Bearclaw Valley one who is already beyond life himself

he had insulted his blackbird, and since then, merrick assumed her already greatly weakened favour of him would not be held out. an olive branch he must find, and quickly, before she hated him forever. 
it was not the first time merrick had offended his shadow-bride, but like all twisted things, he wadded up his guilt in the matter and tossed it over his shoulder.
a few bounding minutes later brought him to the neat little cavern where @Evien kept the entire pharmacy for ursus, including poisons that merrick had once wanted to ingest. perhaps he still did. 
"i blew it with her. again," he huffed when he had caught sight of the doctor. "she needs to leave. she needs to go kill something. she clearly hated it there at that meeting, but you know, whatever. i blew it."

 

Evien's life was all about routine these days. Ursus had gotten smaller, but they were still abundant in dramatics and in aggression. They still needed a healer, and he was more than happy to fill his role. It was what he'd picked all those months ago, and it was where he was going to stay until he died. And the most insane thing was that he enjoyed his life here. Was it perfect? Of course not. But he'd grown to love the bearwolves and their contentious personalities.

Merrick had not come to lament to him in a while, so Evien felt an odd mixture of amused and concerned when the Bruin-witch approached, his dark ears angled forward and forest eyes fixing on singular amber.

"She left?" he questioned, tipping his head to the side. Had Leila truly gone from Ursus, or was Merrick only speculating she might? "She did seem a bit... miffed, at the meeting. But I didn't think she'd leave over it.."

merrick scowled as evien attempted to make sense of his angered rambling. "no, she hasn't left. but she should get out of ursus for a while," the coywolf explained more slowly, lopsided gaze becoming more mournful.
"we should take a trip, or something, i don't know," he sighed, crossing foreleg over the other. "she isn't happy." not with him, not with ursus, and surely not with the two new infants who had extended her nursing duties. or so merrick supposed; having never asked the blackbird, he could not know.
"don't want to lose her, evien."

Oh, so he wanted to take her out on an excursion. That made sense. Evien had yet to truly sort through his own emotions in all of this turmoil - the only place he was sorely disorganized in was his emotional dealings, - but he was glad for the couple. Perhaps that would be good for the both of them.

"Then don't lose her," he explained simply, settling himself down and offering the other man a small smile. "Take her somewhere. With all that's been happening recently, you two probably haven't had enough time to spend together."

What that meant for the rest of Ursus, Evien did not know.

the physician came to settle near merrick. he allowed himself a gluttonous look at the pretty doctor, but one that ultimately fizzled beneath the dour clouds gathered over his heart. "there's just ... a lot." he sighed, thinking of how when he began all this, he had not truly envisioned himself as a leader.
merrick's countenance grew thoughtful; by turns he straightened, looking closely at evien. "does she trust you?"
"she must," he answered himself in the next second, not truly wanting to hear any voice but his own at present, "or else she wouldn't have let you name her." 
leila, was it? soft and evocative of a parasol and a picnic. a bit of lace for the feral shoulders of his beloved.
"do you think she trusts you?"

Evien paused momentarily at the question. Did Leila trust him...? He mulled it over, brows drawn up. "I'm not sure," he admitted with a small smile. "We've had... well, I don't want to call them talks, because they weren't, really, but I think that we mutually enjoyed those moments." Mostly with him treating the dark wolf, either for injuries or giving her herbs to help with her impending birth. But she had let him near her den, before the pups were delivered, and she'd let him sleep near her. "I don't want to assume, but I think she might trust me, at least a little."

And Evien wouldn't betray that trust, either. 

"I called her Leila. I thought she might like to have a name that others could call her by," he told the man. "It means night, in my grandfather's native language. It seemed fitting."

        leila. night. touched by the kindness of the kind medic, merrick observed evien with a more pleasant expression. "a little is a lot for her." so she was not alone when he was away pursuing his selfish interests 
        she had evien. his ragged lips parted in a boyish grin. "i like that. she has always made the nights less haunted." the raven turned the shadows to flesh and blood, filling her witch with the strength to face them.
"i think that — because she trusts you — and ico. he ran ... away" merrick struggled to drag himself back to the present and refocus. 
"you've been here for everything, you know."

Merrick and Leila had a closeness that Evien did not - and likely could not - understand. The medic smiled regardless, at the way the man spoke about her. Surely it was nice, to have someone who could make things feel less... haunted truly was the best word for it.

His thoughts briefly wandered to Fields. To Kepler.

He chased them away.

"I didn't think I'd stay, after... well, after Fields left. But I care about you - and all of Ursus. This is my home," he explained, looking around his den momentarily before returning his gaze to the Bruin-witch. "Do you trust me, Merrick?"

"there was always something," merrick blurted of fields, voice trailing into nothing. something between he and evien, something pulsing and invisible and raw, something to which the bear had never been privy. but he did not feel cast out, not now.
he gazed into the forest-eyes — how shadeweald and summerlight the doctor's stare was now. but behind that, merrick knew the loyalist held much more. and much unsaid.
"completely," the bear-witch breathed, snapping upright with a vocal quaver of appreciation, "enough to tell you now that i think you should be the third leader here. in ursus. with leila. and me." choppy chop chop; tail waving against the groundcover behind him.

Evien hummed in agreement, recalling the beautiful blond wolf who had immediately stolen his heart. His chest still ached with the loss, even now. Perhaps it would be better if he had known where he wandered to. 

Perhaps not.

Shaking himself out of his reverie, Evien turned his attention back to the leader. There were so many things he could say, or do, or think. But his mind came up blank. He'd never considered that he was trusted and appreciated quite this much - it shook him to his core and left him blinking in astonishment for a few heartbeats.

Figuring that he should probably say something, and that maybe nothing he said in this situation would be correct, Evien forced his mouth to move. But once he did, the words flowed easily. "I won't let you down," he assured, a smile stretching across his maw. Warm, grateful, humbled. Determined.

"i know that you won't," merrick smiled, and truly in all his heart he felt it.
none had ascended so far into his esteem as evien; to fall from this height was to court death at the hand of the very man who had favoured you. 
it was a very good thing, then, that merrick trusted the doctor not to misstep. 
"i think you will do well for us. maybe we need a ... different sort of eye on things," the prince chuckled, thinking of how alike he and the blackbird were even in their distance. "i should go find her. tell her. or," merrick grew thoughtful. "she might like to hear it from you."

It was nice, Evien mused, to have someone put so much trust in him. For a while, he'd wondered if it was truly in his best interests to stay in Ursus. But as time passed and bonds grew, he had no doubt that this was where he belonged.

His beliefs had always been a point of contention between himself and Merrick, but over time, he felt as though they'd reached a mutual understanding that neither of them was bound to sway too far on those morals. Still, a lopsided grin formed on his maw. "I'll do my best," he assured him, eyes crinkling. "But I do think we work together now much better than we did at the start." That was an understatement. Evien had mellowed a bit, and was no longer quite so temperamental, but when he'd first gotten there he'd been so angry. He liked to think he'd gotten better.

"I'd like to tell her," he realized aloud, brows raising a bit. "It would be nice to have her blessing, too. To make sure she's okay with it." He looked back to Merrick and tipped his head to the side. "If that's okay with you?"

"i think so, too." there had been a time where merrick believed that evien might have betrayed him, poisoned him, or otherwise found a way to turn his back upon ursus. the moment had never come; he knew it now to be a paranoia common to himself, and nodded at the physician.
"go talk to her. i'll find the kids." all four of them, he supposed, though merrick was no fan of the tension their adoption had caused amid his own brood. he was not to any degree as involved with the quartet, not when compared to his lover's daily work, but neither was he blind. something must be done.
for now he stood to his paws, grinned through the rain. "you deserve this, evien. do not ever forget that."

Honestly, Evien had thought about it in the past. Running away, poisoning, betrayal. But as time moved along he realized that he could never. Ursus was his home, for better or worse, forever. He'd stay here until he died, most likely. Evien couldn't imagine a world where he would just leave.

The medic got to his paws, turning and intending to seek out the black-furred woman, until Merrick spoke again. 

Did he deserve this? 

A smile formed on his maw and he dipped his head to Merrick. "I'll do my best to make that into a true statement," he assured, then turned back to head out on his mission to find the shadow.

fade here? ^^