Redhawk Caldera Feel familiar, I'm never alone

I know we have one ongoing, so this can be a read only if you prefer to make assumptions!

After her talk with Towhee, Bridget did not immediately return to the Moonspear to call. Instead she caught herself a few fish and, almost without thinking, found herself back on Brecheliant’s border.

Maybe there were some things she couldn’t fix. Couldn’t even help with. But this right here she could do.

Last time Bridget had seen Teya, she’d seen the signs of a spiral. She knew from Reyes what that looked like and she had no intention of standing by while her friend starved herself.

Bridget threw up a call for @Teya and then waited, hoping her mere presence could pressure the other woman into sharing a meal.

Mature Content Warning

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The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: unalive ideation

beside the lake would the cardinal find teya when she did not answer, staring into the icy breadth of the water with something like want.
the raven's pelt stood ungroomed, sodden with dirt in some places. she had refused the help of her pack and now paid for it, but teya did not want them to see the twitching below her eye, the whisper of niamh's shriek that remained with her; not the rapid weight loss.
she wanted to die. but if she died, her children would never recover. each breath drawn on that bank was for them. each morsel of food she forced herself to eat was for them.
teya had no strength to answer bridget, instead starting to cry at the prospect of being witnessed in her current state by someone she loved very much.
bronco, why did you not take me with you?

It was worse than she thought. She should have known, but she was suddenly extremely glad she’d come.

Bridget dropped the fish immediately and left them for later. Right now she just approached her as she cried and pulled her close without saying a word.

Moonspear wasn’t close enough. Her decision was made the instant she saw Teya’s desperate condition, the hopelessness in her eyes. She was staying here.

"i so tired of being sad. crying. all the time. all time. every day. before bronco die. before reyes die. i miserable, twenty-four-seven. something wrong with me. i cannot be happy. cannot find it. cannot touch it."
she shivered in bridget's arms.
"remember ibis? i love her. we dance. she choose akavir. first wound. then she die before i know if she love me. second. wraen. third. i —" something was releasing in her chest. "rebelled with reyes. bronco loved me different. both gone now. i am only one here."

Bridget was in familiar waters now. There’s nothing wrong with you. At least, nothing unnatural. Happiness is one of the hardest things to find. That’s why some of us spend so long searching for it. If it were easy, I don’t know if it would be worth nearly so much.

She’d guessed somewhat about Iris, after the woman’s passing. She hadn’t known about Wraen. What isn’t normal is losing so much. Happiness isn’t supposed to be this much heartache. But I think you can still find it. There’s nothing wrong with having an open heart, Teya. And loving, even if you think it won’t end well. It’s better than not feeling any joy at all, even for a while.

She didn’t go on, but this was so familiar to the sorrow she’d seen in Sorana. Another girl with an open heart, just like her mom’s, and one who had also learned just how deeply that could cut and bleed.

a heart that never closed. a heart that never protected itself. what she had sought in reyes she had found in bronco, but before both of them she had loved a dead woman who took part of the raven's spirit to her grave.
and as teya circled this truth, almost with a compulsion, as she clung to bridget and softly cried and felt that her life had always been full of rain.
no words, only a slow calming, breaths taken and exhaled with her crown pillowed against bridget's shoulder.

She didn’t say anything for a time. Instead Bridget let her rest against her as she began to gently comb the worst of the tangles from her fur. It was a familiar process, one that thrust her back years, recalling when she’d only just returned and found Teya in a similar state. Only this… it had to be worse.

I brought food, when you’re ready. I’ll be staying here as long as you need me. Both of these things she set forward as facts, prepared to stubbornly argue them if need be. Until then she continued as she was, cleaning her up and hopefully calming her further.

she needed to pull herself out of this —
"all right."
even as she resisted in her mind and almost body the notion that bridget should take care of her. again. she couldn't eat but she allowed herself to relax by painstaking moments.
"everything harder in winter." another cold season in grief. another several months of snow that reminded her of ibis no matter where she looked.
the untangling of her pelt was pleasant, a sensation not felt for a long while. she shut her eyes and breathed, and let it go on.

Teya didn’t make any indication that she meant to eat and Bridget did not push for it. She would make sure that she ate something today, but right now her main focus was drawing her from the state she’d found her in.

Thankfully, spring will be here before we know it. She responded softly, then let silence fall again as she worked. Her heart ached, but she wouldn’t voice more.

A part of her couldn’t wait for the first snows and the way they painted the earth with glittering magic. She could manage the cold if it came with that kind of beauty. She couldn’t deny Teya’s words however; it was going to be a hard winter.

spring; spring; spring and its new trials.
she remembered now, as vividly as she ever did, that she had spent that first time with bridget.
pain in every season. 
and slowly she felt her sensations returning, and with it a soft cry that, this time, she did not hide.
her forehead against the cardinal's shoulder felt far too good to deny herself again, or ever.

As Teya began to cry again, Bridget settled in and quietly drew her down with her, holding her and pressing her muzzle gently against the crown of her head. The emotion had her choked up for a long moment too, and she let it pass as they stayed as they were.

She’d stay until Teya was ready to leave or until she found some rest here, away from everything else. From everything she’d said, Bridget guessed she hadn’t gotten much sleep lately, and that might do as much good as any fish. Either way, she had nowhere else to be.

For now, this was where she belonged.