The Sunspire obvious

actually located @ sheepeater cliff! first leg of their journey! backdated!

 

Hydra was thrilled Rian was returning with her. Even if it was short-term, her romantic teenaged heart raced at the idea. Though Rian had been jaded time in and time out by life, Hydra had not—even with this incident with Rannoch. To her knowledge, he was alive... and healing. As they climbed, Hydra and Rian spoke at intervals; their silence was comfortable, too. Knowing he fret over his brother, Hydra, as they descended the steep cliffs she had climbed up to get here, thought to say: she doesn't have much faith in herself, but she healed one of my packmates who had been struck by a bear. I think he will be okay, she said. Hydra hated to see those she liked worry (not caring for strangers, and all), but she hated especially to see Rian worry. 

To distract him, as she expertly bounded downward a couple of steps, she asked: how have you been? He looked well, she thought. Rian was terribly handsome, and Hydra felt, for the first time, uncertain. He made her stomach feel as though there were dozens of things about to take flight. Hydra was a confident warrior, but when it came to guys... guys she fancied (of which there was one, not that she was even aware of her feelings for the male before her), she hadn't the slightest idea of what the heck to do. The sure-footed woman found herself literally stumbling on the face of a rock she'd never have tripped over if she wasn't so darn distracted by tall, tawny, and handsome walking so near to her. Bashfully, she looked back to him, whoops, ugh.

While it was mostly Hydra who incited the conversations, Rian wasn't making any attempts to preserve the silence. It kept his mind occupied from all the possibilities that hinged on a small handful of unknowns—Rannoch's health, and Cypress' whereabouts the key points in his, admittedly, small list of primary concerns. The overarching worry that nagged at him as they traveled further and further from the Vale was: had he done the right thing in leaving them? Or did his duty to the Vale, and the pack that they'd founded, superseed the primary objective of protecting his brothers? He couldn't say, and the ranger didn't feel right bringing it up with Hydra just yet. Talk to Rannoch, then figure it out. 

His ears twisted forward as she began to talk about Lyra—in this moment, anything that Hydra's sister could do to help his brother would be nothing short of a miracle. The former Beta didn't peg his friend as someone who embelleshed on the truth, so if Rannoch was as bad as she said he was, it wasn't a good situation. His nose flared as he inhaled a great breath, and exhaled it as a sigh. "Yeah, I trust you." He said softly, as if afraid any commentary on his brother's condition would cause it to somehow worsen.

But before he could fall into yet another downswing of anxiety, Hydra bounded down the slope with all the finesse of a mountain goat, and the grace of a deer. There was a second in which he forgot to breathe—the ripple of her corded muscle caused the inky black of her fur to catch just the barest bit of soft light from the overcast sky. Talent aside, she was impressive and his maturing mind couldn't help but be drawn to the more physical aspects of his friend. Her eyes returned to his own as she lobbed a question his way, and he hesitated mid-step as heat bloomed across his chest, and up to his face.

Rian swallowed, and almost managed a response when Hydra's form jerked awkwardly. Fear flashed down his spine like a lightning strike, and he moved in to assist but she was able to right herself before he could reach out. He stopped short, closer than before, and flicked his ears back in a nervous motion. "You OK?" He asked as he gave her a brief once-over to assuage at least some of his concerns.

The words he said meant the world to Hydra, who trusted very few herself. But it gave her no doubts or fear. She trusted Lyra more than she trusted anything else, and she would know if something was amiss—Lyra would be devastated if her healing was not effective. His soft words were held within her heart, and Hydra replayed them many a time. She also contemplated what was the best thing to do; she did not know how to handle the sadness of any other but her family, and even then she was not the most suited to deal with such a task. 

Of course, as she dwelled on these things, and as she thought of Rian, she had stumbled—before she knew it, he was beside her, and she hardly heard his question. Her eyes were locked on the sharp jade of his, and it was Hydra, now, who felt the heat rush to her throat, to her face, right to the tip of her ears. This close, she could see every shade upon his face, and the sharpness of his jawline. The chocolate hue upon his cheeks looked particularly soft, and the jade of his eyes contrasted brilliantly against the burnt sienna beneath it. Oh, no,—she was flustereld, and dizzied as she had never been, and she who was all confidence and poise floundered for a moment as her heart thundered. I-I'm alright, she breathed, turning on her heel and tearing her gaze away. She began to move again, slower this time. Hydra liked this proximity, this nearness, and thought she'd like to keep it... though wondered if that was smart, given how distracted she felt.

Are you okay? She asked, peering over her shoulder coyly, in a manner she knew Alya would be proud of—her recovery was swift as she warred against herself and these tingling sensations that had taken root in her toes. Are you okay—what a stupid question! You were the one who fell!

The proximity to her was suddenly, and keenly, felt by both parties, though Rian's reaction was a bit more subdued and far more delayed than Hydra's own. Rannoch was his primary concern, and any moment of silence was spent thinking about what outcome was most likely, and how to justify any actions taken for his brother. This, however, superceeded every thread of thought except one. He'd come to her aid by instinct alone, but there was no flare of anxiety that told him to retreat now that there was no sign of injury—he hovered for a second too long, until she broke the silence with words carried by an exhaled breath. 

There'd never been a time Rian had known Hydra, in dreams and in person, to faulter. But she did, stammering out a soft reply as she suddenly tore her gaze away and continued down the slope at an albeit slower pace only to pause and lob a coy glance over the sleek curve of her shoulder. He perked both ears, though one swung by the wayside again as he struggled to sort the awkward mess of emotions that fought for purchase. Was he okay? What did it matter when Rannoch was hurt, and Northstar Vale was without it's leaders...

"It'll be fine." He replied, not realizing he addressed the problem on a whole, as he descended the slop to fall in step beside her. Within seconds, he managed to time the beat of his own stride to her own—though he was only slightly bigger than she was, he was significantly more stout than his agile friend so the difference was not such a struggle. Rian sighed, "I'm... not Rannoch's second anymore. I stepped down. I wasn't ready for it, all the responsibilty. Been scouting the remote borders, and warning off other predators." He admitted. "I don't know if Cypress, or someone, told you but... yeah. So I don't know what's going to happen if Rannoch can't come back anytime soon, or..."

He swallowed, and stopped himself before his rampant anxiety wrested control of his mouth. "Thanks for, well... not hating me, I guess."  Where had all that come from?

Soon enough he was alongside her. She felt him there, and they moved in tandem together. His admittance came as a surprise to her. She had not heard of this news, though she supposed neither Rannoch nor Cypress saw reason to share it with her given their pack politics were none of her business, even if she was, unbeknownst to anyone, personally invested in one member of theirs in particular. As he explained, Hydra remained respectfully silent and thought on things he said. She supposed for the leaders of the "brat pack", as she had heard them called, responsibility had been thrust upon them. Maybe none of their leaders, at the time, had been ready? Hydra had been groomed for leadership, and had fallen into her position naturally. Both her mother and father led Moonspear—it was natural that one of their children follow in their footsteps, and take some responsibility for herself when she was able to. 

No one told me, she responded when he had fallen silent to begin with, ears flicking. She had always assumed he was in his station; Hydra had never been given a reason not to think as much of him... though her father had as she recalled, held a low opinion of him. As far as what happens if they're not there, well, that's not your responsibility anymore, if you don't want it to be, her eyes moved to his face, her blue eyes warm. Your life is your own. I know that if my family were to move, a location means nothing to me—home is where the heart is. Where is your heart? She asked, ears twisted atop her crown. Was it with Rannoch? Cypress? One of the two they had among them. 

When he next spoke again, Hydra was caught off-guard. How could I hate you? she said with a laugh, before continuing, I understand you, she explained. I was made Beta of Moonspear. I could not travel freely either, and so for the first time, Hydra extended empathy toward another. But I had wanted to see you—I mean, I had wanted to let you know what happened to Rannoch, she breathed, turning from him and feeling heat rise to her cheeks as she nearly gave herself away. Hydra had thought about him a lot, in her idle moments and when she slept—she had never forgotten him.

Ambition to belong and make his mark on something had initially driven Rian to challenge Rannoch's claim to leadership. It was that determination that had won him a place as his brother's second—not above Cypress, of course. No one could claim to be above the eiodlon in importance to their grayscale alpha (except maybe Liffey), and Rian had never desired such. He loved them, the three of them, for their accomplishements great and small. But as the weeks wore on, and life settled into the Vale, Rian realized he was still the same, insecure, ignorant boy he had been when he proposed the idea to Cypress last winter. So he'd resigned, and committed himself to gathering information and protecting his family.

He could have never known Hydra's circumstances were so drastically different than his own; that she had, in fact, been cherrypicked and groomed for the position from childhood. But the mantle suited her in a way it never quite did for Rian, and he found a new facet of respect for her in that regard. Their responsibilities had chained  them, but that hadn't altered his opinion of her or the frequency in which he thought about her over on her distant mountain home...

So, understandably, his attention was inevitably drawn to her each time her voice cut through the chilly mountain air. But the reply did catch him a bit off-guard. How was the Vale not his responsibility? As far as he was concerned, anything Rannoch or Cypress considered important, was something he, too, placed on a higher rung. But, while her delivery came as a bit of a shock, the meaning she was trying to convey did reach his ears and he turned it over in his mind a few times as she continued. 

Where was his heart? Well, the Vale would be his first answer, but now he wasn't so sure. Without the Frostfurs, it felt hollow. Like book who's pages had burned away, leaving nothing but the bindings. His ears swept back and he swallowed, suddenly uncomfortable with the implications. He had up and left Neverwinter because of the same reasons; there was nothing left for them there. Why, then, would he return to the Vale without Cypress and Rannoch? Meanwhile, now Rannoch resided in Moonspear until gods knew when, and Hydra was also there...

He exhaled sharply when she laughed, and his eyes went wide until he remembered his final muttered comment. Oh, right. Once more he was drawn away from the thoughts twisting in his head as she mentioned wanting to see him, but clarified that it was only to pass information to him regarding Rannoch; it would have been a substantial blow to his emotions, had she not tore her gaze away immediately, as if attempting to hide something. He blinked dumbly. 

"I, well," He rumbled while flattening his ears further against his scraggly ruff. "You're my best friend, and it shouldn't have been this to bring us back together. I could have come to visit, but I just... suck at relationships, heh." He blanched and inhaled quickly, only to cough as a bit of spittle levitated off his tongue and collided with the back of his throat. "I mean friendships." Rian rasped, catching a few breaths.

Though when he was silent it was never uncomfortable for her, she did wonder what he thought as she did with no one else but perhaps her sisters. More than that, she cared—this, too, was reserved primarily for her mirror images alone, and her mother and father as well. Anyone else and their feelings were never considered; Hydra was selfish, and in a dog-eat-dog world where she was fed nothing but the finest things, the princess was a gluton who shared her spoils with a select few. Hydra believed in herself, in her family, and it was for them she did all that she did. This was no mystery; all that she had done thus far in her life was thanks to, or because of, them. She was a girl who had never been told no to; she was a girl who harbored her fathers ability to hold ones own convictions and her mothers aloof, calculated mind. So it was strange for her to consider anyone else but for those she shared had been given her surname from, or shared her face... and this was something in the moment she thought on, trying to figure out its meaning. 

There was a way she could find out for certain. The strangest sensation of all she had ever felt was when she was nearest to him, like now—she could hardly think straight! It was as pleasant as it was unnerving to her, who always felt in control and confident in the things that she did. Hydra mulled over what he must be thinking—of course, agreeing with the wise things she had said... but had he figured out where it was he wished to be, now? Even her hints had been selfish; she wanted him to come to realize that his heart was no longer with the place that had once been the Vale, but with his brother, Rannoch. That way he could not escape her company, that way she could discover, really, what it was she was feeling. 

When he spoke again, Hydra found herself beaming. His best friend! Yes, perhaps he was that for her, but different than her sisters somehow. Though they would forever be The Most Important, the way she regarded Rian was strange and fond in a way that was entirely separate from her twins. I could have come to visit might have been the message she clung to, had another word not appeared on her female radar: relationships. Hydra felt Alya near her, even though she was not, and she paused in her step. What would Alya do? It was Alya who was good at these sorts of things. 

Relationships, she echoed, her ears perked. Innocently, she fell again into step alongside him, and with much interest she asked him: do you have much experience with those...? Relationships—things Alya and Lyra had dreamt of, but she had never applied to herself. But maybe these were the things her sisters spoke of, and meant. These strange feelings... and a flash of jealousy whipped through her, hot and sobering—who would he have gained this experience with, to know he was no good at them? What did this mean? Was he in one?

When she smiled, it conjured one of his own making to his lips—unbidden, but also heartfelt. He didn't quite understand it, and didn't have the current capacity to even attempt any disections of these unusual emotions. All Rian knew was that Hydra was just as important to him as his brothers were, and that was enough for now. It was odd, sure. He hadn't spent time cultivating their connection as he had with Cypress or Rannoch, but maybe that was the reason. Sometimes, things clicked without any effort at all. 

He rumbled a soft note as she caught onto his faux pas and a flush warmed his cheeks. The young man flattened his ears as he returned the look—why was she so interested? "I, uh," He stammered, true to form. No, he didn't have any experience with it. In fact, it wasn't something that had even crossed his mind until a few moments ago. "No, actually. I never really thought about it. Rannoch and Liffey are close—" He stopped himself, realizing that he didn't really understand the true nature of the grayscale pair's relationship (when, at some point between Rian and Hydra's return, and Liffey's arrival the pair did, in fact, confess their intentions for one another but Rian has no idea ahaha). "and I think Cypress had a friend he was interested in, but I never... really considered anything for myself, I guess." 

But now that it was at the forefront of his mind, he almost wanted to correct his statement. He did think about it. He'd thought about it a lot more after stepping down and wandering off into the wilds of the Vale. With only his mind to keep him company, Rian had fantastized about scenarios that warmed his heart; hunting together, watching the stars, choosing a home. The idea of a mate was attractive to him on a base level, but Rian, in his infinite cycle of self-doubt, didn't imagine himself to be a good canidate for it. "You? I can imagine your status probably attracts suitors and, I mean, who could blame them..." 

It was equally a relief and frustrating to hear that he had never thought about it. Why that was, she could not independently decide. Perhaps it was because she wanted to hear that he had thought of it, but only when it came to her? But then, Hydra hardly knew what being a relationship even meant. The intricacies of it all were lost on her, young as she was. She had become aware of her interest, so to speak, in those of the opposite sex—but it was Rian who had always kept a measure of her attention, for some reason. What was it? Was it his subtle accent? His dashing good looks? His humbleness, which was an utter contrast to her (perhaps excessive) pride? Oh, how could she not put her paw on it! 

But in some way, she had. Hydra was aware enough to realize she did not want to share Rian in any capacity with any one, as they spoke of relationships. Everything else he said kind of went over her head as she reflected on things herself—she totally missed the bit where he spoke of Liffey and Rannoch being close, else she would have guffawed on behalf of Lyra—though her ears did swivel when he mentioned Cypress, because she knew Cypress to be particularly important to Alya and Lyra both.

She vaguely recognized the fact that though he had called her his best friend, he had not said that he was interested in her, or that they were close—Hydra floundered at the meaning of this internally. Did this mean he only saw them as friends...? Well, hadn't he said as much? He literally had said, and she quoted, mentally, "I have never really considered anyone for myself..." and before she could swallow the word or the feeling, a disappointed, confounded Oh, came as a direct response to that, and looked away.

And as he asked about her, Hydra blinked. Maybe, she said, but none have come forward, so, I don't know... There were few that were smitten by the sight of her and her sisters, not that she would know it—and status meant much to Hydra, too, as she herself did not desire someone of weak mental constitution—and this did not mean shy... it simply meant they would be content to kill something along she and her sisters, be it a meal or a trespasser. 

Boldly, Hydra admitted with a sigh, It wouldn't have mattered, if they had—I was interested in you. She was never one to hide her intent, and in her design to have Rian all to herself but knowing, now, he was not interested, she felt she had already lost it all—what did it hurt to tell him this? Interested was the perfect word—the way he made her feel was strange, and she was interested in knowing why and learning more. What did it mean? And why was she so crushed in this belief he did not feel the same? 

Disappointed and somewhat flustered, Hydra picked up her pace.

There was a notable shift in her demeanor that caused him to swallow whatever remained of his thoughts, and fall uncomfortably silent. He was not deaf to her initial reaction—the unbidden shapeless emotion formed into a simple, but subtle, verbal confirmation of what he had to say. Rian was disquieted by her withdrawl from him and a terrible series of thoughts invaded his mind, drowning out all reason for a few moments, as she was spurred into speaking about her suitors (or lackthereof): she'd made other friends; she found someone else, someone far more suitable, to stand beside her on the mountain. Obviously she was simply trying to deflect the blow to preserve their friendship before they reached Moonspear and he discovered the truth.

But where had that fear come from? Rian couldn't deny that Hydra was everything he wasn't: bold, deliberate, and... happy. The ranger had coveted her friendship selfishly—the rare glimpses into her normal family life gave him hope that he might, too, not feel so lost and abandoned. Without even knowing it, she filled the multinous cracks in his defective personality and shaped him into someone that could be somebody. He'd felt embolded after meeting her, and it was that do-or-die determination that had pushed him to leave Neverwinter and embark on their journey to the Vale. 

Suddenly, everything went quiet, including Hydra. He floundered in the marked silence and nearly lost his footing. What? After a few heartpounding seconds, it all came flooding back—I was interested in you. 

Emotions rocketed around his stupidstupid brain, and a great deal of heat shot down his spine and throughout his entire body. Rian couldn't breathe; he could hardly think save two things: Hydra was interested in him (HOW?), and that same friend was now walking away from him. So Rian, the great romantic he was, stared agape at her retreating back and, again, was inexplicably drawn to the spectral shimmer of her swarthy fur until he realized he needed to do something.

He swallowed reflexively, but found his throat parched as he rasped out a reply: "W-wait!" The distance between them was increasing with every second he wasted on standing there like a fool so he hastily sprang after her, nearly skidding right past down the slope in his haste to stop her. The ranger pivoted to face her, and his eyes were wide—for a wolf who kept his emotions bottled up most of the time, Rian read like a childrens novel in this moment. "I..." say something you absolute chode. "Hydra, I... why? When!?" he ecked out despite the jackhammer drilling a hole in his chest.  

Brilliant.

As she continued downward at a quickened pace, her mind raced—but none of her thoughts were logical as she overthought and wracked her brain for something solid. They were not thoughts of self-sabotage but thoughts that wondered at her own train of thought. He thought she was his best friend—she should have known then of his lack of interest, right? Or perhaps by his lack of visiting...? But she had not visited either, and she had been interested... 

Nothing really made sense, truth be told. Rian had been a handsome stranger she had always had a fixation with, and a possessiveness over without real reason. She had never forgotten the day he had helped her home—Hydra was no damsel, she had never needed help before, but the one time she had he had been there, and had not judged her for her lack of scouting ability (then). Since that time Hydra had taken care to cultivate those skills so she would not get herself in such a situation again, but he had not made fun of her for finding her once out of her element. 

Perhaps that was it, though; perhaps he recalled her, out of her element, and could not have feelings for her due to her awkward moments...? No, no, even then she was perfect...! Wasn't she...? Well, yes... 

She heard him follow after her, but Hydra, ever a girl with a flare for dramatics, stormed onward in a tizzy. But he made it past her and was, in fact, able to give her pause; she held one foreleg toward her chest and looked stubbornly away, mildly horrified that he'd need to have her relive her humilation mere seconds after inflicting it upon her. When all he could manage was questions toward her, Hydra sucked in a breath. While she wanted to be scathing, all she could manage was a very brittle well, it doesn't matter, does it? And she frowned as she attempted to step around him and continue her descent. Her lips twisted stubbornly. Of course it mattered—it mattered very much to her, but she did not want it to effect him. It was her first heartbreak, she supposed—she was very sorry that he would suffer through it in these next few moments.

But not sorry enough to verbally apologize. 

Expelling a breath, she looked to him and said, I can't name a time or a place, I can't give you a reason. I just know that I think of you, and I feel... what was it? I feel better. And that was something from someone who thought the world of themselves. It wasn't that he made her want to be better—it was just that he made her feel that she was that, somehow. Safer, stronger, better. It was the way he sometimes looked at her that confirmed it—without knowing it, she would give him that same look, as she thought the world of Rian. Hydra looked that way at him now, smiling and forgetting her embarrassment—until she remembered it. Forget it, she said with a laugh and a shake of her head.

And so she moved to step around him, really ready to get a move on. Ready to get home to her sisters and plan some boy hunt; Alya would organize, she was truly good at this. Hydra wished, now, she had payed better attention... hindsight.

Rian hovered there, legs now trembling where they were initially planted in a rather askance way after his flight, as he looked up at her. He could hardly breathe and, as she turned away from him, he felt immediately wounded and his legs nearly gave out. These emotions were new to him or, at least, a new facet of similar emotions. He was utterly terrified that this was it—this was the last time they would ever speak to one another because he was too dimwitted and stubborn to believe in his own emotions, let alone look at her perspective for once.

Hydra managed a crisp reply and he noted the tension in her expression, and the uncomfortable twist of her mouth. His heart lurched and he flattened his ears. The earth-brushed boy (because, really, he felt about one foot small) tucked his tail between his hocks, but Rian mustered the courage to settle his eyes on her muzzle and watched as her mind attempted to work out a suitable answer to his question. Truthfully, he couldn't quite define his feelings towards her—it was a subject that he struggled with often when he was on his own. He liked Liffey. He loved Rannoch and Cypress. He liked the Vale. He'd loved his family, once. Rian knew that he liked Hydra—that much was obvious.

He exhaled when she spoke and he realized it wasn't the actual answer that he desired—the where, why, and how was entirely unimportant to the bigger picture. He didn't even want to save face; he knew he deserved the cold shoulder for being so thick, and not picking up on her hints. Rian needed more time to work out how he felt now that they were reunited, but he knew for damn sure he wasn't about to throw in the towel. Hydra stepped around him and he didn't make any moves to stop her. He simply turned as she vanished from his periphreal vision and watched her walk away—a queer chill settled over him and anxiety shot like a lance through his heart. 

Rian followed, "Hydra stop, please?" He pleaded, forcing the fearful edge out of his voice and replacing it with something both soft, but raw.

She could feel him watch, and even before he asked her to stop she felt she ought to. Hydra's intent wasn't to leave him, after all—it was just to get a moment of space, of air, to gather and collect her dignity and find a way to save some face in the first significant defeat of her life. Hydra felt silly, but was not ashamed of the way she felt, she decided. Only that it was not reciprocated. Of course that was a bit embarrassing... 

When he spoke, Hydra understood that had it been anyone else to ask her this she would not have listened. Her pride would never have allowed it. But there was something in his voice that stopped her, and it was her ears that flattened across her head now. She hadn't meant to make him feel badly, and his body language prior had told her that she had. All she could do was think I talk too much, but even thinking that would never stop her from speaking her mind.

Hydra did not know what to think, now. Or even really do. But she mustered up the courage to look at him, not certain what would come next. The comfort, the "but I just told you, I saw you as a best friend"—a gentle let-down, as he was a good wolf, a wolf that surely did care about her being hurt...

She held her breath without knowing it. Alya and she could have rehearsed this, she could have told him in a far better way than this—ugh, but she was never one to waste time, and once she realized she wanted... well, she still was not entirely sure what she wanted. Her emotions were muddled but she was certain that she wanted Rian to make no one feel better but for her; she wanted to make Rian feel that way, too, wanted to make him see his true worth (which was limitless, in her ever-bias eyes)... there wasn't a reason for it. It was inexplicable, but it was real, and she felt it herself and could not doubt it, strange though it was. It had once made her feel wonderful, like she could float... but how strange that she felt so heavy, now, in knowing she was the only one to feel it!

A second passed in the space between them and he wondered, feared, that she might not stop. That she had indefinitely turned a deaf ear towards any further attempts at reconciliation. He couldn't blame her, really. Everyone eventually left him since he had the emotional capacity of a fucking goldfish.

But she halted, and Rian exhaled, unaware that he, too, was holding his breath. He cleared his throat and moved through the motions that allowed for speech... but nothing came to mind. Not immediately, anyway. But he felt. He desired. He wanted. This language that she was somehow tapped into was beyond his grasp in the seconds that followed his request, and her pause. It was frustrating to be subconsciously adrift but suffocating because definining the shapeless thing that defined this moment between them was impossible. How was Hydra able to express herself so expertly?!

Rian cricked his tail to form a tense curve, and he drew himself up onto steadier (but numb) legs. Rannoch was not forgotten, but his brother's distress was a distant echo compared to this untimely, but past-due, revelation. He was already struggling to come to terms with whatever had happened to his brother, and was completely blindsided in general. There was too much happening, and he was utterly overwhelmed, but he had to decide. He couldn't just brush it off and ignore it like he did everything else. Because this was important and Hydra was important, just like Noch and Cy. 

So he concluded that he needed to convey that: "You're important." He stated, albeit lamely. "You've always been important, and I didn't consider anything like that for myself because I wasn't worthy of you." He said, gaining momentum with each word that passed over his tongue. "It just... I didn't know what to do about it, Hydra. I spent a lot of time alone this summer and I struggled with some really bad lows and I couldn't help but wonder if it would have been better with you around. Then that took root, somehow, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. But pining for you was silly because I was trying to be realistic—we both had obligations and I didn't even know—" Rian stopped himself, realizing his voice had been rising steadily the whole time as he struck closer and closer to the root of the issue.

He licked nervously at his lips, worried that she might still turn him away for not catching on initially. For not actually acting. Rian was terrible about follow-through. "I'm interested but I don't know what I'm doing, if that isn't, uh, abundantly clear." He somehow stopped himself from including: and if you want to run away screaming because I'm an absolute nutcase I'd understand.

Time is running out, yeah.
Need to let you know, that—
Last night I woke the fuck up.
I realized I need you here
as desperate as that sounds.

There were several long moments of silence, and these ones were not the comfortable short they usually shared. It was no wonder—a lot hung suspended in the air between them, namely her own pride. Hydra watched as Rian struggled, and simply wanted to tell him no, nevermind, don't worry about it—but the crueler part of her wanted to see this play out, wanted him to endure some of what she endured, even though he couldn't possibly in this moment, not when it was her heart that was on the line. In the end, Hydra had decided to tell him not to worry about it—she cared too much to have him feel hurt, and that in this moment it would be better for him to avoid it if he could. 

And that was when he spoke. 

His first words encouraged her mental insistence that this would be "the gentle let down", simply started in a different manner than she had expected. But. That was what she waited for. But then he continued to speak, and Hydra found herself interpreting something completely different. He didn't think himself worthy of her? How did he think of himself, if not how she thought of him? But he spoke on his dark Summer, of imagining her there—all this time, and she did not know. In fairness, neither did he. 

It took another beat for her to completely get that he was interested in her, too—contrary to her initial belief. Her tail waved a little between her hocks, and her ears leaned forward. Maybe you could stay at Moonspear, she suggested, tilting her head, maybe we could see where our interest takes us. Maybe now they did not need to be apart; maybe they could see whatever this interest was through. Hydra wondered if this would be something that he would want to do—perhaps the Vale was more important to him, and if this was the case Hydra would understand entirely. Selfishly, though, she hoped that Rannoch might be his home now—more selfishly, she hoped to become some of his home, too, so that he might never leave. 

You are worthy of whatever you think yourself worthy of. But for all that time you left me hanging, you're going to need to put in some work, she teased then, knowing he had only left her hanging for three minutes at best, and grinning, ...I like wildflowers. Blue ones, red ones, too, she said with a little laugh. Their conversation had been a heavy one, despite their breakthrough, and its positive turnout certainly elated her—she wondered... she wondered if he might share this sentiment.

Rian exhaled loudly and replied (albeit airlessly), "Yes, OK—alright." And then he remembered Charon, and the whole uncertainty there. Though Rian was somewhat bolstered by her teasing (a sign that he hadn't completely fucked everything up) there was still the very real matter of actually—wait, had she suggested he stay at Moonspear? As in, not go back to the Vale. As in, uproot... again. The idea was terrifying. Until he caught her smile, and all doubts instantly vanished. Yes, he supposed he could. It was what adults did, right? 

"I took you more for a... 'bring me the heads of my enemies', type." He mused, attempting humor as he took a few tenative steps forward to reclaim a bit of ground. "But if wildflowers are more your style, then I'll be sure to find the best ones just for you." He remarked with a nervous swish of his tail, hoping his approach would be somewhat well-recieved. He didn't like the distance, he found; it only amplified the marked loneliness he felt without her nearby. Friendship was important and Hydra, who existed somewhere beyond that spectrum entirely, was a key factor.

But of course, being Rian, there was something he couldn't quite hammer out of his mind. The fact that her father a. didn't seem to have a high opinion of him during their only meeting and b. was Hydra's father and, as such, the biggest obstacle between him and whatever these feelings were. "But uh, there might be an issue with me... staying at Moonspear: your dad didn't seem terribly impressed by me when we met a few months ago." He admitted with a twist of his lips. "He found me while we were still moving from Neverwinter, and asked about our group. I found out he was from Moonspear and totally messed up—I didn't make the connection that he was your dad until he told me, and didn't seem pleased that we were friends..." 

"I also might have said your mom was scary but, uh, not in a bad way if that makes sense..." 

Her tail waved at his acceptance of her invitation. Of course, that was not all there was to it—he would need to meet her mother (again) and her father, too. And as he continued speaking, Hydra said with an earnest smile, you know me better than I thought, because she could not deny the appeal of that, and at present she did have one enemy. Why can't I have both? she asked with a grin and a wave of her tail, I should warn you—the man who attacked Rannoch is my enemy, now. He did so close to home, and he attacked a friend. If you see him... he is pale of fur, with blue eyes, and looks as though he has rolled in dirt... or sand, she described. He ought to know, if he was to run with Moonspear. None of their pack were fond of that wolf, now. And she wanted Rian to be very aware of who this wolf was if he saw him—not because she really wanted his head delivered to her by him (oh, but it would be a nice gift to be sure), but because she did not want Rian to fall victim to his attack. 

Hydra now drew closer to him with a smile. 

What should she do? Should she give him a kiss? Is that what they ought to do, now? She pictured Alya and her instruction, and leaned a little closer to him... but then Rian spoke again, and Hydra listened as he mentioned there being an issue with him staying. Hydra drew backward to look at him, as he mentioned one of the most important wolves in her life: her father. 

Oh, yes—she knew exactly what he was talking about. And he wasn't wrong, either. Charon had expressly told her what he thought of Rian. That was how bad of an impression Rian had made on her father, and Hydra looked to the earth then with furrowed brows as he continued to explain it. Hydra looked back to him when he finished, considering everything he had said. 

The past is in the past, she said at last, nothing now is as it was then, and with that declaration, she moved alongside him and attempted to give him a kiss right on his cheek, grinning like a fool. It had been her first one if successful, delivered perhaps a little messily, and she gave a breathy laugh from the rush she felt. Are you be brave, Rian? she asked with a little wag of her tail as she withdrew again to look at him, Can you face my father again? She knew it wouldn't be an easy task, of course. He would have to prove to her father he wasn't a total dweeb, now... but for the moment, that was not even on her mind.