Sun Mote Copse Danger days

"Don't get me wrong - he is amazing," Wraen tried to amend her previous statement, in case she had made it sound as if she thought bad about Eljay. Quite the contrary - she liked him the way she would a very shy and insecure younger sibling, that needed encouragement, care and love all the way.

"I just did not word it correctly - ummm..." she fell silent, collecting her thoughts. "Let's put it like this - how upset he really is, if I happen to make him feel nervous and uneasy by saying something out of place unintentionally? Because after all of our conversations, I am left wondering, what did I say wrong and what should I have said instead," she hoped that she had managed to explain it better this time.

"I want him to be my friend and make him realize that I don't judge him at all. That he can be easy and feel free in my company," she finished.

At Wraen's reassurance, the Sovereign smiled and bobbed her head to acknowledge, without interrupting her. Wildfire listened sympathetically as her comrade spoke of dealing with Eljay's idiosyncrasies. She'd had a lifetime to adjust to them, so she couldn't and didn't fault Wraen for not knowing quite what to make of him.

"It just takes patience, lots of patience," Wildfire said, then chortled and repeated for emphasis, "Looooots." She chuckled again, then said, "Just bear in mind that it's not you, it's him, and in that same vein, he can't help it. If you keep working on him and reassuring him that it's all good, he'll calm down... some." Her smirk was small and fond. Anyone who knew Eljay knew he was never truly calm, at least not for long.

"Maybe that's something you should add to your checklist for traits in a potential mate: confidence." This time, Wildfire laughed outright. She loved Eljay dearly, though she knew he was a little bit of an acquired taste and that some might even think her a little crazy for settling down and starting a family with him.

Kind of apropos of nothing, a thought hit her then and Wildfire said, "Hey, we haven't gotten a chance to talk about our families much," even though it was what connected them. "Will you tell me more about your parents and what they're up to these days? I didn't really know your mother well at all, though I befriended your dad way, way back in the day, when it was actually taboo..." And, just like that, she felt old.

"Not too confident - I need someone to boss around," Wraen grinned, though Wildfire was right. Having someone with the same peculiarities Eljay had as a husband would make her climb walls and pull hair at some point. Nah, she would be ready to settle for less as long as the guy had a health dose of self-confidence and did not need a constant reassurement. 

"Ahhh... well, they both passed away last year," she said, omitting the actual cause of their death. "And it was two years, I think, since I saw them last - so any news I can tell you are an ancient history," she smiled. "My parents did not settle down right away, after they left Donnelaith. Most of my first year I spent as a nomad, traveling from one place to the other, until... they found home. And there were my younger siblings - Maia included - born. And there they decided to stay for a long time."

This news earned a loud blink from Wildfire. Had Wraen told her this before? Perhaps when they'd first met? She couldn't remember but she felt a bit bad for asking. Her lips parted on an apology, though she swallowed it. The Tradesman didn't seem particularly perturbed about the subject.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't know," the Sovereign replied softly. "They lived long, full lives though, right?" She paused, then wondered, "What was it like, being raised on the road?" She might have liked that sort of lifestyle, especially during her wandering days of youth, but she could only imagine what it was like. Wraen could tell her for a fact.

Wildfire was obviously uncomfortable with the news and Wraen wondered, why was it so. Was it because Wildfire's own parents had died and her words had stirred up unpleasant memories? Or - as she would find out weeks from now - there is never a good example of, what to say to a person, who has just lost someone dear. 

"I do think so - yes," Wraen replied, though she did not know for sure. Parents had seemed to be happy together, when she had seen them last. And - from what Maia had retold her (in greater detail later on) - they had died together as well. Whether it was better or not, she could not say, but it was hard imagining one without the other.  

"I could brag and tell you that it was all joy-ride for us, we went to places, saw stuff, did stuff, learned a lot etc., etc., but, though all is true, I also remember the hardships. The exhaustion from walking, the hunger, the cold and rainy days of autumn, freezing winter monthts. Days, when it seemed that I would never ever wish to get up, or places I would have wished to stay longer, but we did not," Wraen mused.

"I do not regret the experience, after all home is, where the people you love are, but looking back I do wish that mom and dad had found The Place earlier," she said. "I am a bit of a homebody, you see."

Wraen described the hardships of a nomadic lifestyle and Wildfire nodded. They all made sense. She couldn't help but wonder if the trade-off was worth it. She supposed it depended on the person and where they were at in his or her life.

She called herself a homebody and that prompted Wildfire to ask, "Do you think you're a homebody because of living on the road so long? Or were you one all along?" The Sovereign had been confined before, for a certainty. What was the opposite like, when you were in constant motion when all you wanted to do was sit still and have some familiarity and peace?

"I never thought about it this way," Wraen said and reflected on her experiences both as a child and as a young adult for a while. "Uh... I think that it is a bit of both really. I enjoy travelling, but at the same time I need that nest to return to and have a corner to call my own," she added with a smile, pointing out indirectly, how fitting Wildfire's choice of the pack name was. 

"On the other hand... I spent many winter months, wandering with Maia and I was at home, wherever she was. In a way she is my personal ray of sunlight. And sometimes I think that all places would feel a tad bit empty, if my sister was not there. She is my best friend, you see," she spoke fondly.

"Are you particularly close with any of your siblings?" she asked.

As whimsical as Wraen struck her, she also seemed coolly pragmatic too. Her response made perfect sense to Wildfire, who could personally relate. Particularly as a youth, she had loved roaming far and wide, only to return always to roost with the rest of the Redhawks. Later on, she had felt the same way about Moonspear (until she hadn't), then of course Drageda. She had stopped wandering for a long time following her abduction and subsequent return home, though Widfire hoped to unfurl her wings more now that Firebirds was more or less settled. As soon as the children were grown a little more, she hoped to strike out and begin traveling more. Perhaps Wraen could accompany her sometime.

She saved that thought for later, listening as Wraen mentioned her sister and how a person could be a home of sorts too. That sentiment resonated with the Sovereign. She had felt that way about a handful of wolves in her life, largely her mate and children. Although there were several wolves who could claim those titles through time, that currently meant Eljay, Elfie and Weejay. Although it had only been an hour or two since she'd last seen them, she suddenly yearned to be beside them, a feeling stirred by Wraen's musings.

But the Sovereign wasn't just ready to depart her current company and, besides, she'd been asked another question. "Raven," she answered without even having to think about it. "We don't actually see each other that often but it's one of those relationships where no matter how much time passes in between visits, it feels like no time has passed at all when we eventually meet, and we pick up right where we left off. I can't remember a time in my life where Rave's been anything but a best friend and confidante; she's never given me grief for anything. We lost our litter mate, Nightjar, and I'm not very close to any of my younger siblings but I hope that Rave and I stay thick as thieves until the day one of us dies."

And now she was aching for another wolf entirely: her sister. She dearly wanted to catch up with Raven, though her sable sibling hadn't come by lately. Surely there were good reasons for the delay, though if she didn't pop up soon, Wildfire would have to make the trip over to the plateau. Although being neighbors didn't mean they saw each other as frequently as they'd like, it at least made it more feasible to carve out some time to make the trip.

"Is Maia around?" Wildfire asked a little abruptly. "I feel like I haven't gotten the chance to spend any quality time with her yet."

"That's exactly, how I feel about Maia," Wraen said. "And I know that there will be a day, when someone special will whisk her away and I won't see her every day," she went on. "Quite selfishly... I sometimes wish that that day never comes," she smiled, though she was grown-up and mature enough to know that she would rather see her sister happy elsewhere, than have her miserable by her side. 

"Uh... I am not sure - I usually see her at the end of the day and we share our adventures of the day," Wraen shrugged. "Sometimes she takes longer scouting trips that last few days or a week - I never really know for sure, when she is off again. Then again - she loves kids. And since you have a bunch of them yourself, it is very likely that she will come around sometime."

"Even if and when she does, nothing can mess with your special bond. Rave and I both have families of our own, packs of our own, but we still see each other." Less often than she would've liked, to be sure, but as Wildfire had said, no matter of time or distance would warp their bond.

"Oh yeah? Maybe she's with mine right now." And I really ought to be getting back... Wildfire thought, though she still couldn't bring herself to bid her current companion farewell. She was enjoying the ebb and flow of the conversation, plus the opportunity to have a lengthy chat with an adult was too nice to pass up too quickly. She'd also forgotten about Niamh entirely.

In any case, before the Sovereign could make a decision whether to linger a little longer or go, a cloud scudded across the sun, throwing everything into a preternatural dusk. Wildfire glanced upward, blinking in surprise at the sight of the suddenly stormy skies. It had been the portrait of a sunny spring day just an hour ago and now the heavens looked awfully broody. As a matter of fact, the first raindrops began to fall, fat and wet. One landed smack dab on the bridge of her charcoal muzzle.

"I can either make a break for home or huddle down here with you a bit longer," she said, raising her voice a little to be heard over the sound of the abrupt downpour, which really made the decision for her.

Only seventeen posts to go. I will think of something they both could talk about. :D

"We could go and hide beneath those bushes there," Wraen suggested, pointing to the nearest place in the vicinity, which could shelter them both against the rain. Just a little more than remaining out in the open. Weather-wise the girl preferred snowflakes to rain-drops, because it took a long time for the first to drench you to your skin. On the other hand - it had been dry for few weeks now and a rain was a welcome change. Just thing, how everything would turn lush green and bloom after this. 

Once in the safety of, whichever shelter they decided on hiding at, Wraen thought that they could carry on with the conversation. They were stuck here for a while after all. "Have you ever regretted wishing to do something and not doing it?" she asked, surprised, how difficult it was to formulate the idea with words, when it was so simple in her mind.

Wraen pointed to a cluster of bushes and they darted toward it, folding themselves beneath the scraggly branches. It wasn't perfect but it was shelter from the brunt of the rainstorm, which hammered the surrounding forest floor. The Sovereign wondered if it would pass as abruptly as it had come.

In the meantime, their conversation continued. Wildfire chewed on the question a moment before admitting, "I can't think of anything off the top of my head, though I can think of a few things I did do that I regretted. Although some part of me likes the idea that everything happens for a reason, so even the bad stuff serves some purpose..." She trailed off and set her chestnut eyes on her companion's face. "What about you?"

"Yes - often," Wraen nodded. "There is this backward thinking, if I had done this differently, maybe things would not have gone that wrong," she clarified. "Though, what I regret the most is unintentionally... and let's be honest - sometimes intentionally insulting other people. That did not deserve it at that point. And the idea that they might hate me still for that... that I did not apologize and set things straight, is still haunting me. That, what happens, when one has a very good memory," she added with a laugh.

"Though a talk with Elwood set some past stuff straight - and he said the very same thing you did now. That you do the best you can at that time and circumstances," she looked at Wildfire and smiled fondly. "It felt like having a good talk with my dad. In the best way possible - he has got that particular vibe. To set things right by just... listening and telling the right thing."

Wraen's answer was very different from Wildfire's own. She listened, twitching in slight surprise at the notion that Wraen was in the habit of insulting people. It just struck her as very out of character, though the Sovereign supposed she didn't know the other she-wolf particularly well. Although this very conversation had certainly changed that somewhat.

At the mention of her uncle, the Sovereign's lips twitched. "Elwood is one of the smartest, soundest wolves I know, and definitely a father figure." He was her godfather, after all. "I'd definitely listen to any advice he has to give." She paused, shaking her head lightly and admitting, "I just can't picture you insulting others, purposefully and undeservedly. I feel like I need to hear an example, if it doesn't dredge up too many bad feelings on your part..."

"Ah, that stuff happens, when you... or in this case me," Wraen corrected herself, "talks in a spur of emotional turmoil. You think that it is best to speak your mind and tell exactly, what you think to the other person, and... in the end there is no triumph or sense of victory, rather a guilty conscience on my side and hurt feelings on the other." 

She reflected on the experience a little more and then added: "I think that a lot of it had to do with me trying to control other people, make them act in a way I believed was good and right. And, when they did not, I began to spit fire. Took it as a personal attack on me..."

"That's, how I knew, that I was not fit to be a leader," she said. "I don't know, how to handle power properly. And I have a long way ahead of me to understand that no person is inherently bad or wrong, rather... accept them for who they are and do not judge them."

Her companion did not seem perturbed by Wildfire's request and obliged. Her tale was fairly nonspecific and the Sovereign chuckled inwardly when she realized she'd been hoping for a juicier story. Again, it was a little hard to picture Wraen being aggressive and overbearing with anyone, though Wildfire knew all too well what it was like to be emotional. She was personally prone to weeping over yelling, though she imagined the feelings behind such outbursts were similar in nature.

"Being self-aware like you are is a great asset, you know," the Sovereign mused in turn. "Not many are willing to admit weakness, much less let it inform their actions. Being aware that you've made mistakes and using those experiences to grow shows that you're a remarkable individual." She hoped Wraen wouldn't find the compliment too unctuous; she meant it sincerely.

"You just reminded me of how I once shied away from leadership. My reasons were different but it's funny to look back on that time now, being a Sovereign and all," Wildfire mused, chuckling as she emphasized the lofty title she had chosen for herself. "I was so different back then." She hummed thoughtfully under her breath, ears quivering at a distant grumble of thunder and then said, "Did you know Eljay's actually my third mate?"

Wraen misheard Wildfire's last statement and for few seconds there she stared at Sovereign in wonder - she was Eljay's third mate? Of all the things Eljay was, him being a marriage-shark was not one of them. He was not the kind of guy... yes, he was not the kind of guy. "Ah! Alright - wow," Wraen recovered, though feeling a little awkward for her mistake. 

She was about to get on with a cheeky question of - whether they met the same fate as the Bluebeard's wives - but refrained from it. This was too dark and Wildfire might not understand. The next good thing was to ask, what had happened, but this time it was too personal and, what business did Wraen have in it? People were entitled to have their secrets. 

"How were you different? What shaped you in what you are today?" Wraen finally asked, deciding to keep the conversation going along the safe track.

At Wraen's reaction, Wildfire felt a flicker of defensiveness, though she couldn't fault her for being taken aback. That was two more mates than most had in a lifetime, three for some... but, in any case, if Wraen found it off-putting in any way, it didn't stop her from asking questions. The Sovereign smiled appreciatively when asked about the details of her three very distinct love affairs.

"I was very young when I met and fell in love with Floki," she said. Once, his name would've stirred up some awful feelings, though now he was nothing more than a fond memory from a lifetime ago. "That was back when I was assured I never wanted to be a leader, to his disappointment; he wanted me to be Beta beside him. That wasn't what broke us up though." Again, she was dredging up memories that had once hurt too terribly to speak of, though now she found she could continue the story, albeit in a solemn tone. "I was assaulted and the fallout broke us apart. I actually left him and my pack, fleeing into the wilderness. I was rescued by the woman who would become my second mate."

Wildfire paused there, wondering what Wraen made of the story so far.

"I am so sorry," Wraen felt bad for Wildfire and sincerely wished that there had been a happier outcome for the first marriage. Life had shown her so far that the "happily-ever-after" of the fairy-tales nearly never happened. There was always a story about, what happened after that and it wasn't always pretty. The prince Charming found a different princess to rescue, the beautiful princess grew bored with her rescuer, both had irreconcilable differences and a lot more scenarios. And she wondered, whether she should edit the stories of her own and prepare the kids early for the ugly side of life. Or should she give them hope for the best and let that thing lead them through all of the difficulties.

Wondering some of that now and most of it after she had returned home that evening, she waited for Wildfire to continue. 

Countdown begins. Six more to go for you!

During the pause in her tale, Wildfire's ears twitched in rhythm with the pounding rain. It was beginning to slack off a bit, which meant she should be getting home to her kids. But first, she wanted to finish her story.

Shooting Wraen a grateful smile for her condolences, she said, "Everything happens for a reason. I like to think so, anyway. Thur—Thuringwethil or Heda to the rest of the world but always Thur to me—and I were together for years. We raised two litters we brought into the world with the help of donors. I was happy in Drageda, with her and them, for a long time. Even when tragedy struck, we weathered the storm. And when she left to go support another pack's war, I thought we'd be okay. But I wasn't okay. She left me to raise four pups all on my own and it just..." She searched for the right word. "It broke me. I decided to leave Drageda and find my way back to the Redhawks, my family. It wasn't easy but it led me here, to Eljay, then Weejay and Elfie..."

She didn't mention the part where she'd left two young sons behind, plus some older children who wanted her dead for being a traitor. Nor did Wildfire tell Wraen that Thuringwethil had returned not long after her departure, only to perish. For today, Wildfire wanted to linger on the happy ending.

"The rain's letting up, so I ought to get back to them," the Sovereign said reluctantly, slowly pushing to her feet. "It's been great passing the time with you, Wraen." She did not immediately take off into the rainy wood, instead lingering in case there was anything else her pack mate would like to add. And on that note, she added, "I'd love to do it again sometime."

"Thanks! We should definitely repeat this sometime," Wraen had enjoyed bonding with her cousin and was glad for the rainfall that had brought them together and given time to get to know each other better. This was a promissing beginning to a life-long friendship, if only she had known that Wildfire did not have much longer to live. 

But that's, how life is. Unpredictable.