Lost Creek Hollow But this is exhausting, this love

Two? >w<

Germanicus had announced that he would need to return to Mereo. Crowfeather had felt the warmth of his fear spreading internally.

I trust you. And he intended to keep his word to the silver eagle man.

After Germanicus had faded from his sight, the dark tripod lingered on the edge of the hollow and watched the snow fall on the world outside of Riverclan. He could never believe that his life would have amounted to this. The dark Star thought back to himself as a child. He was glad that he had not given up hope, that he had continued pushing forward. Perhaps this was because he was a coward. Perhaps it was because he knew no other way.

Walking quickly through the hollow, Crowfeather searched for the brilliant glass blue eyes of @Silvertongue.

yes! <3

when silvertongue returned, it was to bathe herself at once and retire to the cluster of communal dens. she tried hard not to think about crowfeather or germanicus; she shut her eyes tightly and tucked her muzzle beneath a forearm, slipping into desperate and dreamless slumber. and she avoided a third conception, a worse one.

Oh, she was sleeping.

The shadow slowed his approach. His pawsteps became lighter. The light that peeked through the snowy trees struck his eyes before he was shrouded in darkness. Crowfeather hadn’t wished to bother her or rouse her from her sleep. He worried after she had seen Germanicus. He worried after what he had shared with the man, what they had promised to each other.

She was his best friend. She deserved to know everything that had happened.

The tripod touched softly at her coat. He drew his lean frame close to her, wrapping a long arm around her.

silvertongue dreamed; she stirred, and the shadows in her doorway coalesced into the soft figure of crowfeather. he smelled of germanicus. she hated the anger that welled sharply inside her, and wound him close to her chest with an almost defiance. but she said nothing, for nothing would come.

Her movements were enough for him to know that she was aware of him. The shadow didn’t want to rouse her or trouble her sleep. Though words and thoughts danced tentatively across his tongue, he did nothing to voice them into the room.

Resting his head on the earth, Crowfeather watched the way her ears shifted slightly. He saw the gentle rising and falling of her waist while she breathed in her dreamful rest. The longer he watched her, the more he found himself troubled by his internal preferences.

Why had he not been able to love her as more than a best friend? Why was he fixated on men- on a man? He couldn’t fathom how he had become this way.

Are you alright? the dark Star whispered into the back of her ear.

"si, mariposa." silvertongue was quiet a moment. "i think i ate bad fish." it was not a lie; she had discovered a trout carcass on the riverbank she had then consumed with gusto, gripped by a ravenousness she had never felt before. "just resting." at last she rolled to face him, chests pressing, pelts melding. "what did germanicus say?" she asked softly, dreading the answer to her marrow.

The shadow’s ears fell to his head, concerned.

I will bring you some mint. It might help ease your stomach.

Crowfeather didn’t like to hear that she was bothered with illness. He worried. Silvertongue had not looked happy in knowing that Germanicus had come to their home. She had been more withdrawn. Or he was allowing himself to heighten his paranoias.

When she asked about him, the three-legged wolf breathed out a long breath.

He- He said a lot of things. That wasn’t enough, he knew this. He knew that he could not leave her wondering. Crowfeather didn’t know how to tell her. He still didn’t feel like it had been real.

He’s leaving Mereo. I- I believe that means he- he is leaving his wife, as well. To do something he feels he must do, something in his heart.

Crowfeather did not mean their reunion. Germanicus had said that he would become a ranger. The dark Star had never seen him more at peace than when they had hiked across the wild land, each place different from the last. With a place he could return to, a place that would allow him to call it home even in long nights away, how could his heart not growth with hope? The silver eagle would fly wherever his legs could carry him and he would always have love when he returned.

Or perhaps this was what Crowfeather wished for. They had not spoken in depth about those plans. They had not spoken in depth about much of it.

leaving his home. leaving his wife. coming here, to riverclan. "i would take the mint," silvertongue whispered, only half-listening now. his wife. his life. crowfeather now to take such roles and such places. was it grief, grief for a rank she had never held? "and what do you feel for this?" silvertongue asked softly, nuzzling closer to the heartbeat beneath the darkfall of his silken fur.

Crowfeather made note of the mint. He would fetch it for her at once, as soon as he was certain she had drifted back to sleep.

Silvertongue asked him what he felt for the news shared by Germanicus. The dark figure considered her question. He had been afraid to respond with his gut, with the reaction that leapt in his throat. It was poor form to think joyously on such things. Crowfeather did not want to suffer with the guilt of his answer.

Tentative, gentle, his dark nose touched to the familiar fluff of her head.

Would it be wrong to say that I am happy? he whispered.

not wrong, not wrong, not wrong. silvertongue's stomach flipped and she knew she would be sick again if she did not seek a complete stillness. "it is the opposite of wrong, crowfeather," the star offered to his velveteen ears. "and i am happy for you, that he came back to you." the courtesan, putting upon her painted face while beneath beat hurt and beneath that perhaps even now, tiny forming heartbeats outside of her own, lives belonging to him her prince of the shadow world.

He held her in the dark and let her words sink into him.

It was not wrong. She said she was happy for him, happy that Germanicus had come back to him. And it was difficult for him to feel anything but elated disbelief. If this was death, he had found his way to the starry heavens. If these were heartbroken dreams, Crowfeather never wished to wake from them.

I think you’ll like him, he said in his hushed voice. The shadow could not be certain, of course. He wished for them to love each other the way that he loved them. Silvertongue and Germanicus were the most important figures in his life. And how could he not love you? the dark Star went on. He squeezed her against his chest.

horrified tears pressed themselves with painful intensity against silvertongue's eyes; she shut her gaze hard to refuse them purchase. "i will get to know him." crowfeather did not know. he had not been awake to know her origins as belen, or what a hand germanicus had been given in her purchase. but the feel of his arms so close around her, their pulses winding; silvertongue could not hate herself for how she melted thankfully into crowfeather. perhaps she would wake from her own nightmare. on impulse the star sent her lips questing along his throat in the darkness, moving slowly, wondering if he would rouse for her once more or if she had lost even that. desperation lurked in her gut.

Crowfeather smiled at her words.

The closeness of her had made his eyes heavy. The weight of his emotions had made his limbs weak with exhaustion, with questions, with wanting. The shadow did not feel as though he had substance. He thought the weight of the air in the den would crush him, flatter, flatter, until he had turned to nothingness.

There was a kiss at his throat. Silvertongue’s touch was familiar. The shadow felt himself shift as nervousness flooded his senses. The weight of near-sleep was lifted from his eyes.

She could not want this now…

Crowfeather’s spine drew stiff.

in an instant she knew. silvertongue smoothly settled against him and sought no longer, willing the tension to drain from her own body. no words. she would accept the warmth of his embrace if that was all the shadow could give her now. the glassblue eyes shut, and something tiny, crystalline, broke inside silvertongue. the star prayed for sleep to come soon.