Spotted Eagle Mountain And life will always be la vie en rose

Mature Content Warning

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The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: trauma recall, self harm

Seeing her in distress made him panic. Her limbs gave out, and she was suddenly in hysterics, sobbing. He'd not failed to notice that his approach had potentially triggered the action, so he came no closer- instead, he backed up, but he settled down onto the ground as well, making himself smaller so she would see that he would be no threat. He never had been- and never would be. 

He had to convince himself not to share in the distress. He had to push his own triggers aside, as she was in a much worse state, and he was the cause of it. But he couldn't let himself get caught up in the thick white haze of anxiety that crept in and screamed intrusive thoughts into his brain. He squinted and flattened his ears. The rushing of sound inside his head was like a busy street. He was frozen, disabled by indecision. One voice screamed at him to comfort, but another told him not to touch her. He didn't want to be touched. Touch was bad. Touch was pain. And this wolf, who'd seen him go through the worst of it- she was right here.

He couldn't call out for help, nor could he force himself to his feet to run away and leave her like this. Shivering, he tucked his tail, and set his chin on the ground, as though getting himself closer to the ground might help him hang on in some way. Amid the voices rushing inside his ears and the sounds of her sobs, he found himself completely lost. Mindlessly, he began to pull at the fur along his forelimb, at first absently chewing at the fur there before he began to pluck strands of fur out. The small spike of pain was the only thing that seemed to stand out amongst the thoughts that hissed at him, and the sound of her pained breaths. It was pain, but it was the only thing that felt as though he could control at the moment.