Noctisardor Bypass faya

heda trembled, both hating the feel of his arms and finding the touch so necessary that she almost cried when he offered it. something other than the coolness which had always been between them was taking place, and she couldn't even enjoy it.
because of the — oh, unspeakable.
druid! what if druid — what if she found out? heda imagined the ill scorn and horror in her sister's eyes, and her eyes misted with terror at anticipating such a vital rejection.
she could never let that happen, no matter what the cost. gideon and ezra deserved a life completely free of any truths like that, and it wouldn't ever be like that for them unless she or anselm left.
but what about glaukos! she wanted to shout to one of the very ones he'd hurt.
"etienne," heda sobbed, not wanting to give in; she clung to this thread of resolution as tightly as she could while she had it. "i wouldn't leave without telling druid. but anselm — he doesn't care. this is between you and me, please. i don't — i can't live with him anymore. the way he — the way he looks at me. the way he won't come anywhere near — you see him? you see them? they'll ask. someone will ask, and i — i don't want to be here for that."
a tearstained smile without grace fell across her face; "i don't want to be anyone's mistake. but it's too late. they don't have to be, you know?"