Redsand Canyon inconsulte

there was only @Kallik to seek now.

the imperator had gone off into the forest once more, hunting a meal for ruenna. his mind studiously avoided the fact that soon he would be inducted into fatherhood with no template from which to work.

there were no fathers in mereo. even towhee with her prolific family and intentions to add more could not advise him in this way.

the imperator drank a great draught from the stream. he closed his eyes for a moment of vulnerability.

His thoughts were similar to the imperator's own, only he had a tight chest full of panic to go with his worries. He dealt with it the best way he knew how, which was to stay busy.

Patrols were even more important now. Both Aquene and the matrona were expecting and Kallik needed to make sure Mereo remained safe.

He saw Germanicus up ahead standing near the water. He had come here for a drink, as well. Kallik wondered what the imperator would say if he knew he had been right to doubt Aquene's ability to prevent pregnancy. He felt angry all over again. Maybe the soldier would keep that information to himself.

He stopped near the other man and greeted him with a short chuff before lowering his head to drink. The imperator's eyes had been closed when he walked up, but Kallik hadn't been quiet on purpose.

kallik.

there were many things to say, or perhaps there would have been had germanicus been an emotionally eloquent creature. he lifted his muzzle in a silent show of acceptance regarding the soldier's presence as yellowpaint eyes settled toward the man.

debriefed by ruenna, he was aware that the medicus would give birth. but the imperator was not a smug individual. he had expected it. he had planned for it. he was not surprised.

"i hunt along the stream for lady ruenna each afternoon." the waterway was fitted with steep banks higher than his shoulder. germanicus dropped down to walk directly beside the coursing current. his paws sank into the wet dirt. "rarely am i not successful. it is a rich area."

he knew that kallik would be doing more hunting. germanicus wished to offer the younger man his unsaid support. he moved off, expecting the fighter to follow.

Kallik lifted his head as the imperator spoke; he explained that he hunted for the matrona here. The scutarius realized then that he was offering the advice because he knew Kallik would be hunting for Aquene because she was also expecting. Kallik nodded and jumped down to follow Germanicus.

The soldier was quiet as he walked, wondering what the imperator had felt when he found out the matrona was pregnant. Of course, they had wanted children where Kallik and Aquene had not. 

His anger towards Germanicus had lessened mostly because he didn't actually mind being married to Aquene. It had not been the way they planned and he wasn't happy about forcing Aquene after what she had been through, but he couldn't say it wasn't nice to know that she was his in every sense. 

He warred with himself over asking the imperator a question. They didn't exactly discuss personal things very often, but his own anxiety finally pushed the words out. Are you nervous? he asked. Germanicus was older; he had lived more life and knew things about the world that Kallik was still learning. The scutarious still wondered if his impending fatherhood made worry and doubt creep in like it had Kallik.

"yes."

germanicus found the trail of hares mingling along the riverbank with a pheasant track. he chose the former, following through the scuffed wet earth. "i was taken from my mother's side and weaned early. my father entrusted me thereafter to the captain of his guard. it was not modelled to me how to be a father."

he turned from their hunt to regard kallik for a moment.

"are you?"

it was the first that germanicus had directly touched upon it. he realized he sought camaraderie in kallik, whether or not he would admit it.

The imperator was nervous too. He explained that he didn't have anyone to show him how to be a father. He and Germanicus had that in common. 

He picked up the scent of rabbits, and it seemed the imperator had, too; Kallik followed him along the muddy river bank.

When asked if he was also nervous, Kallik nodded. My father left when I was young, the scutarius offered. I know nothing about being a father. Anxiety tightened his chest. The soldier just wanted to do right by them, but he wasn't entirely sure how to do that.

"we must learn together then."

the imperator paused to deeply ponder the scents.

"i am told it takes dedication and consistency. we serve as soldiers and so this too we will carry into fatherhood."

it was odd, to speak of we, in this similarity that he had never expected to arise.

The idea of the imperator's support meant more to him than he thought it would. For once he felt like somewhat of an equal to his leader, instead of a child who could never follow the rules. He was unsure what to do with these sudden emotions; thankfully, he was skilled at keeping his face blank. 

Dedication and consistency. That is what it took to be a father. Kallik nodded. But just as quickly he was hit with intense doubt. What if I make a mistake? I do not want to mess them up. It was more honest than he normally was with the imperator. But he was learning slowly to try and let others in. So far, it had been helpful to express some of his worries to Arsenio.

"life is full of mistakes. if you make one, you must rectify it." he felt that was the benefit of having children inside a marriage: you were presented with two halves of a full reaction. a mistake on the part of a father might not be one in the hands of a mother.

but he felt that this commentary was too close to the bone of contention between he, kallik, and aquene.

movement ahead caught his eye and stilled his tongue.

they would move in a pincer. germanicus went to the right, trusting kallik to travel opposite.

The fact that he could rectify his mistakes was not something the scutarius accepted easily. His black and white thinking didn't allow for such things. If he made a mistake, then the effects of that mistake would ripple out beyond his control and ruin things he had no chance of fixing. So he felt he had no room for mistakes. The mistakes he had made in Mereo so far still had guilt sitting in his chest. There were things that happened because of those mistakes that he could never fix, and because of that he would never forgive himself. 

The movement pulled him from his shame spiral, and he pushed it all away and welcomed the numbness; he needed it to focus on the hunt. 

No words were needed between them. Kallik knew what he was to do. He quietly moved in the opposite direction of the imperator. This would allow them to come at their prey from both sides.

the hare grazed.

the imperator did not move for a long series of moments.

and then he struck. the animal jumped high into the air with its startlement clear.

and then it blindly started to run in kallik's direction. germanicus gave chase then.

Kallik paused when the imperator did, waiting for the moment when the rabbit would notice one of them and then run into the jaws of the other. He held his body lower to the ground, his muscles ready to spring into action.

Their prey saw Germanicus first; it panicked and then sprinted in the scutarius' direction. The soldier was ready. He jumped up at just the right time, catching the rabbit between his teeth and crunching down to efficiently end its life. 

He sat the meal down on the ground at his feet and then looked to the imperator, wondering if he might like to take it to the matrona. Kallik could always hunt again for Aquene.

it was over as soon as it had begun.

germanicus nodded approvingly toward kallik's skill.

"the rabbit is yours. you might take it home." to your wife.

but he did not say it. 

"we will hunt again." the eagle felt the moment was equitable. even. he regarded the white wolf quietly.

The imperator offered him the rabbit, and Kallik nodded; he would take it to Aquene and hope she felt well enough to eat it. 

He looked forward to hunting with Germanicus again. The scutarius offered another nod. Whenever you would like, he added. The imperator had only to call him. 

Kallik glanced down at the rabbit. I will take this to Aquene. He picked up the carcass and held it between his jaws. He would turn and leave unless the imperator had more to say.

he nodded and dismissed the man.

but for a while longer germanicus would linger in the cool of the forest.

he would return to ruenna with a fat plucked pheasant and allow himself some extra minutes with the matrona before turning out upon another patrol.