Redsand Canyon is not pain, it’s applause

His mother was worsening.

Aquillius wasn’t a boy who followed his mother around like a lost sheep. But he knew in his bones that soon, she would go away. Somewhere.

Father? His voice tasted strange in his mouth as he looked for @Germanicus .

He was trying, trying to understand ever since Ruenna had stepped down from being Matrona. He was starting to realize he wasn’t ever going to understand it.

But he desperately wanted to.

germanicus felt helpless in the face of his wife's pain.

she must leave, he understood.

and yet he resisted inside himself.

aquillius found his father outside the door to their den. he inclined his head and led the boy away from earshot, looking at his son when they were far enough away.

His father led and Aquillius followed. He did not know if the roles could ever be reversed, or if he ever wanted them to.

Germanicus inclined his head and the eaglet stiffened.

I.. The boy swallowed.

Is mother…alright?

For all his airs, Aquillius was, unfailingly, just a boy.

his jaw tensed. he looked at the boy, growing so similarly to himself.

"no."

he would not deny it.

"she has great pain in her body. it may be that her agony is beyond mereo's skill."

Grief tasted like bile, clinging to the back of his throat, like the saliva that welled from beneath his tongue and clung to his teeth when he opened his mouth to take a shuddering breath.

He stood, stiff, a statue.

His father was right there but in that moment, Aquillius felt more like he had been fully set adrift. Unmoored, a boat in a typhoon. There was so much he wanted to say, words he couldn’t remember and couldn’t put to his feelings.

Nothing..nothing can be done?

It was selfish, and foolish to ask what had already been told. But he didn’t want to believe it.

"no." germanicus did not often suffer defeat. and yet here it was, clawing at him.

"if she cannot find what she needs here, then she must go outside the teekon wilds."

how could they fare without her?

gruffly the eagle tugged the boy closer.

Go outside the Wilds.

Shes leaving? 

His voice was a sharp whisper, pitched low with a child’s want for this to be untrue. Like when Santa proves to not be real.

Or when his mother has to go far from home. His father pulled him close, reeled him in, but Aquillius had gone numb.

I-Is she going alone? Would the eagle pursue? Would he be alone, clinging to the vestiges of a legacy determined to leave him behind?

germanicus shook his head. "if she goes, then she will take alivia with her." sweet livia, unsuited for war nor the pain of her mother.

his throat felt roughened.

he spoke no more, only ready to answer any more of his son's questions.