Swiftcurrent Creek Promise I'll be kind, but I won't stop until that boy is mine

Whether @Lestan followed or not, Reverie disappeared into their den with blurry vision and shaking paws. Why were they shaking again? She felt so calm —
No, she was panicking, and somehow that was more confusing. She let out a breath and tried to calm herself, but when she went to tuck @Blossom to her chest, she nearly dropped her. Reverie held her a little tighter after that. She realized, a bit belatedly, that it was because she didn't want this. Any of it. She cared about Swiftcurrent Creek; Jakoul and her children, @Arric, even @Akavir and @Moss, still, to some extent. She'd never trusted any of them, but when had she ever trusted anyone?
And she knew, of course, that the problem was her. It had been easier to acknowledge when Lestan was withdrawn from her. She was beginning to understand that it was because he had never really seen it. Or if he did, he loved her too much to say so. And Reverie had never truly wanted to change in the first place; wasn't that why she'd left The Gilded Sea? Except she was realizing now what that meant, and she wasn't sure how she felt about it.
All she knew was that she had never really wanted to get better after all, and the realization didn't scare her as much as it should have.