Redhawk Caldera Hooooo, giiiirl

In the early morning, Alyx rose, wincing at every creak in her body and the way the scabs over her wounds pulled and stung. She padded gingerly past Bronco to the threshold of the den where they were kept, avoiding even checking to see if @Meerkat was still there or not, and there she settled carefully to the ground, peeking out at the white world beyond the entrance. The blizzard raged, making it impossible to see beyond the nearest trees.

Where are you? she wondered, thinking of her brother's creamy orange coat. Rosie wasn't the type to just disappear. She hadn't spent a lot of time with him lately, but she had become accustomed to the consistency of her sibling. Rosie was always around, and he was always up for telling stories about knights and princesses and heroes of legend. Alyx thought it was all a little immature, but now as she stared morosely out into the snow, lips drawn down, she thought she could really have used one of his stories.

Once upon a time, she tried, but her voice hissed in her throat and came out gravelly, and it hurt to talk above a whisper. She swallowed thickly and struck her forepaw against the ground in frustration, sending errant snowflakes dashing away across the stony floor.

She'd intended to head back to the glen by now, though Meerkat couldn't quite bring herself to leave yet. She hated to leave Bronco behind, even though she knew he was in good hands. Then there was the scare with the bear; the missing Primrose; and the fact that she simply dreaded going home and trying to return to everyday life in the face of her beloved friend's absence.

Thus, she delayed. Just now, she left the cave to relieve herself and pick up a dead hare someone had charitably dropped off near the lair's entrance. When she returned, she saw Alyx in the doorway and promptly dropped the food to say warmly, "Alyx, hey! You're up!"

If Rosie was here, he would pick up the story where she left off and spin a vivid tail of dashing knights and cunning queens and beautiful princesses. Maybe he would tell a tale about a princess running away from her queen mother for one reason or another, and Alyx would relate to it and feel a little better. Maybe the story would be about princess sisters where one was golden and radiant and the other was grim and deflated. She could relate to that, too.

Speaking of the golden and radiant princess, Alyx grimaced when Meerkat materialized out the snow. The warm greeting did little to dispel the misgivings she had about her sister. She'd let the resentment build up too long for it to simply disappear with a smile, and already she'd projected even more onto Meerkat, so much so that she didn't return the warmth in any fashion.

Instead, with slitted eyes, she clutched at the dark heart of her jealousy and asked, why are you here?

Alyx sounded rather grouchy, though Meerkat was certain it was nothing personal. She hardly blamed her sister, she must be in a lot of pain. Her heart went out to her as she bent to pick up the rabbit again, carrying it indoors and setting it gently near Alyx. She lowered herself to her haunches beside it, tail curling around so its ocher tip rested on her toes.

Meerkat didn't want to burden her younger sister any more than she wanted to retell the tragic reason for her visit, though she steeled herself with a breath and replied honestly, "A bear attacked the glen, like the cougar did here. A couple of our pack mates, they—they didn't make it. Aunt Hydra sent me here to tell you guys."

In the very next breath, she gingerly prodded the rabbit toward Alyx and asked, "You hungry?"

Meerkat was too good for her grouchy sister, who was surprised to hear about the bear and the deaths of multiple of Meerkat's packmates. If she wasn't so busy pinning the blame for all of life's misfortunes on her beige sibling's back, she'd feel pretty bad for her. She couldn't imagine how she'd feel if Bronco or Fennec had died fighting the cougar, to say nothing of how terrified she'd been when it got her by the neck.

But Meerkat was a hitching post for Alyx's misery, so she brushed over it. No, she said when her sibling offered her food. She was pretty hungry, but it hurt to swallow. She'd find something later, in any case. I mean why are you here still? You came and shared your news, so why are you still hanging around, hogging all the attention for yourself? Don't you have your own pack for that?

"Ok—" Meerkat began to reply, ready to stash the food elsewhere for now when Alyx said something else. She went very still as her sister demanded to know why she lingered here, then made an accusation that made her mouth go dry. The gruff tone was probably due to her injuries more than anything else, though there was no mistaking the spiciness of her sister's words.

She was so caught off guard by the unexpected hostility, Meerkat was at a loss for words herself. Her ears flattened and she hunched slightly, not sure what to say for a few solid beats. And when she did find her words, Meerkat could only query in a bewildered hush, "Wh—are you mad at me, Alyx...?"

I mean, rasped Alyx, momentarily unbalanced by Meerkat's frank question. Yeah! Yeah, she sure was mad at her! But explaining why, now that was a bit harder. Alyx had spent all this time building Meerkat up in her head as some shining example of what a golden child should look like, a paragon of everything Alyx wasn't and would never be, the privileged special one, that she didn't really know how to articulate all that pent up angst. Certainly not in a way that was healthy or made any sense.

You just... Screw off one day and everyone's all oh my god, look at Meerkat, so grown up and amazing! but if anyone else tries to do the same it's oh my god you're too young but then this grown up amazing sister of yours that's so lucky she gets to do whatever she wants all the time just comes back the second her siblings get hurt to cry about how all her friends died, Alyx rambled, like, hey, don't you think maybe we need our family's love and care right now a little more than you? I thought you were all grown up and amazing and had your own pack to cry to, or are you just such a humongous whore for attention you can't even see that we almost died, and don't need you here soaking up everyone's pity?

Wow. Even she hadn't realized she could be that mean until this very moment.

The answer was obvious, though Meerkat couldn't understand why. What had she done to Alyx? Her sister did not leave her to wonder long. She remained rigid through the younger girl's soliloquy, some of the words piercing her already thin skin and prompting tears to prick her eyes, though she did her best to blink them away and listen, hard as it was to stomach this totally unexpected virulence right now.

What hurt worst of all wasn't being called a "whore" but the implicit accusation that she was only here for attention, namely to steal it from the wounded. A huge lump had formed in Meerkat's throat and she felt a prickling flush sweeping from her cheeks down the back of her neck to her spine. Perhaps if she'd been in a better state of mind, she could've sussed out the deeper meaning of Alyx's rant, realized there was some projection going on here, and not taken it all so personally.

But she was already an exposed nerve, utterly vulnerable and easily taken down by Alyx's unprecedented onslaught. Despite her efforts, those tears spilled down her cheeks as her lip quivered. A lot of words flew through her head but none made it past her trembling lips other than a tremulous, uncertain, "I'm sorry."

It was all true, wasn't it? It was supposed to make her feel better, getting it all out there, blasting Meerkat like that, so why did she feel even more wretched watching the tears sliding down her sister's cheek? Her stomach coiled itself into a vicious knot. But, as with her argument with her parents, Alyx focused only on the bad way it made her feel, ignoring what Meerkat was feeling, and didn't think to apologize.

Just go away, she muttered, turning her head and doing her best to not look at her sister. She didn't like how Meerkat's misery didn't make her feel better about her own. She didn't like the wicked little voice telling her that this was yet another ploy for attention on Meerkat's part. She didn't like any of it, and would prefer not to have to face it for even one second more.

Alyx told her to leave, then turned away from her. Meerkat twitched in her sister's direction, then went still again. Although they weren't particularly close, they were still sisters, and Alyx's accusations stung bitterly. Meerkat wanted to clear the air, though she was at such a loss. She bit her lower lip, deciding to simply oblige Alyx's wishes rather than try to talk through it any further. Maybe she could come back later, when they were both in better mindsets, and do her best to make amends.

For now, she said only, "I'll leave first thing in the morning." As she spoke, her eyes flicked over toward the sleeping Bronco. She wouldn't go without telling him goodbye, no matter what other barbs Alyx might throw at her. At the moment, Meerkat resisted the impulse to go to him. Instead, she retreated back outside, hesitating a moment in the lair's mouth before disappearing into the cold, snowy wind.