Lion Head Mesa acquiescent

for @Germanicus
late evening, 50 F
this can be set wherever in your timeline is easiest for you <3

Dismissed again from the pharaoh's side, Sayf wandered near the borders of the mesa. This wandering had a purpose, though: he was searching for Germanicus, as he had been instructed to do. Excitement made his paws tingly as he thought of pleasing the mysterious man as he did the pharaoh, and the thought of reporting his success back to his lover. Sayf would enjoy both parts of this request equally. 

So he moved and he searched, inspecting the ground, trees, rocks, and bushes for the specific scent of Germanicus. The night would grow quieter and colder, but he would not give up easily.

he had come out for air.

sleep had at last crushed him. the eagle was replenished but not in spirit. his hours were spent at the bedside of crowfeather or in a tight patrol that returned him always to the mesa.

in the cold evening germanicus stood upon a low rise and looked out toward the sunspire mountains.

Considering he knew where he was likely to find Germanicus, he didn't have to search for very long. He followed the fresh scent from where the injured healer was kept. It lead him to a peak that overlooked the mountains to the east. And there was the dark man; his sadness was palpable, and Sayf temporarily forgot his reason for seeking out the other man in the first place.

He walked to him, a chuff announcing the fellahin's presence. As Sayf stopped at the shadow's side, his gaze moved slowly over the mountains. Have you been to those mountains? he asked. Sayf had never gone there; he had been closer to the peaks when he first arrived, but had never ventured back that way.

"i know what is beyond the mountains. but i have only spent time crossing them."

the presence of the delicate little beast perturbed the eagle. had ramesses sent a pleasant spy to him?

sayf was not maggie. and yet he felt guilt to be so close. and shame that beneath the nuance of what he felt, germanicus responded to the accessibility of sayf in the way of a man.

he was silent, still.

Sayf took a seat, allowing some silence to pass between them after Germanicus answered his question. When it was clear there would be no elaboration, the fellahin spoke again, his voice soft and even. I like this time of night. He paused and looked over at the weary man. It's quiet and still. Sometimes it was peaceful if his mind would allow it. Of course the only true peace he ever found was within the arms of the Pharaoh. But he was just rambling now, trying to fill the silence. Trying to distract. If talking about it would help, I am a good listener, he gently offered. For some, talking helped; for some, it only made things worse. He was unsure which the shadow would prefer.

talking.

he set his shoulders against the idea.

sayf remained, however. somehow the presence of the fellahin comforted some intrinsic part of the imperator. 

"i must go to war. but i must not seek vengeance." he gave a low sardonic snort. "it is a conundrum of the highest order."

The defiant set of the shadow's shoulders told Sayf that talking was not something he wanted to do. It didn't deter the fellahin, though; he was content to sit in silence and offer only his presence, at least for as long as the other man would allow. 

But then he spoke, and the coyote's gaze moved to study the man's profile. Why can't you seek vengeance? he asked after a short pause. If they were going to war, why did it matter why anyone chose to fight?

"suppose the one i wanted to avenge did not want me to make that choice." 

it was an impossible place to be caught.

he felt sayf's eyes upon him and looked into the sunyellow of the harlot's gaze. "would you go to battle if pharaoh ordered it?"

Understanding filled his expression, and Sayf nodded. I see, he offered softly. I guess that would make things complicated. It must fill his handsome head with frustration, possibly resentment. 

Sayf held the other man's lovely gaze for a quiet moment before letting a gently smile curve his dark lips. I would do anything the pharaoh asked of me, he answered. There was nothing out of the question. He was wholly devoted to the golden god. Would you go to battle and keep your word to not seek vengeance?

germanicus did not care for the egyptian. and yet he could not deny that the man had a head for beauty. sayf was poised beside him. thoughtful.

the eagle thought of crowfeather in the redstone caverns far below and took a breath that swelled his chest.

"i would."

sayf's eyes held his own gaze. "would you leave this place if you were unhappy?"

The question was a surprise, and Sayf searched the golden depths of other man's gaze for a moment before he answered. Yes, he said finally, not looking away. What remained unknown to the fellahin was if he would leave on foot or in spirit form. Only one could make him unhappy, but he couldn't bear to think about it. 

Are you unhappy here? he asked. It didn't look like the shadow had seen happiness in some time. Sayf thought he could see it in the weary lines of his face.

the soldier inhaled. "it is not a place i would prefer to be."

he cleared his throat and glanced toward the skyline once more. "when you are not with the pharaoh, what is it you prefer to do?"

surely even the egyptian's favourites had their own habits and wants.

he waited for sayf to speak. he wanted the focus of their discussion to turn away from him.

The neb was so serious. It made Sayf wonder what he looked like when he was experiencing pleasure. The thought made warmth bloom in his stomach, so he decided not to linger too long on that thought, no matter how much he suddenly yearned to explore the hard, muscled planes of the wolf's body. I'm sorry, he said quietly. It's hard to be in a place that makes you unhappy. He knew that feeling all too well. 

He could tell Germanicus was not fond of being the subject of conversation, so Sayf went along when he guided it towards the fellahin. I like to explore outside the mesa, he quickly answered. It helps keep my mind peaceful.

sayf was kind.

germanicus flicked a graphite ear. "i enjoy being away from the mesa. i am not a man made for such diversions." it was far more polite than saying he loathed the world of drunkenness and harlots and endless malice in two courts.

it was easier to say than the fact that the very air of akashingo clung to him like a cloying miasma.

"it is good you are able to find peace. treasure it, sayf."

Sayf too enjoyed his time away from the mesa, but maybe for different reasons than the shadow next to him. Sayf wished to sooth the man's apparent misery, but Germanicus was not like most that he spent time with. The fellahin knew he could not just simply reach out and begin to groom his dark fur like he might with someone else. 

Could I help bring you some peace? he asked instead. Even it was temporary, Sayf knew it would be nice for the serious neb to find some respite from his current forlorned state.

he did not know what sayf offered.

and yet he did.

"i have preferred not to focus on my body for a long time."

maggie had been a misstep. now she lay upon the top of the mesa, wrapped and preserved beneath the sun.

germanicus felt such a lurch of self-loathing at the idea that his body would not respond.

"it is something that keeps a man from his work."

For some reason, Sayf found himself even more mesmirized by the shadow knowing that he had not been with anyone in some time. The fellahin would be the perfect one to break the man's abstinence then. 

But sometimes, it can also clear his mind, Sayf countered. And then he took a risk. He leaned over and attempted to brush his nose through the dark fur of the other man's shoulder. He was unsure how Germanicus would react, but he couldn't resist the urge any longer.

germanicus allowed sayf to touch him.

his reaction was muted but readable. a prickle of skin beneath fur. a ripple of muscle.

he had not been touched in a long while. the imperator breathed.

he drew away apologetically.

"i would not forgive myself."

a nod to sayf. the roman turned and took himself away with quick, precise steps. and all the while he burned where the fellahin had touched him. 

akashingo was changing the man.

Sayf could tell the touch was not unwanted, and for a brief moment, he thought the soldier would accept his offer. 

But then he pulled away, explained that he wouldn't be able to forgive himself. Sayf only stared at him, frozen and unsure what to say. But it did't matter; the shadow nodded and promptly left, leaving the fellahin alone on the cliff. 

He stared out at the mountains for a long time. He felt cold and empty, and he knew the feelings would linger for a while, despite any effort to push them away.