Sea Lion Shores I'[m] thinking of ending things

Mature Content Warning

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The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: Suicidal ideation

I'm thinking of ending things.
How many times now?
She traced it in her mind, an endless looping pattern until it was cut so deeply the scar might never fade. I'm thinking of ending things. She rose from her bed and stepped out into the light and thought that it felt unwelcoming, like a hostile spotlight, like eyes that asked too many questions. She passed through the territory and met no one. It was so empty in Stavanger Bay. It was so quiet.
I'm thinking of ending things, carved into her winding path from her home to the beach beyond, where once she had faltered and nearly failed to make it those last few miles. Lestan had carried her. She wondered if he regretted it now. She wondered if he regretted that day at the border of Swiftcurrent Creek, when she'd found him again and he had been gentle with her where the world was not. She hoped that he did.
Because regret would mean that he knew now that it was Reverie who had brought him to this, that he would only be free once he was free of her. Regret would mean that it would not be grief running through his veins when she failed to return. She did not mean to return. I'm thinking of ending things. Staring out at the sea, she could almost picture it — the life she'd wanted to give her family. She could almost pretend it was the truth.