Northstar Vale I can shoot a shotgun, I can catch a fish

Just like that, Mereo was hers to watch. She didn’t feel at all equipped, and leading a place alone had never been her intention, but this was Killdeer’s home and she’d made a promise.

Unlike some, she stood by those.

Even that dig was tired, her heart not in it. She was tired of resenting, over and over, the things that hurt her. Germanicus had left earlier than she would have liked, but when he brushed off her half-hearted protests, she didn’t argue. She wanted it over with too.

When Fennec went walking, she’d intended to visit the cave. But instead her steps took her towards Epoch, the last place she should probably go but the only one she actually wanted to.

She wanted to talk to her dad.

Her mom too, but for this particular heartbreak…. with Towhee she would want to get angry. Phox would just be there. Besides, she hadn’t really visited since learning he was back (I assume, idk).

Lifting her muzzle, she called out, summoning @Phox with a softer than usual request. She didn’t want to make an ordeal out of this, especially if Germanicus had burned so many bridges here. But she would see her family, for as long as she could, before whatever happened came true.

It had occurred to her, if her husband returned to lead them away… she’d lose this proximity again. Another barb to her tired emotional state.

Phox felt like tragedy came in waves. For months, life would be peaceful, and then one thing after another would run him ragged. He was usually pretty good about staying optimistic and upbeat, but even he had a breaking point. He wasn’t there yet, but he knew it was only a matter of time if things didn’t start to turn around just a little bit.

Fennec’s call was a welcome one, and he abandoned whatever he was doing to answer the call, step-step-hopping his way to her. Fennec! It’s me, he greeted, knowing is awkward gait was likely to throw her off. He was surprised by how his heart swelled at the sight of her. Perhaps he never should have left Mereo. But no, he had needed to be here for Towhee, and he no longer had worth as a soldier.

He moved in slower now, greeting her with a gentle touch to her shoulder with an outstretched neck.

She didn’t recognize his gait and it spooked her for a second. She thought it might be an injured Meadow, coming to turn her away… or Reyson, though he hadn’t faced the cat to her knowledge. His voice tipped her off immediately.

She joined the embrace eagerly, pressing her face to the warmth of his pelt and breathing in that familiar, comforting scent. She felt tears prick at her but didn’t let them go. Not here.

I’m glad you’re okay. Mom told me you were missing, and we looked, but there wasn’t a trace. What happened?

With his steps he had an injured leg, which would explain why he hadn’t come back to them. And she’d known when he left that he wouldn’t… he’d only been going to trial Epoch, but he wouldn’t have left Towhee for her. Unlike with Killdeer, that fact wasn’t a source of jealousy, though a large part of her wished they’d both stayed.

He should have expected she would ask, and yet he felt himself flinch again, what remained of his hip twitching uneasily beneath the skin. I'm not sure exactly, but I lost one of my hind legs. There's no wound there now, and I don't remember much of what happened. I didn't think I'd be much help in Mereo, not the way that I was. And I'd always intended on finding Towhee. He had wished he could have made the trek to Mereo, but something about facing Germanicus had felt so... weighty. He hadn't wanted to do it.

There's something else, too. Phox paused, his voice heavy with a frown pulling down his mouth. Leona is gone. We think she must have slipped somewhere and hit her head. By the time we found her, she was already gone. The sight had been gruesome, and Phox pushed the image from his head. He was glad Towhee didn't have to be the one to tell Fennec. He didn't wish for her to relive it anymore than she already had.

Fennec listened with interest to the vague story, about to interject when he moved on to the second portion of the news. The response died on her tongue, and any desire she had to share her own issues withered immediately. They weren’t really anything compared to this.

Shit, dad. She hadn’t known her younger sister at all but she could easily imagine what they were going through. Her brother too. That was likely why Killer was there so much; she couldn’t be upset at him for not telling her though. She doubted she’d have wanted to hear it.

She’d need to check in on him then.

Mom’s probably a mess, then. I’m glad Killer’s been here, but I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Otherwise she would have come sooner.

He knew it was a lot to pile on her all at once, but she needed to know. And he didn't blame Killer for not telling her. You couldn't have known, he assured her. That was why he had sent a messenger. Reverie had been up for the task, and he hoped that he could make it up to her somehow.

It's been particularly tough on your mom. I'm glad I was at least able to be here for her. Do you want to come with me to find her? he asked. As long as Fennec was escorted, he didn't see any issue in letting her across the boundary of Epoch. And if Arsenio or Tamar had anything to say about it, he was pretty sure he could explain the situation.

It would give them time to catch up on other things along the way.

That was honestly the last thing she wanted to do right now. Sure. What would she even say? What did you say when someone’s fucking kid died?

It didn’t matter. She was going whether she wanted to or not.

Fennec fell in step beside her dad but didn’t offer anything more. There… wasn’t much else to say, was there? Everything was a fucking shit show. And if her life was a disaster, her parents’ was a calamity. Now it was apparently her turn to support them and, already on empty, she knew she was about to fall short.

She’d do her best. At least if she sucked at it she could say she tried.

They wouldn't get there right away, but Fennec let silence settle in. Trying to think of a potentially more cheerful topic, Phox remembered their last conversation.

How are things going with Germanicus? He vaguely recalled they were committed in some way, but he also didn't think that Fennec was one to go head-over-heels for somebody. But maybe that had changed. Plus, he was selfishly curious about any future grandchildren who might come later in the year.

It was going so well until her dad cornered her with the most benign question possible. Of fucking course he would ask that. It was such a normal question to ask… and she was an idiot for not being prepared for it.

Fennec considered lying but that could backfire hard, and honestly, it wasn’t worth the effort. Lying to her parents was probably worse than telling them the truth, even if the truth pretty much sucked.

They aren’t. She replied a little flatly. He hadn’t come back to answer that yet but she’d rather be pessimistic and wrong than the alternative. Especially where Towhee was concerned. She knew how much her mom loved grandkids.

He’s in love with someone else. So I told him to own up to it and go fucking face it. Turns out marriage number two was as much a joke as the first one. She snorted, then shook her coat, as though doing so might shake the tension out of the air. Anyway. It isn’t important.

Phox's mouth made a very round O when she stated that things weren't going at all. He frowned at the news that—apparently—Germanicus had gone off to find somebody else he loved. Ruenna, Phox wondered. He remembered the strange coyote named Qiao and her message, though it wouldn't do him any good to pass it on to Fennec.

Looks like we're both two-for-two, he said weakly. Perhaps Fennec would find humor in that. She'd always been able to handle the worst when there was a pinch of comedy mixed in. Maybe it was the curse of the Redhawks', never to find lasting partnerships. Perhaps his own parents had sucked that out of the family somehow. Then again, Towhee and Maxim seemed stable. Phox truly hoped their relationship would withstand the loss of their daughter. He thought of Primrose, his own sweet boy who had died so young.

Yeah. She didn’t laugh, but it did get a small smile out of her. One that faded pretty quickly with the tone of what they were talking about. She forgot he’d had two too… mainly because she tended to forget her mom. It was always uncomfortable realizing that, but Towhee had filled the role for so long it was impossible to imagine anyone else.

It’s not as bad, this time. I didn’t love him. But it still sucks to be left behind, and to know that he gets to go off and find happiness somewhere. If anyone ever needed proof for why life wasn’t fair, here was a great example. Twice now she’d lost everything to men who seemed to lose nothing in return.

If I were you, I couldn’t have done it. She added, letting her voice fall quieter. At least I always had Killdeer.

He caught the smile just before it moved away, and Phox smiled a little sadly in return. He couldn't say if he had loved Camilla or not, but he'd had plenty of affection for her. And he'd gotten two crazy, wonderful kids from their short time together. Not only that, but Towhee had been an excellent mother, and he remembered somebody recently wondering if Towhee was Fennec's biological mother.

I always had your mom, he replied. Even when he had left to find Niamh, Phox had always known he would come back to Towhee. If Niamh had survived, insisted on keeping his kids from him, he would have gone back to his sister, because she was his rock. No matter how many curveballs the world threw at him, Towhee was there to pick up the pieces.

Now it was his turn.

Is that boy of yours turning two this year? he asked, truly foggy on the details of his grandson's age.

She was glad that her question didn’t seem to upset her dad by his tone. Because his answer really just made her feel ten times worse. Outwardly she kept moving, her features unreadable, but internally she kicked herself.

She could have had Fig. But like the absolutely ungrateful dumbfuck she was, she’d taken off on him. And now he was probably so pissed she’d never have him again.

Yeah. He’s been great, with everything. I’m glad he was here too. He was a thousand times better at comforting Towhee than she would ever be. And he’d been supportive since he’d first caught wind of her problems with Germanicus… which was something they’d need to talk about, honestly, when she got back. Maybe it would help to know, when everything was over, just where they’d find themselves landing.

How the time flew! Phox felt like he barely knew Killdeer, although perhaps that wasn't so odd. A generational gap felt like eons, and so much had happened the year he was born. Phox hoped that this year would be different. He wanted to be more present for the his nieces, nephews, grandkids, and of course his own kids. Not just the new ones, either. He wanted to reconnect with them all. Several of his kids were far away now, but he was pretty sure Meerkat was still living on the coast, and he had Fennec right here. Not to mention Jack and Killdeer.

Especially with Leona's death, Phox felt all the more compelled to (re)connect with family. And with his own prospects of having kids looking slimmer and slimmer by the day, perhaps it was better to focus on what he had, rather than what might be.

What's he getting into these days? Phox asked, genuinely curious.

It had been nice, recently, getting closer to her son and finally feeling like she was fixing the rift she’d torn by leaving the first time. It wasn’t something that helped particularly solve the other problems, but it was something to hold onto. The one positive she could draw from what otherwise felt like a massive waste of time and energy.

He’s been here a bit, obviously. But I know he was interested in visiting other packs and learning some diplomacy. Probably something Tierra put in his mind, but no offense, he’ll be better at it. She smirked slightly at her dad, figuring he had seen enough of Tierra’s personality to understand. Her sister was a trip, and not always the good kind. Fennec figured the only reason they’d not had any interpack incidents was because Tierra also didn’t tend to do work she wasn’t told to do.

I don’t know if he was hoping to lead, someday, but it seemed like he wanted to grow a little in the ranks. I can’t help but feel like I fucked that up for him. Not that it’s my fault. It didn’t really matter whose fault it was. She’d come to the place where Killer had been happy, stayed, gotten involved with the leader, and now the entire thing looked like it was about to fall apart.

He gave a chuckle at her comment about Tierra. She certainly was something. Phox wondered where she got it, but he figured it had something to do with her biological father. Phox would never put any ideas like that into her head.

Ah, I remember when I was young and dead-set on leadership. Stemmed from something else entirely, but it turns out it's just not for me. Maybe Killer will have better luck with it. And don't worry about fucking him up; you're just doing the best you can with what you've got. And quite frankly, Germanicus hadn't done a great job of making it clear to Fennec what he'd wanted, from what Phox gathered.

You think he'll try to start something of his own? Phox wondered aloud.

The two continued to chat until they reached their destination (@Towhee), where hopefully they had a somber, quiet time.