her gaze. "I hate myself after every argument we have had and afterwards I often wonder, who is this bitch in my skin, why can't things be the way they were such a long time ago. But it made me realize that... that we are two different people and I don't think it is healthy for the pack to see us arguing and it is unfair to Rannoch to make him choose sides."

"Came out quite long..." she sighed and looked away again. "But I wanted to tell you that... that I won't come with you, when you move to Lost Creek Hollow. I will step down and take a leave to have time to figure things out on my own."