Dragoncrest Cliffs Meet in the middle

All welcome, but looking for his mama @Chacal

On Paws of pressed sand he walked and walked. The small scratch upon his nose gone, barely even visible, and it hadn't left a scar. He wouldn't have wished to show his manman such a thing. She deserved to know he was safe and cared for. Not hated and loathed by the wolf he had sworn to watch over.

Why he had done so, he wasn't even sure anymore. Because he deserved better, he knew better, but this small burning feeling to be near the white mountain beast drove him mad sometimes.

He lay a rabbit at his paws and stared at the cliffs of home. A low aching started in his chest and worked it's way down, and tears sprang to his eyes. He thought of the sand dunes, and the way he and his siblings played there. He remembered the feeling of sand underfoot and the way Suzu loved to eat seafood, specifically whale. Manman's singing low and beautiful and home.

It was all home and yet he felt unused to being here. He felt out of place and wrong. He no longer belonged anywhere. And it was such a pain.

He bowed his head, unable to summon the energy to howl loudly. So he called out quietly instead. Someone may hear and maybe not.

IF they didn't he could leave the food there and they would smell him, know he had visited.

Scarcely heard above the screaming of the gulls came a voice that was faint, and yet immediately recognizable. Of her first litter, only two now remained with the pack though Etienne's wellbeing had been the most questionable, given the fact that he had bolted away, heartbroken, when his Grandma Rosalyn had passed away. For weeks she had wondered if he had wandered, or if someone had taken him in. He was a capable young man, but to be gone so long...She'd had to wonder- had something happened to him, or was he worried about coming home after running away?

She tossed those questions aside as she raced through the undergrowth at the edge of their territory and out into the open, where she could see him. Tears coursed down her cheeks as she bounded toward her lost boy, crying his name on a soft, quiet breath.

Etienne knew his call was a quite one, but he was a bit ashamed really. That was what it came down too. He had left his family when they had needed him most. He had left them and ignored their calls and he had just gone. Perhaps Anselm was right, perhaps he was a coward or a fool, leaving his family like that. Maybe he would leave the sharp tongued mountain wolf too. Maybe that was what he was made too do, just leave. Never get attached or stay. Just do his duty and then leave. Help those he could, but form no attachments. That felt like it would be a lonely existence.

Etienne had known his mother would be worried. Hadn't he spent many nights worrying in return for her to worry after him. He hadn't meant to break her heart as he had. And that was probably what he had done. Or maybe she breathed a sigh of relief when he was gone. A child so hindered by their body, whose loud noises hurt his ears. Who felt the ground and it's vibrations acutely, could tell how other's felt. Perhaps that had been a burden for Manman.

Ear's pricked forward as a hushed noise came to him. The pounding of feet on sand and then his name on breathless lips. And there she was the prettiest wolf in the Teekon as far as he was concerned. His tail began to wag of it's own accord, and he felt his chest tighten and tears course down his face. As whines slipped from throat and betwixt lips to dance along the open air. His legs felt weak and wobbly. And all he could think, was how wonderful it was to see her.

The word that Etienne lived came to her as a relief. Having watched his littermate get snatched into the skies shortly after he’d been old enough to walk and wander had set her up to believe that she might yet lose one of her precious children and when Etienne had run off after the deaths of his grandmothers, she had wondered if she would ever see him again.

It had not ceased the restless rippling of an anxious heart that pined for her gentle child, however. Suzu had explained that Etienne would not come home and return to them, and that reality had stung. Still- she would never shun a child who returned to her clutch, even temporarily.

So while she felt slighted, relief reigned supreme and she greeted him with welcoming fondness, startled to see how much he had grown over time.

Etienne had not had an easy childhood at least where grief was concerned
But it had been a loving one.

Words began to fall from lups like water. Manman! It be so good to see you. I sorry i be leavin' like dat. I was not good.

His tail wagged harder behind him. His voice thick with unshed tears. How good it was to see her.

I be takin' care of a wolf dat lost muc' but i missed you. Wanted to see you.

"My boy, my boy, my Etiii," She crooned to him, sitting back to see his face, now the face of a young man. She lifted a paw to his jawline, to tilt his head as if to inspect every angle of his beautiful, kindly face. Her eyes glistened with happy tears, and her lips were pulled up in a trembling, but grateful smile. She missed him. And while she wished he could simply come home- bring his friend, even, she understood that some wolves, especially the men, were wont to travel.

"You be a healer, t'rough an' t'rough,
my boy, I am so proud of you," She sung to him, reaching forward to embrace him again.

A softness then lit up his golden eyes. He pressed his cheek into his mothers paw. A happiness bittersweet and longong. But it was only him to blame.

He could never bring Anselm to the sea. He would fight against his mother his sister and he would not allow the mountain boy to hurt them. Anselm didn't know his culture didn't realize the strength of mothers and daughters.

He curled into hher chest. Tightly closing his eyes as he would have as a pup. He was too big now for her to encompass all of him, but he didn't care. He would always be a mama's boy.

i be tryin' o' but it be 'ard. I don't like to see de pain an' i can feel it manman and it is awful.

No matter how tall he grew, or how broad his shoulders became, he would always fit into her soul as a child would- in an everlasting hug that could never be outgrown. In her mind's eye, he was her baby still- with a round and pleasant face, sparkling eyes, and a smile that brought a fierce pride to her spirit. All of her children were loved, regardless of where they roamed.

It seemed to be in their nature- but she was grateful for every return, even if it was only temporary.

She could feel his grief, much in the same way that he described how he could feel the pain of others. She would never think him soft, for caring or for feeling. To her, a man who was in possession of emotions was a blessing, though she hated knowing that her son carried such a burden.

She knew loss, and she knew grief. It was inevitable that her children would know it too- and that they would become more and more familiar with it as time went on. She could not shield them from it, or soften its keen sting; she could only hoped that they would find the strength within themselves to have the courage to carry on, regardless.

"Feeling de pain of ot'ers is a very real t'ing-
even if not yours, it does not lessen the sting.
You must try an' set some of de pain free-
so dat you may 'ave a life as well, Chéri."

Etienne was donecgrowing now, but he was still larger than his mama. But that was okay. She loved him anyway and hugged him as tightly as she would and could.

Etienne knew even though he was fsr from home. No matter what his life did or where it took him. His mother would always understand him so well. And love him unconditionally.

He thought about her words. 'ow do i set it down?

He had not learned to do that. At least he didn't think so. The grief of his granmes still cut him to the quick.

He was so young to have learned what it felt to lose too much at once, and in so violent a way. She couldn't wish that loss away- if it had been possible, she would have wished for her mothers to come back long ago. Etienne looked to her now for ways of lessening the grief, and she wished that she had the right answer for him- but there was no way to know.

"You look for light in de life dat you 'ave.
In de warmth of a hug, in de sound of a laugh.
Look for good ways to make yourself busy,
but always take time to give loved ones a visit.

Your granmes be gone- but do not t'ink on dat.
T'ink on deir smiles, deir stories, deir laughs.
Look for dem in de surging waves,
in de singing cliffs, an' in whispering caves.
Dey are de scent of brine in de air,
de colours of de sunset, de dawn, de day.
Do not weep for dem because dey are gone,
rejoice to see bits of dem everywhere- watching you, after dey 'ave moved on."

Once upon a time, Etienne would have wished hia family whole, his granmes here. But then he wouldn't have met Anselm or gone further in his healing. He wouldn't be the wolf he was. And though it was auch a painful truth. It was a truth none the less.

His smile turned sad and hia pretty golden eyes felt wet and heavy.

Or look at my reflection.

it was a whisper, but it was there. The grief that followed him around. He couldn't look at his own countenance, his face in waters without seeing her. And neither could his family

His beautiful face had a wistful sadness that filled his glistening eyes with a complicated gleam. She knew how bittersweet it was to look at him and see in the coffee-beige of his fur, and the ashy mocha of his points, the markings of Erzulie; given that the two were not related by blood at all, it was a complete fluke that he took after her so much.

”When I look at you,
I see de baby boy I knew-
I see my son, who is kind of heart,
Loyal, empathetic an’ smart.
I also see a brave young man,
One who ‘as grown, an’ learned what ‘e can,
one who grows an’ shows me each an’ every day,
‘Ow to be a proud, proud Maman.
I see de man you will grow to be,
An’ it brings me such joy, you see-
Because I believe in all dat you can be,
Me sweet boy- I ‘ope someday, you learn to see
What it is dat I see when I look at you.”

Eyes glistening, she smiled at her son, hoping he might take some solace in knowing how truly happy it made her heart each and every time she saw him.

Etienne didn't know the particulars of his birth or his maman's. And he didn't need too. What he did know was ehat was.

But then his mother began her gentle croon. And his hesrt tightened with joy and compassion. Oceans above he loved her.

He burrowed into her again. This full grown man, twisted tight against his mother. So happy.

Thank you Maman. his voice whisper choked.