Lion Head Mesa ushinawareta-wa

with germanicus dispatched, satsu went immediately to @Ramesses.
his chamber was well populated, and while he was likely engaged in some manner of indecent act, satsu did not care; she barged in and with one look dismissed whoever was entertaining the man.
her cheeks grew flushed and her eyes promptly averted, but her voice rose sharply.
crowfeather is gone and germanicus goes to seek him. i believe he went to infiltrate the saints.
the various scents - of berries, of ramesses, of the toys he played with and fresh food he dined upon - were thick and lending a claustrophobic pressure to the air. satsu pressed on before he could stop her, clearly frantic: if he is hurt, if he is - killed -- satsu could barely choke the words out.

it was jawahir, and pharaoh had been at that veritable and quite crucial moment!
the obelisk of his great and impudent lusts wilted at the sound of satsu's entrance; he found it a very unfortunate response to the woman who would be his wife!
the apex had been spoiled. he pulled away from the jewel and watched jawahir disappear into some shadow.
"how dare you," pharaoh moaned, sighing in frustration before he drew himself up and off his couch to listen.
"it is not much of a war if we go in parts, is it?" ramesses snapped, in a fine furor with his arrested desire. "if he is killed he will have invited it onto himself. why did you allow the roman to leave?"

jawahir gasping in frustration behind him. that gave satsu reason to retch, though she managed to hold herself back, and listened as the man raged about his lost moment.
then to chastise her for her heart!
did you not implore me to keep crowfeather? she shot to him, her eyes storming as they faced him. he became a glimmer of sunlight reflected in her sky. i do not care why he did it, or that he did it, only that he survive it! germanicus knows the way and he can fight. we have others here now, we can spare him.
satsu's eyes watered and she broke her stare.
she did not know why she had come so brusquely to ramesses, as clearly he cared little for her and her distress, and more for the warmth of some vermin's tiny willing body.

ramesses saw the error of his words almost as soon as he had released them.
in smooth strides he crossed the room as if to comfort satsu, only to halt with a jerking step. jawahir's scent clung to each inch of his frame, and the queen had spoken of bathing as a requirement to be within her presence.
this was the price for barging in upon him he supposed — pharaoh would not apologize for it.
"i was." calm had been restored to him. her tears made him uncomfortable and craving in a way he did not understand. 
"what is your plan, my queen?" ramesses asked, seeking to turn them both onto a steadier path.

i don't know!
she shouted despite how close he became; maybe because of how close he was to her, suddenly, and did not hear him say much else beyond deferring to her plan.
why must she do everything?
where was the equality between them, if he spent his hours together with his collection, and left the tending of the land, its people, its customs, its war, to her? except in the case of ramesses trying to impress the other men or brandish his hedonism as a whip with which to swat at the roman, the greek, or anyone he might deem a joy to harass - what had he done?
satsu couldn't speak; she only felt things, terrible things, and futher spun-out while ramesses cooled beside her.

his ears fell back, not with chagrin but with surprise. had satsu ever raised her voice to him in this way? this time he did close the space between he and she, seeking to enfold her against the novelwhite of his chest. "germanicus has gone. he is the best sort of individual for these things."
"here we are well-guarded. we must only wait for a time."
by now or she had not accepted him, pharaoh had returned to recline. "if they do not return in a proper number of days, akashingo will dispatch itself with ursus to find the truth in the mountains."
his lazuli eyes watched satsu.

finally, the master of the sands did something beyond pleasuring himself.
ensnared briefly by his hold, satsu fought to breathe in an even manner, tucked against his chest which still reeked of jawahir; she focused on his words as best she could manage and when he pulled away again, felt unclean.
we wait for the saints to seek us out in our beds, she bemoaned,
and now we wait to hear if my - if crowfeather lives,
but she could not cry about it, but fashioned herself to ice once more, arrayed as she was by cracks in the veneer. leaking softly at the eyes.
he spoke of war.
satsu looked at him now, directly, her eyes a storm and his a placid sea.

if my.
the nasty little sting of envy once more, despite all he had come to know.
he snared her watery attention, and held it for a long moment.
"when i was named falcon-in-the-nest," which had not happened, for seti had said hatshepsut would be his heir, "i was made a captain and sent to settle a battle at the edge of my father's kingdom."
"it is not a skill i prefer to regularly employ, but be assured, satsu, that when the time comes, i will lead us."
it had been a long while since he was so arrayed for battle. ramesses treasured the idea of himself in such glory.

she had to trust in him. what else was there she could do?
i want nyra to pay for what she's done to us, this is clear; she is shaking.
i want her blood spilled, her body emptied.
a hesitation; blinking madly so the tears darken her cheeks.
but you are not allowed to die.
if being queen gave her any power, if being sobekneferu meant anything, it was this.
her will be done.

you are not allowed to die.
pharaoh stirred from his couch and stood before satsu. he gazed down at her with the arrogant lapis stare so often wielded in his favour.
the fragrance of her tears stirred him; she was beautiful in her ferocity and her demand.
"do you enjoy commanding me, satsu?"

he rose; more than that, as ramesses stood proudly before her, he filled the space with his presence. so very different from satsu who felt as if she withered.

cheeks smeared with dark marks, nose beginning to drip. his question did not suit her mental state — and with an exasperated huff she moved to pass him. to leave him to his childish questions and excess.

deftly did she hope to move, but stunted by her emotions, blinded by them; she draws within reach of him.

ramesses was not yet ready to allow her departure. she was queen, but she was queen within his domain.
and so when satsu made as if to push beyond, he placed one pale shoulder before her, holding himself across the pathway out of his throne room. pharaoh drank in the pristine details of her face before lowering his own toward her;
not in some parody of a kiss, but to brush the outline of her neck with his mouth for only a second.
in the next motion ramesses had stepped back, allowing her now to exit his chambers.
the darksea eyes were unreadable.

if before she had ever seemed frigid, it was his touch that turned her to ice; beyond, to salt. at once she wanted to crumble to dust beside him, but there came a moment that ramesses withdrew and satsu had no control over her flight response, seeking the corridor—following it to her quarters where she would collapse in a heap and let her stress melt out of her in waves.