Sun Mote Copse the jabberwock, with eyes of flame

After Towhee left, Sugar shrugged to herself and finished the rest of their shared meal. Her appetite had returned recently, so she ate every last scrap and licked up the crumbs too. After she finished, she ducked behind a bush to do her business. When she reemerged, she took a seat and tried to decide what to do with the rest of this cold winter's day.

She should probably talk to her immediate family about her desire to go visit Raven for some training. Sugar didn't see why her older sister was so fussed about it; from the conversations she'd overheard, the Frosthawks didn't live very far. She could easily get there, stay a little while, then come back. Her parents and sister needn't worry or miss her. (She figured @Penn wouldn't care one way or another.)

Thinking about @Avery made Sugar's lips purse. Following her uncomfortable encounter with Bronco, she had hidden away long enough that she'd rethought her urge to confess her secret to Avery. Her sweet, wholesome sister didn't deserve to bear that kind of burden, no matter how much Sugar needed the help. She'd expected to feel worse after making the decision, though the opposite was true: with each passing day, it seemed like she grew stronger beneath its weight.

She drew in a deep breath, then watched the steam stream from her muzzle. Sugar rose back onto all fours and began to walk. She didn't feel great, though she did feel better than before. She'd spent so much time by herself lately, trapped beneath the proverbial little black cloud, but finally the weather was clearing. She would even welcome some company, all the better if it was @Elwood, @Finley or Avery.

Title from "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll.

Still slightly shell-shocked from the whole thing, Bronco'd left the conversation he'd had with his mother feeling horribly awkward, and a bit disgusted as well. Having made some comment about Maia, and how he was glad that 'pretty thing' had come back to the pack, Niamh had of course taken the opportunity to sit her son down and talk about...Things. Which just made him feel wrong. This wasn't something he wanted to talk about with his mother, and he also wasn't sure what to think about Maia, with all of this new information applied...Now he just felt out of place as he sauntered away, knowing more and wishing very much that he'd heard less. 

But he'd asked about Sugar's behavior- because his mother had explained a bit about female hormones- but his mother denied that. She was too young. He left his mom, not without being warned that if something was off with Sugar, that he shouldn't press her about it. But Bronco couldn't help it. He wanted to know. 

He wasn't actively tracking her down, but when he caught sight of her in the distance near the stream, he had two thoughts. One was to just pin her down, and force some sort of confession out of her- but that thought brought on the same anxious, conflicted feeling he'd felt earlier. He figured he ought to be kinder, gentler...But he wasn't sure he knew how to do that. "Shug," He called out, trying to keep his voice as gentle as possible, but he did hasten his pace to close the gap between them, whether she waited or not. "Wait up just a min," He said, and tried to give her a bit of a smile, but ended up just feeling awkward.

When she heard a familiar voice call her by her nickname, Sugar sucked in a rapid breath. She had been improving but was she ready for this particular confrontation? She couldn't be sure, though she quickly decided she would do her best. She owned Bronco that much.

Steeling herself, she turned to face him. Before he could even speak, Sugar's mouth opened and she said, "Bron... I'm sorry about last time. I was in a bad place." She dearly hoped he wouldn't push her for a deeper explanation but she imagined he was very curious about her peculiar behavior, which was fair. Sugar braced herself.

He was more careful when he approached this time. She'd waited for him, but there was no denying the fact that she still looked horribly tense, and he felt guilty. He'd been an idiot, ignoring her signals, and it had taken him both time and a schooling from his own freaking mother to teach him how to do this right. His posture reflected his upcoming apology, with hia ears softly laid back, elbows bent and tail lowered. He approached at a sort of arc, so that even the path he took toward her wasn't direct. He lowered his head, but as soon as she spoke and beat him to the chase with an apology, he lifted his head indignantly. 

"No, no, dude," He said, "I mean...Yeah, instantly forgiven, obviously," He said, as he'd also been taught that it was important to give forgiveness even if the apology wasn't necessary. "But I was an asshole. I'm sorry, Shug," He said, shaking his head. "Apparently this shit is natural. Your parents tell you about like...Hormones and stuff yet? 'Cause I just got that talk," He complained, with a shudder. "As if Mom couldn't make my life more awkward than it already is." He griped.

Everything about Bronco's demeanor screamed, Sorry! Although that made Sugar frown guiltily, it also made her grateful. He quickly blurted out a verbal apology, his ramble turning the Blackthorn's frown into a bemused smile. He thought her mood swing had been due to hormones. Of course, that wasn't it, but here was a perfect cover story, so Sugar wasn't going to bother correcting him.

"Aye, I know about the birds and the bees," Sugar replied, stifling a chuckle. She'd gotten the talk a while back, since it was relevant to her medical training, but she well remembered her first visceral reaction: disbelief. "It's pretty weird, isn't it? I recommend not thinking about it too much, otherwise you start picturing it." Sugar couldn't speak for Bronco but she'd immediately imagined the couple she knew best: her parents. She cringed a little at the recollection.

"We don't have to think about that sort of thing for a while yet anyway," she continued in the next breath, "since we won't reach sexual maturity for another year or so. We should talk about something else." She paused. "I think I'm going to the Frosthawks for a little while to train with Raven," Sugar offered.

Picturing it? Bronco gagged slightly. "Too late." Even the thought of picturing himself with someone else- and of course, the charming, older girl Maia came to mind first- confused him and made him feel anxious. Naturally, he had also had the unpleasant image of his parents come to mind as well, which had soured his opinion on the subject matter even further. Still- it was something that did interest him- and he wanted to talk about it more- but when Sugar abruptly changed the subject, his mouth fell open. 

"You're what?" He asked, probably a bit more loudly and angrily than he should have. The Frosthawks weren't far away, and it was general knowledge that Raven was an excellent medic. "But Shug, do you have to?" He whined. "Your Dad's a good enough medic, isn't he? Can't he just teach you?"

She hadn't anticipated such a strong reaction from anyone, much less Bronco, although she should've known after her talk with Towhee. Sugar bit back a sigh, wishing those she told would be happy for her, encourage her to pursue her field of study, but maybe that was too much to ask.

"I don't have to, I want to," she explained patiently. Her face scrunched. "My dad isn't a medic. Do you mean Eljay? He's taught me some but he's dealing with some heavy stuff of his own and I don't want to bother him with it. Everyone tells me Raven's the best of the best, so I want to learn from her." Her head tilted and she added, "It's not far and I won't be gone long. It's really not a big deal."

Eljay? But wasn't that her- oh. Right. Bronco- like his mother- knew that most of the wolves in the pack were his relatives, but he wasn't sure how. Nor did the differentiation mean much to him, except with the case of Elfie, who he treated and considered to be more distantly related to him than all the others. Relatives didn't work that way of course- but Bronco was stubborn and inattentive at best. He shook his head, and then nodded- as sort of an apology and acceptance of his blunder. Right. Elwood was her dad, not Eljay. Still. 

He frowned when she spoke about him, but he did understand. Eljay'd lost his mate, and now Elfie was supposedly missing as well. Not that he regretted that part much- but Eljay was a quieter sort of wolf, more emotional, or so he'd been told. Sugar's rationale made sense, even though he didn't like it, so he shrugged and sighed. "S'gonna be stupid lame here without you," He muttered.

She smiled, still marveling at his reaction to her impending departure. It was kind of flattering. "Well, that's true," she rejoined with a sparkle in her dark eyes, "but I'll come back. And when I do, I'll probably be able to call myself an official medic." That thought made excitement bloom in her chest. This field trip would be good for her on several levels, though she was truly most excited about learning from a guru.

Sugar paused, considering something. She was toying with the idea of inviting Avery to accompany her. If she intended to go further and be gone longer, she would probably beg her sister to come along. But since this was only a temporary vocation, she wasn't sure she should uproot Avery for no good reason, even briefly. She supposed she could always issue an invitation and leave the decision up to Avery.

And she could extend the same courtesy to Bronco. "Nothing's stopping you from visiting them too, if you want."

It sounded to Bronco like Sugar was going to do the right thing- to get the right training and become an even bigger asset to the pack. The future seemed so bright for her- an aspiring medic, with two parents, loads of siblings, and the admiration of all those around her. Bronco was the bane of his mother's existance, and had yet to apply himself truly to anything. "Maybe by the time you get back...I'll have become something myself," He said, and shrugged. "Or I'll just get all fat and lazy." He said, a little flatly. He didn't want Sugar to leave, and part of him wanted to guilt her into staying...But he knew that the threat of him simply doing nothing and getting fat and lazy was too preposterous to work. 

"I could visit," He said softly, and shrugged. "Maybe I could be a scout, I dunno." He said. He was making a small, albeit somewhat half-hearted attempt to support his friend, but it hurt to imagine her leaving, even if only for a little while.

She sensed insecurity behind his words, though she wasn't really sure what to say to help him. He made an offhanded remark about becoming a scout and Sugar chose to respond to this. "Maybe. My mom used to be a scout when she was younger. You should hear some of her stories." She paused, pondering the next thought in her queue, and almost decided against voicing it. It seemed counterproductive, though what was she if not honest? "To tell you the truth, I don't really understand how scouting helps the pack. It seems like a trade more suited to loners."

But she couldn't simply say that and not come back with a suggestion of some kind. "If you like roaming, though, what about being a tracker? I don't know if you're any good at hunting but trackers follow herds. It sounds a lot like scouting to me, with the added bonus of helping feed the pack." Naturally, that didn't lend itself to visiting the Frosthawks, though Sugar was perfectly happy to shift the focus off her imminent departure and shine the spotlight on Bronco's prospects instead.

Bronco's feelings were hurt when Sugar confessed her feelings about the scouting trade...He'd hoped that she might be happy for him, or admire him for taking on such a daring trade. For him, it meant travelling far and wide, making contact with other packs, finding out information and scouting to see where prey was al wrapped into one. He thought it was bold, as a wolf travelling alone would have to both defend and feed themselves, but as Sugar suggested...What he considered to be a scout's business was also pretty much just what lone wolves did. And for some reason, he looked down upon loners as vagabonds who were more or less just being selfish and useless, for not contributing to a pack. 

He looked at the ground, and shrugged at her suggestion. Of all the tasks he imagined a scout had, he'd always figured that tracking deer was a scout trade- not a hunter trade. He didn't want to be just another hunter- so many wolves were already doing that, and Bronco wanted to do something that set him apart from the rest. With Finley being an expert scout...Maybe that wasn't unique enough, either. "I dunno. I just wanna do something cool. Something that like...Not everyone else is." He admitted.

Sugar's brow furrowed at his disheartened reply. She didn't really understand his motivations. He should do what he wanted to do in some capacity that helped serve the pack. What did it matter what anyone else was doing? And how could a trade be considered "cool"?

Judging by the turn this conversation had taken (and Bronco's tanking mood), Sugar decided maybe honesty wasn't the best policy right now, at least not with such frankness. "What are your favorite hobbies?" she pressed. Maybe they could start there and figure out some ideas how he could them them into some sort of activity for the greater good.

She seemed to be offering guidance, something Bronco would really only accept from a select few wolves...Fortunately, Sugar was very high on the list of wolves who could actually counsel Bronco. He thought for a moment about his interests with a furrowed brow, and found himself becoming a bit more disappointed. He'd wanted to be a guardian just like his mom when he'd been younger- but now it just seemed so pedestrian. He also didn't understand why he felt the need to do something that would get him noticed- but then again, few teens are really conscious of their building angst when it first begins to hit. 

"I like sparring. But this is a peaceful pack. And my Dad got killed defending the borders. Doesn't seem like such a cool job to me." He said bleakly. "I'm hungry all the time but this famine is lame. I track every day, but there's so little to be found, that it just gets super frustrating." He said. "I kind of just want to go out somewhere...But I'd prolly just starve." He concluded.

If not for the reminder about Colt's fate, Sugar might have suggested he pursue sparring anyway. They were a peaceful sort, though they still needed protection. She grimaced when he mentioned his dad though. It put all sorts of violent images in her mind, which made her pulse begin to race. She took a deep breath and did her best to push that all aside. But she definitely wasn't going to encourage Bronco to take up a trade that might end up killing him.

"Maybe you could use some new scenery too," Sugar found herself thinking out loud, when an idea hit her out of nowhere. "What if you did come visit the Frosthawks too... but I won't give you any directions and you have to track me there. I'm hoping to leave in a few days, you could set out a little bit after that. It might be good experience. And you don't have to stay there if you don't want to."

Sugar's idea wasn't one that Bronco hadn't considered before, and he frowned slightly at the thought of leaving. At first, of course, he thought 'change of scenery' meant leaving...The same way that Nellie had. He opened his mouth to bring that same thought up, and to yet again rain on Sugar's suggestions by stating that he couldn't leave, as it would probably tip his mother over the edge. He felt obliged to stay, for his mother's sanity, and more out of moral obligation than affinity. But when Sugar suggested that he track her as a means of practicing the art, his lips loosened, and he pouted in consideration. 

He was surprised at the thought, but he liked the idea. The corners of his lips turned down thoughtfully, and he nodded, eyebrows raised. "That's actually...A pretty good idea." He admitted. He felt a bit of relief, now having at least one option before him. "I'll have to...Make sure it's cool that I go," so yes, he still had to pass the idea by his Mom, and by Wraen, to make sure they were alright with one of their guardians going off on a mission "But...I can't see anyone being against me going off on a training mission." He said. "An' besides. I want to make sure you get there," He said, concern edging into his voice. Last time she'd disappeared, even for a short time, she'd come back...Different. "Safe and sound." He said. His tone was still low and quiet. Now that he thought about it...Did he want to risk having anything happen to her again?

"What would you think...If maybe I escorted you there instead? That'd be kind of mercenary-ish, wouldn't it?" He asked. "And then I can take whatever messages Raven and Quixote might have, and track my way back...That way I get to do a bit of mercenary stuff, and scout stuff?" He asked. It wasn't a bad proposal; and it was a thinly veiled attempt at trying to convince her to allow him to guard her as she travelled- but at least it came from a place of concern. Tracking her there was all well and good- but it couldn't prevent anything from happening...And he already had the feeling that something had happened to her once. He wasn't willing to let that happen again.

She remained mum as he went through the various states of thinking out loud, only speaking up when Bronco asked her a direct question. "Aye, that'd be fine." Sugar's response felt weirdly brief compared to everything he'd said, though there was nothing more to it. She shot him a small smile and a wave of her tail, suddenly very glad she'd been recovering so well lately. Sugar's head space during their last encounter compared to today was like night and day.

"I still need to talk to everyone, namely my parents. I'm sure you need to talk to your mom too. We can meet up again soon to finalize our plan. Remember, I want to leave soon, maybe in four or five days."

He was relieved that Sugar accepted his suggestion- he'd been fearful that if she turned him down, it might be an indication that she still didn't trust him, but that her judgement was also skewed enough that it would make her think his company was less preferable than simply going out and risking it on her own. She was a smart wolf- probably a lot more rational than he was- so it shouldn't have surprised him all that much when she decided to allow him to tag along. Maybe she was doing it because she thought it would help him- so perhaps it was out of pity that she agreed- but Bronco didn't care. He just wanted to see her get to the Frosthawks safe and sound. 

"That should be Okay. I really don't see any reason why Mom'd have a problem with me escorting you there. Only thing she'd worry about is if I wasn't coming back...But I will," He said.

"I don't think we'll get much push back," she agreed, hoping they were right. The last thing Sugar wanted to cause was dissonance among her family members. "We're not leaving forever, not even me," she thought out loud, tail twitching. "It's not far and we'll be among family." It seemed an airtight case to her.

"I'll catch up with you later," were Sugar's parting words before she moved off to locate her parents and sister. Despite her confidence that they wouldn't take issue with the field trip, she still felt her pulse thrum a little nervously as she prepared herself for the conversation.